urgh, this night is d...r...a...g...g...i...n...g...holiday weeks always screw me up anyways - just point me in the right direction and send me on my merry way, i guess!

argh! so, last week we had to turn in our enrollment forms for health insurance. currently, i have prudential's hmo, which seems to work great for me. but aetna bought prudential, so effective jan 1, no more prudential, no more hmo - i'll be under aetna's ppo. ppo's are supposedly so much more wonderful because there's so much more choice - blah blah fucking blah. i never had a problem getting the required referrals and stuff. all i know is that my premiums are going up (tho not through the roof like my married and/or with children co-workers), i'll now have a $300 deductible that i didn't have before, my doctor visits will be $15 or $20 (instead of $10) and my prescription costs will TRIPLE. used to be, i could use the mail order company and send in a one month co-pay and get a three month supply for the price of one month. not any more - they want me to send in two months' copays for a two month supply. what's the advantage to that?!? for most normal people, i suppose that's not a big deal, but i have 10 prescriptions to fill! and i'm supposed to have a video EEG in the hospital in january, but i'm gonna have to cancel that because i sure as hell don't have the $300 co-pay. i suppose i should just shut the hell up and consider myself lucky that i have _some_ insurance, but to go from having such good coverage to this _SHIT_ is quite a shock.

*grumble grumble grumble*

had a nice christmas, even though it seems as though everyone is sick with a head cold or some such illness...stayed at mommy's xmas eve - we cooked a big-ass ham...pooky came over xmas morning and we opened presents - lots of goodies! i did good picking out mom's clothes, i wasn't sure they'd fit, but they did...in the afternoon pooky and i went to my place, since that's where dad was bringing the kids...the phucker was actually EARLY - showed up at 1:45 instead of 2...coulda been cuz he had a woman with him...can't remember her name, something hard to pronounce...dad says they went to school or something together and have been talking on the internet...god only knows what he's been telling her...*shrug*...it was good to see matt & paige again...since they were s'posed to be there at 2, i hadn't made any plans for lunch or anything - well the kids come in talking about how they're _starving_ and how everything was closed...luckily i had stuff to make a pot of spaghetti, so we had some food...paige is a little whiny butt, and readily admits that she's spoiled...so she begged me to do shrinky-dinks and i said yes - my pillsbury doughboy turned out rather well. *8-) her designs turned out good as well, she seems to have a knack for it (could be why she was begging me to do "something artistic")...matt made a Mr. Hankey, the xmas poo from south park...

all in all, a good xmas...until i had a seizure late xmas night - argh! i'm thinking i'm gonna have to cancel my video eeg cuz i don't have $300 just sitting around to pay the deductible next year...man, they really FUCKED us on the health insurance, that's all i can say...

well no wonder rudolph was pissed at being left out of the reindeer games!

The Top 15 Reindeer Games:
15. Strip poker with Santa's granddaughter
14. Attach the Mistletoe to Santa's Ass
13. Spin the Salt Lick
12. Crapping down the chimneys of non-believers
11. Moose or Dare
10. Flying into the "No Fly Zone" over Iraq just to watch Saddam do a slow burn and Santa dampen his Depends
9. Bait-and-Shoot Elmo
8. The Annual Turn-Frosty-Yellow-from-50-Paces Contest
7. Scare the Holy Crap Out of the Airline Pilot
6. Convince the Elves to Eat "Raisinets"
5. Pin the Tail on Santa's Big Fat Animal-Abusing Ass
4. Hide the Venison Sausage with Vixen
3. Elf Tossing
2. Sniff the Tail on the Donkey
and the Number 1 Reindeer Game...
1. The "Rudolph the Shitfaced Reindeer" Drinking Game

I Hate Having My Birthday On Christmas
By Jesus. Posted on 2001-12-24
Having My birthday on Christmas sucks. Those of you out there who were born on or around December 25th know what I'm talking about. If you're born in July or February, your birthday is something special. It's YOUR day, and your friends and family take special care to treat you well and buy you gifts and simply celebrate. But if your birthday is on Christmas, like Mine is, you get lost in the shuffle. EVERYONE is celebrating, EVERYONE is buying gifts for EVERYONE else, and you're just not special. The worst is when people buy you fucking "combination" birthday and Christmas gifts. What a load of donkey crap! Everyone else gets TWO sets of gifts, and I only get one. And you think they spend twice as much on Me? Hell no. It's always the same excuse, "It's the holidays so we couldn't afford to spend a whole lot". The cheap fuckers. Even back when it was just My birthday and nobody else was making a big deal out of it, I still got shafted. I mean, what the hell are Frankincense and Myrrh, anyway? So this year, I'm not going to celebrate Christmas. I'm not buying gifts for ANYBODY but Me. (Dad's really hard to shop for anyway. Talk about the Guy who literally has EVERYTHING). Maybe it's time to give Kwanzaa a try.

"Do you think you surf the Net a lot? Here's a way to test your skills. Each year Terra Lycos releases the most popular search terms for the year. Take a stab at guessing the number one search in each of the categories listed."

go ahead, take the quiz!

how'd ya do? here are my results - no cheating! if ya haven't taken the test yet, look no further. *8-P

I scored 78% (7 out of 9 correct):
1. Most searched-for term on Lycos.com in 2001:
You said Osama Bin Laden. The correct answer is Dragonball.
dragonball? alrighty - we're obviously not heading to lycos to find out the latest headlines...

2. Most searched-for band:
You said The Beatles. The correct answer is N Sync.
oh jesus...i figured with george harrison dying recently, perhaps the beatles searches would increase dramatically...

3. Most searched-for woman:
You were right: Britney Spears.
interesting - RuPaul was one of the options for this question!

4. Most searched-for man:
You were right: Osama bin Laden.
well, duh - everyone wants that $25million...of course he's the most searched for!

5. Most searched-for sports star:
You were right: Anna Kournikova.
only cuz they wanted to see her nekkid!

6. Most searched-for fad:
You were right: Nostradamus Hoax.
of course, they started getting all those nostradamus hits on september 11...

7. Most searched-for TV show:
You were right: Big Brother.
yeah, i guess the 6 people that watched the lame-ass show watched the lame-ass net feeds too...

8. Most searched-for film:
You were right: Harry Potter.
was a toss-up between harry and lord of the rings - lotr's now ranked as the #1 (of the top 250) movie on the imdb, how's that for weird?

9. Most searched-for news event:
You were right: September 11 Attacks.
well, duh...

it'd be interesting to see the results from other engines, such as google and jeeves...

good to know i'm not the only one doing depraved shit in photoshop....

so, i'm gonna be having the get together this year for my dad and brothers and sister, here in my apartment...i'm finding i have to do a little "straightening up" - particularly the refrigerator, covered in magnetic poetry - very QUEER poetry at that, some of which i assembled, other works of art done by friends that have stopped by...

of course, adam (my 20 year old brother) knows i'm a big ol' dyke and he's had his flirtations with bisexuality (not sure how he defines his orientation these days) but it's my half brother and half sister that i have to watch out for - matt's 13, paige is 9. i have a _very_ strained relationship with their mother (my ex-stepmonster) and don't want to give her any reason to keep bro and sis from coming to visit me, so it's better to just set aside anything that the kids might see and casually mention to their mom...

i can keep most of the magnets up, but some of the dirty sentences that have been composed and some of the outright sexual words will be relocated to a cupboard...

some fridge favorites that will be removed or shuffled around:
"a curvaceous butt is the center of everything"
"do you like a pink vibrator up in your voluptous bottom"
"nympho juice is loose in your caboose"
"we want sleazy love deep up in the tweedledee"
"the fabulous butt thrust is amazingly easy to do"

hrmmm, i hadn't realized i had such a butt theme going on there! *8-)

other faves:
"horny halibut need pimping"
"she had me slurping like a nasty chickadee"
"i desire an excellent licking tonight please"
"naked sheep strut with vulgar homosexuality"
"naughty women are my poetry"

my magnetic poetry calendar next to the computer will need reorganizing as well - it doesn't have all the blatant sexual words, yet i still managed to make dirty poetry. *8-) to wit:

"blow me
a time to come all over
let a rain storm begin

she can open you
hear her gentle murmurs
remember the moment"

urgh, time to get back to the cleanup...

ya know, i've really been looking forward to going to see that new Russell Crowe movie, "A Beautiful Mind"...but now i'm not so sure...perhaps i'll just read the book instead...

i love biopics, and i know that from time to time you have to change certain facts or events around to make a good movie, but apparently John Nash's sexual orientation was deemed too controversial for a major motion picture and they've left all of his gay experiences out...

so, it's alright to be crazy, just not gay...sounds like the sort of thing that calls for a boycott of the film studios involved...

for more info, check out this link, at the drudgereport.com...

ya know, personally, i think russell crowe in some man-on-man action could be kind of _HOT_... ;-)

just got a call from robin - there's no need for me to come in to work tonight, they've gotten all the work done...damn - it woulda been nice to get 8 hours of OT...but i suppose it wasn't meant to be. i feel like crap, coming down with a BITCH of a cold...i'm all stuffed up.

got the hospital bill today...the surgeon's bill arrived last week - $3k+...

my 3.5 days in St. Francis totaled $9584.64. Of that, I have to pay $27.75 - a bargain, i suppose! Thirteen grand plus for a little gall bladder - yowza!

the purity test's making the rounds again...so i took it...the results?

Congratulations! Your Purity score is 41%
The current average is 64%
The higher the number, the more pure you are; in the same vein, the lower the score, the more of a sleaze-bag you are.

hmm...need to work on lowering that score...*8-)

yearly evaluations tonight at work...urgh. don't think i have too much to worry about, but ya never know...

currently reading "Fast Food Nation: The Dark Side of the All-American Meal" - it certainly gives me pause before considering that next trip to mickey d's...

urgh...work SUCKS, can i just say that...office morale stands at a steady ZERO percent, and that's being generous. 't all started monday evening, when we got our packets for the new health insurance - since aetna bought out prudential (our current insurer) we'll be on the aetna plan effective 01-01-02. no more hmo, it's not even an option. besides our rates going up, the so-called "benefits" to this plan suck compared to what we have now. seeing the doc will cost $15, instead of $10, and a specialist will cost $20. but the thing that REALLY sucks is the mail-order prescription service. right now i can mail in a one month copay for an rx and get a three month supply - no more of that, we'll send in a two month copay and get a two month supply - where's the benefit there? hell, i'm better off just going month by month and getting the rx's filled at the drug store, since i have dosage changes and the like happening. there's also a $300 deductible that wasn't there before. it just majorly sucks, but what the hell can i do? i'm sure with all my preexisting conditions it'll be hard to get coverage anywhere else, but i don't really have time to check it out - we got the paperwork monday and they want it back friday...of course, this is our hell week, we're kind of busy with WORK and everything. arghhhh.

just woke up from what had to be the most bizarre dream i've had in a while...

i murdered someone with a dirty steak knife from mom's kitchen...except i don't really remember doing it - i was just accused of it and didn't seem to have an alibi, so i went along when some evil bitch (dunno who it was) said i was guilty and insisted on calling the cops...so the cops came (i was at some tupperware party-type event) and said they couldn't arrest me without one of the witnesses being there so i figured it was time to make my mad dash and get outta dodge...but someone was stealing my car (a gold lexus, btw) and i managed to grab a hold of the inside through the back window and the guy took off...so i'm hanging on for dear life and trying to get this guy to stop the car - ripped off his sunglasses, tried tickling him, tried hitting him...

and then i woke up.

i think america's getting back to it's old self - top two news headlines this evening? #1 - "Bin Laden surrounded?" - certainly a valid news story, deserving of the #1 spot...

and #2? "Winona Ryder arrested"...yup, back to the priorities, stuff that really matters to us americans - hey, shouldn't we be getting updates on gary condit and shark attacks on the east coast? poor winona...

can i just say...dr. english is so cool...it just blows me away that i can call at 1:30 on a friday afternoon and get an appointment for 4:10 that same day! previous doctors i've had would just laugh if ya tried something like that, even if ya just wanted to see a nurse practitioner...

so, the reason i called for an appointment is that i'm not feeling too good...do i have some sort of infection? my blood sugars are out of whack (yes, i have been taking all my meds!) and i was puking yesterday and i've had diarrhea - urgh! my top incision looks really weird - right now it appears to be oozing yellow-green stuff...the other 3 are healing up nicely though...

hungry? have a nice weiner!

stetmagazine.com bills itself as "the finest in cutting-edge fluff" - and i'd have to agree...check it out!

AWESOME! and oh so true...

If I were a work of art, I would be Salvador Dali's Persistence of Memory. I am a surreal landscape composed of several disjointed and bizarre components. I like to keep an eye on the time, although the very concept is fluid for me. People are never sure what they are seeing when they look at me. Which work of art would you be? The Art Test

i've learned something about myself tonight - i'm an old jewish lady...

for a couple of years now, saturday nights are generally reserved for mah jongg...go to mom's house and play with her and my bestest buds dale and greg...

mom got me a movie for my birthday that i had on my amazon.com wish list - Mah Jongg: The Tiles That Bind ...well, it finally arrived and i set it aside till we could all watch it together...we watched it tonight...and it was hysterical - looking at these groups of old jewish and chinese ladies and seeing that we're just like them! mah jongg has bound us together in ways that nothing else could...it's amazing, we sit around and play this game and eat and gossip and it's just wonderful...almost mystical, this connection we have when it comes to mah jongg...if we miss a week on occasion, i really miss it - i'd almost consider it an addiction. suppose i could be out cruising the bars for chicks on saturday nights, but no, i'd rather be at mom's playing with her and the gay boys...

slowly edging back to "normal" status - well, we can dream, can't we? i know i'll never be "normal", but i'm back to feeling among the living...

that said, now i have the sudden urge to go take a nap...*yawn*