neurologically speaking...

saw the neurologist friday afternoon, a followup visit to find out any results from the overnight video EEG i had a couple of weeks ago...

the bad news: no major activity for them to see...

the good news: it looked a lot better than the one i had done 3 years ago...

*shrug*...

so, we're making a few medicine changes (argh! the frustrating thing is having to write all the shit out for each day cuz ya can't just start or stop a med, you have to slowly increase/decrease the dosages) and proceeding with the surgical evaluation - 3 tests next tuesday!

meanwhile my sleep patterns are fucked up and i need to talk to the shrink cuz the sonata's too damned expensive at $40 a prescription...drugs drugs drugs!!!

pretty obvious...

think it's pretty obvious by that last blog entry that lori's hit another bump in the road as far as the depression goes...entirely too much shit going on in my life that's bumming me out and i'm not handling it as well as i have been in the past few weeks...time for a meds change? dunno, might hafta see if i can get in to see the shrink earlier than my next scheduled appt. *sigh*

i'm sorry...

my very essence can be distilled down to those two words: i'm sorry. it's true in a variety of ways - apologetic, pathetic, melancholy, inadequate...

i'm sorry (in the apologetic way) to the people in my life, friends and family, that have had to put up with my crap - my plethora of problems, failings and shortcomings...wish i could just snap my fingers and make everything better or at least erase all the hurt/dissapointment/anger i've caused people, but it ain't gonna happen, and for that i'm truly sorry...

more on the other ways that i'm sorry later...