still crazy...

shrink appt today - not EVEN gonna try fiddling around with my meds after all that's happened. i think it's good that i'm staying at my cousin's house, being around people - were i to stay at home, i know i'd totally lose it.

sleepless...

awake at this ungodly hour cuz i can't sleep. the calling was very nice yesterday - i knew a lot of people would show up, but not this many! i just hope mommma had an inkling of how much she was loved and respected. i miss her so much already - thinking of the funny stories and goofy things that were shared, on the way back to joanie's i kept thinking of things i wanted to tell mom about - but that wasn't gonna happen, at least not in the way i'd wanted to.

she's my best friend and i miss her so...

*sigh*

momma's obituary was in the paper today - there are times when it seems real, and other times that it just doesn't seem possible.

Linda C. Gravelie Southerland 57 of Indianapolis, passed away November 26, 2005. She was born May 14, 1948 in Indianapolis. She worked as a program analyst for Naval Avionics later known as Raytheon Technical Services Corporation for 30 years. Survivors include her children, Lori Beth and Adam J. Southerland; two sisters, Joan B. Starline and Sherry A. Postma; one brother, Thomas A. Gravelie and two God Children, Ashley M. Butler and Dominic Williams. Her parents, Andrew T. and Marian F. (Farnham) Gravelie, her sister, Susan F. Short and her God Son, Dametri Williams all preceded her in death. Funeral services will be conducted at 11:30 a.m. on Wednesday, November 30 at Resurrection Lutheran Church, 445 E. Stop 11 Rd. Visitation will be from 4:00 p.m. until 8:00 p.m. on Tuesday, November 29 at G.H. Herrmann Madison Ave. Funeral Home, 5141 Madison Ave. and from 10:30 a.m. until the time of service Wednesday at the church. Burial will be at Crown Hill Cemetery.

reading that in the newspaper made it seem less real, for some weird reason. visiting the therapist today (it was a regularly scheduled appt) seemed to help me, and i have no doubts momma would've been pissed if i'd canceled the appointment, like i wanted to do.

my mother's gone.

Linda Christine Gravelie Southerland died yesterday, Saturday November 26 at 6:50 am, after a battle with cancer.

there aren't words to describe my feelings right now.