being poor sucks...

i've begun the process of applying for disability medicaid and social security disability - it's depressing as hell. my situation's so bleak that they're getting me on the food stamps program beginning next week. i suppose that'll help a bit, but the medicaid is what's really needed - paying the cobra premiums on my health insurance has killed me - almost $400 a month just to maintain my health insurance. but if i didn't do that, i'd REALLY be screwed...add to that about $200 a month minimum for prescriptions and doctor copays and it's obvious that it's hard to get by on $0 income.

i hate asking for help, i really do - i'm the one supposed to be out there helping others.

oh well, now i'm off to the endocrinologist's office...

*yawn*

not sure what's going on, if it's a side effect of the Klonopin or stress or what, but i'm wide awake right now, been that way since 5:30am - not good when i didn't get to sleep till midnight. another thing that makes me wonder if it's the drugs is that i've been really forgetful since we upped the dose - i sit down to the computer and forget what i was going to do, or go out to the car to get something and forget what it was i wanted. i've also managed to lose mom's cell phone - she's not as freaked about it as i am.

dinnertime...

Cheeseburger Macaroni Hamburger Helper is food of the gods!!!

*8-)

dunno...

don't know if it's the new cocktail of drugs or all the psycho stuff i'm going through (perhaps a combo of both?), but i seem to be having lots more vivid dreams lately, and have been able to remember more of them...

shouldn't have told adam about the dream i had of him dying - he's flying to LA this weekend...now he doesn't wanna get on the plane.

dammit, i was gonna blog about the dream i just awoke from, now i can't remember what the hell it was about...it's far too easy to say "woah, there's no way i'll forget that one" and then ten minutes later, it's gone...suppose i'll keep my journal (the one in book form, since i don't have a notebook PC) by the bed...

the weekend...

...consisted mainly of helping kat move into her new apartment - couldn't be as helpful as i wanted, since my wrist is still pretty damned weak (and occasionally painful) but we got all the shit moved eventually...makes me realize how damned lucky i was to have josh and steve help me move back in to mom's place - moving sucks.

on sunday, mom and i met up with joanie to get tips on applying for social security disability and such...ugh. the whole process is just so freaking overwhelming - i think even sane people would go crazy doing this shit...

Partial - Day Ten...

well, Week 3 of life in the looney bin started out with a bang...lots of conflict going on, lots of people in crisis...amazing how physically and emotionally draining it can be to sit around and talk for six hours...

lyrics of the day...

i'm not making a joke
you know me i take everything so seriously
if we wait for the time
till all souls get it right
then at least i know there'll be
no nuclear annihilation in my lifetime
i'm still not right
~"Galileo", Indigo Girls