just got back from the neurologist - i'm even more scared now, i think. he needs more tests, obviously. said that the amnesia and personality changes sound more like a sleep disorder than being seizure-related...mentioned sleep apnea as a possibility. shit. thanks mom. so i need a bunch of blood tests (B-12 and sodium levels - if they're too low, that can affect my seizure threshold) and he wants a sleep study and a video EEG - i'd have to spend a few days in the hospital for that. he wasn't happy when i told him about my fucked up work schedule and asked if i could change that. i don't know if that's a possibility or not. maybe 4 10 hour days? oh hell, i don't know what this will end up meaning. it's scary as hell though. seems as though i'm getting all the stuff mom has, only 20 years sooner. *sigh*

starting to feel a bit more human after a nice little 3 hour nap - getting to work early sucked. the meeting was with a woman from Primerica to talk to us about financial planning...er, i'd have some finances to plan if the trader would gimme a nice little raise this year...it does make me think about bumping up the contribution to my 401k though...

i almost cracked up in the meeting...so, we got a little overview of the company, then the lady told us what she'd do for us individually, providing a personal financial analysis, blah blah blah...so she says, "when we do your analysis..." but that's not what i heard - not what cheryl heard either, for that matter, cuz i could hear her chuckle behind me...we heard "when we do urinanalysis..." - i instantly thought 'i ain't peeing in a cup for this!'...*8-)

so, glenn was totally wedged up this woman's ass too, and i went off on him - i asked her a question and he started to answer and i glared at him, pointed at him and told him to be quiet, i didn't ask him. think i was speaking for everyone in the room, he was getting on EVERYBODY's nerves...

very unfortunate i didn't hit that powerball last week...

current discussion topic: sick pets...dogs with brain tumors, putting animals to sleep, et al...er, what the hell? is there a full moon out or something? i work with a bunch of weirdos...of course, i fit right in...

amazing the 2am conversation topics we have here at work - tonight: Potted Meat -- apparently clare had some at her desk - people really eat this stuff? i remember dave barry's column of long ago about the stuff - yich! ingredients include: Mechanically Separated Chicken, Beef Tripe, Partially Defatted Cooked Beef Fatty Tissue, Beef Hearts, Water, Partially Defatted Cooked Pork Fatty Tissue, Salt. Less than 2 percent: Mustard, Natural Flavorings, Dried Garlic, Dextrose, Sodium Erythorbate, Sodium Nitrite. i suppose it's good that someone out there's eating this stuff - less going to waste and all, but...can it really be considered food?!?

those 5:42am blahs....*blah*....tired of working, tired of being here, just tired in general...

busy week ahead...we've got some bullshit masturbatory - er, mandatory - meeting wednesday at 4pm - what a crock of shit! hafta come into work 2 hours early for some HR meeting...and with the labor day holiday happening, we're working a 12 hr shift friday, which is normally a day off...yeah, we get sunday and monday off, but it still sucks to have everything turned upside down...

whine, whine, bitch, moan, complain...

weird ass mah jongg night...we belatedly celebrated greg's birthday...he's sick but refuses to see a doc or even take drugs for it...so he's cranky, and dale's cranky cuz greg insists on being cranky, and i was still cranky about the wreck...but we still ate chinese food and played mah jongg...think we all had improved moods by the end of the night...

i skipped lesbo games night last night cuz i was feeling weird - probably for the best, i think i had another seizure...not a bad one, thankfully...i've kept it to myself though - don't want mom worrying about me more than she already does...