Saturday, September 18, 2004

underpants & tv shows...

i'm now the proud owner of a new pair of boxer shorts based on a fave tv show: American Chopper

today's horoscope....

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23): You're starting to see how one choice led to another to land you exactly where you are. You'll probably scrutinize a relationship sideways, backward and upside down.

yeah, sure. story of my life. hell, they could run this horoscope every friggin' day and it'd be 100% accurate for me.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

ativan - yummy!

i must say, ativan's a spiffy drug. prior to today, my most recent experience with an MRI machine left me this close I--I to a complete and total freakout. to avoid that, we had a dose of meds prior to today's tests, and i think they helped greatly. i haven't generally had severe claustrophobia in the past, but the MRI and similar machines that they like to cram the fat girls into and then leave the room while they turn on to make loud noises and shake seem to have awakened something in me, something that didn't like being awoken. so now we put it back to sleep with ativan.

got to the doc's office at 8:30, to get the vagus nerve stimulator turned off (seems the VNS and the MRI don't like each other too much) 9am was MRI time! The Interictal SPECT (Single-photon emission computed tomography - as if you didn't already know that!) was at 11am. and 2pm was the PET scan. the weeklong video EEG is scheduled for october and i don't yet have a date on when they're doing the neuropsych evaluation stuff. if all the tests give them the appropriate answers, they'll go in and carve out the fucked-up part of my brain that's causing my seizures (just the seizure-causing part - if they took all the fucked-up parts, there wouldn't be any left!!)

dunno when i'll get the results of tests they did today, but at least the tests themselves are done...

Monday, September 13, 2004

crumbling...

that seems to be the word that describes how things feel around me - feels as though everything around me's crumbling. and, silly me, i go to a friend, hoping for some friendship, and get told i'm "emotionally needy" - ummm, yeah. didn't seem to be such a big issue when the roles were reversed.

argh.

life sucks.