just woke up...scared to turn on the TV - what's happened now? it's just such a mind-numbing situation - there aren't adequate words to express the confusion, the fear, the sadness...

one of the images on the tv that really blew me away was of the American flag - flying upside down. and it's completely appropriate, we are in a state of dire distress. *8-(

what a surreal day...9/11/01 - the bombing of the world trade center buildings and the pentagon...*sigh* why? it's so senseless. international terrorism? things are pointing that way, but that's also what they said when mcveigh bombed oklahoma...there've been lots of comparisons to pearl harbor, but that was a MILITARY action - these people killed tuesday were innocents, not a thing to do with whatever conflict the enemy - whoever that is - has with the united states government...weird watching the news - they report something, then retract it a few minutes later...it's so fucking confusing. bush says the terrorists and whoever harbors them will pay - what if it's US that's been harboring them? is it osama bin laden? deep down, that's my suspicion. right now they're saying the hijackers didn't have guns, they just used ceramic knives and shaving kits to threaten people on the plane - can this really be?!? how is this going to change our system of national security? it's all just such a confusing, painful experience.

*yawn* i'm tired, and of course this fucking night is going S L O W E R than mole asses. in trying to make my sleep schedule more consistent, i seem to have fucked it up even more...slept too much friday, then not enough yesterday and today...so now i'm tired and i'll go home and sleep, only to fuck up my schedule even more. grrr...

paige had a soccer game today - 'lil #22 didn't score any goals, but her team did win 1-0...karen, the ex-stepmonster, irked the shit out of me. practically all she said the whole time was "sit down and shut up, matt"...yeah, he was a bit annoying at first, giving play by play of whatever it was he was playing on his game boy, but later on he was just standing up talking to me and adam, not being obnoxious or anything. i don't know what she's got stuck up her ass, but damn!

so pooky and i did lunch at the abbey before going to the game...i also got a copy of his latest disc, it's pretty cool...he's a good brother.