well FUCK. clara's hubby john needs back surgery and will probably be in recovery for 6 weeks or so - so now she's not sure she'll be able to come visit in august. she said perhaps she can visit some time after that, but i want her here in AUGUST for the Jimmy Buffett concert!! argh, perhaps it's a bit selfish on my part - it's obviously pretty serious if he's gonna take over a month to recover - but i was really looking forward to the concert. i guess it's not totally off just yet, perhaps she'll know more after the doc's visit on tuesday.

major bummer. *8-(

thank god for free email sites!

so, do you agree that bush's Operation Tips plan is a complete crock of shit? well, now you can rat out those people that are ratting everyone else out - Operation TIPS-TIPS: Report TIPS informants. ;-)

ben franklin had it right - "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."

we're getting closer and closer to becoming a police state and it's all just a crock of shit.

what does Hello Kitty say about you psychologically?

apparently, i "easily feel stressful" and could remedy this with exercise and karaoke.

karaoke?!?!? i think that would INDUCE stress - me singing in a public arena? not to mention the poor eardrums of anyone in listening distance...

obviously someone not totally fluent in english made this site...for more japanese english, aka engrish, check out www.engrish.com...

woah. very vivid dreams today.

is it a bad thing when you dream your office building is burning down and you're happy about it?

perhaps this weekend i'll make it down to the outlet mall in edinburgh - i think they've got new stuff down there since the place was bought out...

i just love headlines...

ugh, time to clean out the emailbox - damned thing's filling up...

so, every once in a while i find a website or something i wanna check out...so i email the url to myself and then forget all about it...the following are some examples - wonder how many of these sites don't exist any more...

http://www.antibloggies.com/

http://www.trailertrashfamily.com/

http://live.curry.com/stories/2002/02/19/bloggingTuneOutAndSwitchOn.html

http://live.curry.com/

http://www.weblogs.com/

http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1443958/20010522/story.jhtml

http://www.songtitle.info/

http://www.modestneeds.org/

http://home.swipnet.se/mooamp/wallpapers.html

http://www.holisticonline.com/stress/stress_home.htm

http://www.frontiernet.net/~cdm/age1.html

so, what's your Glam Rock Superstar name?

I'm Diamond Freak. no, really. *8-)

time for a little poetry...

can't say i've read any walt whitman before (yowza, hope they don't revoke my queerness for that) but clara posted to the list with a subj line of "Icing the Body Electric"...i knew that "I Sing the Body Electric" was a poem of whitman's, but i'd never read it before...and now you can share it with me!

I Sing the Body Electric
Walt Whitman
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1
I sing the body electric,
The armies of those I love engirth me and I engirth them,
They will not let me off till I go with them, respond to them,
And discorrupt them, and charge them full with the charge of the soul.

Was it doubted that those who corrupt their own bodies conceal themselves?
And if those who defile the living are as bad as they who defile the dead?
And if the body does not do fully as much as the soul? And if the body
were not the soul, what is the soul?


2
The love of the body of man or woman balks account, the body itself
balks account,
That of the male is perfect, and that of the female is perfect.

The expression of the face balks account,
But the expression of a well-made man appears not only in his face,
It is in his limbs and joints also, it is curiously in the joints of
his hips and wrists,
It is in his walk, the carriage of his neck, the flex of his waist
and knees, dress does not hide him,
The strong sweet quality he has strikes through the cotton and broadcloth,
To see him pass conveys as much as the best poem, perhaps more,
You linger to see his back, and the back of his neck and shoulder-side.

The sprawl and fulness of babes, the bosoms and heads of women, the
folds of their dress, their style as we pass in the street, the
contour of their shape downwards,
The swimmer naked in the swimming-bath, seen as he swims through
the transparent green-shine, or lies with his face up and rolls
silently to and from the heave of the water,
The bending forward and backward of rowers in row-boats, the
horse-man in his saddle,
Girls, mothers, house-keepers, in all their performances,
The group of laborers seated at noon-time with their open
dinner-kettles, and their wives waiting,
The female soothing a child, the farmer's daughter in the garden or
cow-yard,
The young fellow hosing corn, the sleigh-driver driving his six
horses through the crowd,
The wrestle of wrestlers, two apprentice-boys, quite grown, lusty,
good-natured, native-born, out on the vacant lot at sundown
after work,
The coats and caps thrown down, the embrace of love and resistance,
The upper-hold and under-hold, the hair rumpled over and blinding the eyes;
The march of firemen in their own costumes, the play of masculine
muscle through clean-setting trowsers and waist-straps,
The slow return from the fire, the pause when the bell strikes
suddenly again, and the listening on the alert,
The natural, perfect, varied attitudes, the bent head, the curv'd
neck and the counting;
Such-like I love--I loosen myself, pass freely, am at the mother's
breast with the little child,
Swim with the swimmers, wrestle with wrestlers, march in line with
the firemen, and pause, listen, count.


3
I knew a man, a common farmer, the father of five sons,
And in them the fathers of sons, and in them the fathers of sons.

This man was a wonderful vigor, calmness, beauty of person,
The shape of his head, the pale yellow and white of his hair and
beard, the immeasurable meaning of his black eyes, the richness
and breadth of his manners,
These I used to go and visit him to see, he was wise also,
He was six feet tall, he was over eighty years old, his sons were
massive, clean, bearded, tan-faced, handsome,
They and his daughters loved him, all who saw him loved him,
They did not love him by allowance, they loved him with personal
love,
He drank water only, the blood show'd like scarlet through the
clear-brown skin of his face,
He was a frequent gunner and fisher, he sail'd his boat himself, he
had a fine one presented to him by a ship-joiner, he had
fowling-pieces presented to him by men that loved him,
When he went with his five sons and many grand-sons to hunt or fish,
you would pick him out as the most beautiful and vigorous of
the gang,
You would wish long and long to be with him, you would wish to sit
by him in the boat that you and he might touch each other.


4
I have perceiv'd that to be with those I like is enough,
To stop in company with the rest at evening is enough,
To be surrounded by beautiful, curious, breathing, laughing flesh is enough,
To pass among them or touch any one, or rest my arm ever so lightly round
his or her neck for a moment, what is this then?
I do not ask any more delight, I
swim in it as in a sea.
There is something in staying close to men and women and looking on them,
and in the contact and odor of them, that pleases the soul well,
All things please the soul, but these please the soul well.


5
This is the female form,
A divine nimbus exhales from it from head to foot,
It attracts with fierce undeniable attraction,
I am drawn by its breath as if I were no more than a helpless vapor,
all falls aside but myself and it,
Books, art, religion, time, the visible and solid earth, and what
was expected of heaven or fear'd of hell, are now consumed,
Mad filaments, ungovernable shoots play out of it, the response
likewise ungovernable,
Hair, bosom, hips, bend of legs, negligent falling hands all
diffused, mine too diffused,
Ebb stung by the flow and flow stung by the ebb, love-flesh swelling
and deliciously aching,
Limitless limpid jets of love hot and enormous, quivering jelly of
love, white-blow and delirious nice,
Bridegroom night of love working surely and softly into the
prostrate dawn,
Undulating into the willing and yielding day,
Lost in the cleave of the clasping and sweet-flesh'd day.

This the nucleus--after the child is born of woman, man is born
of woman,
This the bath of birth, this the merge of small and large, and the
outlet again.

Be not ashamed women, your privilege encloses the rest, and is the
exit of the rest,
You are the gates of the body, and you are the gates of the soul.

The female contains all qualities and tempers them,
She is in her place and moves with perfect balance,
She is all things duly veil'd, she is both passive and active,
She is to conceive daughters as well as sons, and sons as well as
daughters.

As I see my soul reflected in Nature,
As I see through a mist, One with inexpressible completeness,
sanity, beauty,
See the bent head and arms folded over the breast, the Female I see.


6
The male is not less the soul nor more, he too is in his place,
He too is all qualities, he is action and power,
The flush of the known universe is in him,
Scorn becomes him well, and appetite and defiance become him well,
The wildest largest passions, bliss that is utmost, sorrow that is
utmost become him well, pride is for him,
The full-spread pride of man is calming and excellent to the soul,
Knowledge becomes him, he likes it always, he brings every thing to
the test of himself,
Whatever the survey, whatever the sea and the sail he strikes
soundings at last only here,
(Where else does he strike soundings except here?)

The man's body is sacred and the woman's body is sacred,
No matter who it is, it is sacred--is it the meanest one in the
laborers' gang?
Is it one of the dull-faced immigrants just landed on the wharf?
Each belongs here or anywhere just as much as the well-off, just as
much as you,
Each has his or her place in the procession.

(All is a procession,
The universe is a procession with measured and perfect motion.)

Do you know so much yourself that you call the meanest ignorant?
Do you suppose you have a right to a good sight, and he or she has
no right to a sight?
Do you think matter has cohered together from its diffuse float, and
the soil is on the surface, and water runs and vegetation sprouts,
For you only, and not for him and her?


7
A man's body at auction,
(For before the war I often go to the slave-mart and watch the sale,)
I help the auctioneer, the sloven does not half know his business.

Gentlemen look on this wonder,
Whatever the bids of the bidders they cannot be high enough for it,
For it the globe lay preparing quintillions of years without one animal or plant,
For it the revolving cycles truly and steadily roll'd.

In this head the all-baffling brain,
In it and below it the makings of heroes.

Examine these limbs, red, black, or white, they are cunning in tendon and nerve,
They shall be stript that you may see them.
Exquisite senses, life-lit eyes, pluck, volition,
Flakes of breast-muscle, pliant backbone and neck, flesh not flabby, good-sized
arms and legs,
And wonders within there yet.

Within there runs blood,
The same old blood! the same red-running blood!
There swells and jets a heart, there all passions, desires, reachings,
aspirations,
(Do you think they are not there because they are not express'd in
parlors and lecture-rooms?)

This is not only one man, this the father of those who shall be fathers
in their turns,
In him the start of populous states and rich republics,
Of him countless immortal lives with countless embodiments and enjoyments.

How do you know who shall come from the offspring of his offspring
through the centuries?
(Who might you find you have come from yourself, if you could trace
back through the centuries?)


8
A woman's body at auction,
She too is not only herself, she is the teeming mother of mothers,
She is the bearer of them that shall grow and be mates to the mothers.

Have you ever loved the body of a woman?
Have you ever loved the body of a man?
Do you not see that these are exactly the same to all in all nations and
times all over the earth?

If any thing is sacred the human body is sacred,
And the glory and sweet of a man is the token of manhood untainted,
And in man or woman a clean, strong, firm-fibred body, is more beautiful
than the most beautiful face.
Have you seen the fool that corrupted his own live body? or the fool
that corrupted her own live body?
For they do not conceal themselves, and cannot conceal themselves.


9
O my body! I dare not desert the likes of you in other men and women,
nor the likes of the parts of you,
I believe the likes of you are to stand or fall with the likes of the
soul, (and that they are the soul,)
I believe the likes of you shall stand or fall with my poems, and
that they are my poems,
Man's, woman's, child, youth's, wife's, husband's, mother's,
father's, young man's, young woman's poems,
Head, neck, hair, ears, drop and tympan of the ears,
Eyes, eye-fringes, iris of the eye, eyebrows, and the waking or
sleeping of the lids,
Mouth, tongue, lips, teeth, roof of the mouth, jaws, and the
jaw-hinges,
Nose, nostrils of the nose, and the partition,
Cheeks, temples, forehead, chin, throat, back of the neck, neck-slue,
Strong shoulders, manly beard, scapula, hind-shoulders, and the
ample side-round of the chest,
Upper-arm, armpit, elbow-socket, lower-arm, arm-sinews, arm-bones,
Wrist and wrist-joints, hand, palm, knuckles, thumb, forefinger,
finger-joints, finger-nails,
Broad breast-front, curling hair of the breast, breast-bone, breast-side,
Ribs, belly, backbone, joints of the backbone,
Hips, hip-sockets, hip-strength, inward and outward round, man-balls, man-root,
Strong set of thighs, well carrying the trunk above,
Leg-fibres, knee, knee-pan, upper-leg, under-leg,
Ankles, instep, foot-ball, toes, toe-joints, the heel;
All attitudes, all the shapeliness, all the belongings of my or your body
or of any one's body, male or female,
The lung-sponges, the stomach-sac, the bowels sweet and clean,
The brain in its folds inside the skull-frame,
Sympathies, heart-valves, palate-valves, sexuality, maternity,
Womanhood, and all that is a woman, and the man that comes from woman,
The womb, the teats, nipples, breast-milk, tears, laughter, weeping,
love-looks, love-perturbations and risings,
The voice, articulation, language, whispering, shouting aloud,
Food, drink, pulse, digestion, sweat, sleep, walking, swimming,
Poise on the hips, leaping, reclining, embracing, arm-curving and
tightening,
The continual changes of the flex of the mouth, and around the eyes,
The skin, the sunburnt shade, freckles, hair,
The curious sympathy one feels when feeling with the hand the naked
meat of the body,
The circling rivers the breath, and breathing it in and out,
The beauty of the waist, and thence of the hips, and thence downward
toward the knees,
The thin red jellies within you or within me, the bones and the
marrow in the bones,
The exquisite realization of health;
O I say these are not the parts and poems of the body only, but of
the soul,
O I say now these are the soul!

feeling a bit shaky right now - paul, the daytime proofreader, snuck up behind me and whispered into my ear "get to work!" - had no clue he was behind me, and it scared the hell out of me...i screamed and freaked a bit...i think he felt worse about it than me - i told him that scaring the epileptic is NOT a good idea.

in other news, i just dropped a hundred bucks at the pharmacy on prescriptions. sad thing is, is was only about half of what i typically take...*sigh*

lori got a router! now i just hafta get the little bugger hooked up to mom's computer, get the other doohickey plugged into my usb port, then VIOLA - i'm using mommy's cable modem! whoo hoo!

thought for today:

Carpe Genitalia!

hee hee hee. *8-)

nope, it wasn't an original lori thought...i was on unamerican.com - srini's a cool dude, man...

other cool stickers from his site: DSL is LSD backwards • Satan works for me now • Stop fucking swearing • Who would Jesus do?

damn, it's amazing the stuff you can have done with pix from the digital camera these days (or those old-fashioned prints, for that matter) - www.clubphoto.com can put your pic on the standard stuff, like mousepads and coffee mugs, but also cookies or lollipops or all sorts of other funky stuff...

my sea monkeys are thriving! damn, they're itty bitty tho! haven't decided on names yet....

picked up a couple of books that i'd put on hold at the library...i see books in the QPB catalog that look cool and then just end up checking them out instead of buying them from the book club - tis a good source for finding interesting reading material...

so, anyways...an internet buddy mentioned that "Dr. Bernstein's Diabetes solution : a complete guide to achieving normal blood sugars" by Richard Bernstein was a must read....i've poked around in it a bit, but not gotten into it because i'm currently hooked on the other book i checked out this week - "Word freak : heartbreak, triumph, genius, and obsession in the world of competitive scrabble players" by Stefan Fatsis. in this book, the emphasis is definitely on the word FREAK - there's a whole subculture of people playing scrabble competitively, and they're certainly a group of colorful personalities. i forgot how much i liked playing scrabble as a kid, and knowing that mom's at-home internet time lately has consisted of word puzzles, i figured i'd go get a board and give it a go again. we had a lot of fun with it!

also in my purchases today - The Sea Monkeys Ocean Of Fun! i'm not sure how i ended up there - a link on fark, perhaps? - but i ended up on www.sea-monkeys.com earlier this week, and i was amazed...so now i'm gonna try to be a breeder - of Sea Monkeys, that is! *8-)

hrm....scrabble...sea monkeys...am i regressing?!? naah, don't think so, just trying to chill out a bit and not be so uptight...

so, i got an email from Bia a while back, who'd stumbled upon my blog and liked it...i asked her what her blog address was - she told me it was in portugese. knowing absolutely no portugese, i thought i'd run some of it through freetranslation.com - scary! i don't think what they told me she said was anywhere near what she said... "I am happy. I have faucet." ?!? or maybe she is happy about having a faucet...*shrug*

alrighty, got that Far Side cartoon scanned that i mentioned on 6/30...yup, definitely gonna give it to the therapist...*8-)

"I pledge allegiance to and wrap myself in the flag of the United States
Against Anything Un-American and to the Republicans for which it stands,
two nations, under Jesus, rich against poor, with curtailed liberty and
justice for all except blacks, homosexuals, women who want abortions,
Communists, welfare queens, treehuggers, feminazis, illegal immigrants,
children of illegal immigrants, and you if you don't watch your step."

~ Matt Groening, "Life in Hell", 16 Dec 94

(yowza - wonder what Groening would think if he knew in '94 how things were going to be now in '02....)

then there's the more lighthearted version, from "School Is Hell" -

"I plead alignment to the flakes of the untitled snakes of a merry cow,
And to the Republicans for which we scam, one nacho, underpants,
With licorice and jugs of wine for owls."

Click my name to see me as a South Park Character...Lori

took that dateline stress quiz - i scored a 720, which means i "run a medium risk of stress-related illness"...they underestimate me! *8-)

can i just say - i love google!!! apparently, that's how josh riley found me! (hi Josh!!!) i got an email from him last week - it's brought back quite a few earlham memories...sheesh, it seems like so long ago, and yet it doesn't....

so, i'm on an internet list with jo, who's pregnant - her due date's july 25 - and i suggested we throw her an online baby shower...now she's registered at amazon...i just hope our list buddies also contribute - it's been really cool reading her posts throughout her pregnancy, particularly since i know i won't be going out and getting knocked up! *8-) it's amazing the baby stuff that's out there - i never knew there was a John Lennon collection of baby stuff, featuring his drawings of animals and such!

David Naess has a cool site with an article titled "The Vagus Nerve Stimulator (NCP)
From A Patient's Point Of View" - sounds like it didn't really work for him in the long run, but he still has lots of info on the site for people looking into it...

the cartoon for the day in my gary larson far side calendar cracked me up - i'll have to scan it in at some point. it's from the point of view of a guy at his therapist, and the guy's holding a couple of inkblots. the caption reads, "It's just a simple Rorschach ink-blot test, Mr. Bromwell, so just calm down and tell me what each one suggests to you." well, the ink blots very clearly resemble the guy choking the therapist and such. it's much funnier if you actually see it, i suppose, and i think it's particularly funny to me cuz i've just recently started therapy...i'm gonna give a copy of it to Sheron at my next appointment. *8-)

aha! i found the original link for the Venn Diagram showing "Times When I Am Truly Happy / Times When I Am Wearing Pants" - oh, that is SOOOOO me!

interesting slate article re: the pledge of allegiance...i must say, i totally agree with the recent court ruling that says the pledge, with it's "one nation under God" is a violation of church and state. the original plege didn't have these words - they were plugged in by Eisenhower back in the days of McCarthyism!

Francis Bellamy wrote the original pledge: "I pledge allegiance to my flag and the republic for which it stands, one nation indivisible, with liberty and justice for all." - quite a bit different from the one we recited back in the days of our youth! hell, it didn't even name the United States! actually, forcing kids to pledge any sort of allegiance to anything seems wrong anyways.

the topic came up at work today, and it made me a bit uncomfortable. i seem to be in the minority of people that think the recent ruling is right and good. the point was made that kids didn't have to say "under god" or recite the pledge at all - but they're still being put in an inappropriate position, i think! you either refuse to say it and become an outcast or weirdo in the eyes of your peers, or you go along with the herd and say something you don't really mean - just what the hell does that have to do with a good education anyways?!? perhaps the alternate pledge is better: "I plead alignment to the flakes, of the untitled snakes of a merry cow. And to the Republicans for which they scam, one nacho, underpants, with licorice and jugs of wine for owls."

it also seems stupid to have "in god we trust" on our money - how in the hell can this coincide with the separation of church and state?!?!?

current workplace discussion topic - the song "We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off" by Jermaine Stewart...now there's a one hit wonder for ya!

the neurologist yesterday suggested the possibility of a Vagus Nerve Stimulator - certainly something to look into....webmd has a few stories about it as well...

hrmm, a quiz to take later - Dateline's stress test...

hrmmm, i think the writer of this one knows a few of my acquaintances....

35 politically correct ways to say someone is stupid

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

A few clowns short of a circus.

A few fries short of a Happy Meal.

An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.

A few beers short of a six-pack.

Dumber than a box of hair.

A few peas short of a casserole.

Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box.

The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.

One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.

One taco short of a combination plate.

A few feathers short of a whole duck.

All foam, no beer.

The cheese slid off his cracker.

Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.

Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.

Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.

As smart as bait.

Chimney's clogged.

Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.

Doesn't know much but leads the league in nostril hair.

Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.

Her sewing machine's out of thread.

His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.

His belt doesn't go through all the loops.

If he had another brain, it would be lonely.

Missing a few buttons on his remote control.

No grain in the silo.

Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.

Receiver is off the hook.

Several nuts short of a full pouch.

Skylight leaks a little.

Slinky's kinked.

Surfing in Nebraska.

Too much yardage between the goal posts.

In the pinball game of life, his flippers were a little further apart than most.

hee hee hee - Things you WON'T see on Hallmark Cards :

OUTSIDE: As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
INSIDE: That you're not here to ruin it for me.

OUTSIDE: If I get only one thing for Christmas...
INSIDE: I hope it's your sister.

OUTSIDE: I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.
INSIDE: After having met you, I've changed my mind.

OUTSIDE: I must admit, you brought religion into my life.
INSIDE: I never believed in hell 'til I met you.

OUTSIDE: Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder...
INSIDE: What the fuck was I thinking?

OUTSIDE: I always wanted to be rich, powerful and well-respected.
INSIDE: And while I'm dreaming, I wish you weren't so damn ugly.

OUTSIDE: Sex with you is like using drugs:
INSIDE: Lots of people do it, but nobody's stupid enough to admit it.

OUTSIDE: When we were together, you always said you'd die for me.
INSIDE: Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise.

OUTSIDE: The holidays are a great time to be with family.
INSIDE: Of course, your family won't be with you, since I'm taking the kids and moving in with my sister, you cheating bastard!

OUTSIDE: I'm so miserable without you...
INSIDE: It's almost like you're here.

OUTSIDE: If you ever need a friend...
INSIDE: Buy a dog.

OUTSIDE: Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
INSIDE: Did you ever find out who the father was?

another link regarding vanity licence plates - a lot of these relate to the cars that they're on - particularly amusing is:
"ALICE" on the white VW rabbit
"9FOFO" on the porsche 944
"AU YLOKS" aka Goldilocks
"IMYY4U" - i am too wise for you

hrm - ever wonder if a celebrity was dead or alive? go to http://www.dead-or-alive.org/

so, i'm putzing around on the web and looking for info on danny hutton hitters, the group that did "wouldn't it be good" for the pretty in pink soundtrack - damn that's a good song!! well, guess what? it's not even their song - it's a remake! it's actually a song by nik kershaw - so then it's off to kazaa to hear the original, as well as a few other remakes by kershaw himself...actually, i think i like the danny hutton hitters version better...it's a bit perkier, i think, and provides a good contrast to the depressing lyrics

so now i'm thinking my next mix cd will be "as good as, if not better" - songs that are remakes that are good in their own right! it might be hard to come up with a whole disc of songs of this type, then again, it might not be...*ponder*

god bless the world wide web - you really CAN do anything here...including calculating your blood alcohol content...just go to rupissed.com and type in the numbers...

the smoking gun has some funny files of people offended by personalized license plates - florida and wisconsin in particular

i especially liked the florida plate "FUCT 24 7" (with the complainer dotting her i's with little hearts - *gag!*)

the wisconsin plate "WMWNMNW" is also particularly brilliant because of the difficulty it would cause a cop in calling it in...a subsequent comment on fark was "For the bisexual among us, WMNNMN would be appropriate (and difficult to read)."

of course, if ya can't get a vanity plate for your car, you could just make one at the acme.com licensemaker...

interesting - Famous or Distinguished Gays, Lesbians, Bisexuals: A List of Names...

bummer - ann landers died...i had no idea that her daughter, margo howard, is the advice columnist that writes "dear prudence" on slate.msn.com - not as good as her mom in the advice department, but still an interesting read...

monster's got 2184 job opps in indy (that's total jobs, not the number i'd be interested in), hotjobs.com had 600, a few dozen in the indy star - found a few potentials, guess i oughta polish up that resume...

hmmm...a random google image finder - this may come in handy when i'm having photoshopper's block....

speaking of cooters...heh heh heh...

i just may have to get clara and myself matching t-shirts from the spring cooter fest - her for her love of turtles and such, and me cuz i'm a perv and just LOVE the double entendre there...and perhaps i'll win the lottery and be able to take her there next year for the 20th annual spring cooter fest!

just got back from the gyn...yup, i've still got a vagina and they didn't run away from it screaming or anything...the doc says we might try the shot to get my periods regular (damned polycystic ovaries!!) since the pills don't seem to be doing the job...whoo hoo...gonna give it another couple of months and see if things get back to "normal"...i kind of grinned to myself during the exam - what a job Dr. McDonald has! looking at cooters all day! granted, she's probably gotta look at some nasty ones as well as the purty ones, but still...

guess i'm not the only one with a brain that's rotting away - juicycerebellum.com looks like it might be an interesting read...

showtime has put Justin & Michael's queer comic book online - i'll have to read "Rage" when i've got more time, like when i'm at work...har har har...*8-)

so, just what the hell do ya do during an earthquake? here in indiana, we never got many lessons - however, there was an earthquake in southern indiana today, measuring 4.4 to 5.0 on the richter scale....well, the Southern California Earthquake Center says the important thing to remember is DUCK, COVER and HOLD....

info from www.1uphealth.com regarding temporal lobe epilepsy:

"Temporal lobe epilepsy. Temporal lobe epilepsy, or TLE, is the most common epilepsy syndrome with partial seizures. These seizures are often associated with auras. TLE often begins in childhood. Research has shown that repeated temporal lobe seizures can cause a brain structure called the hippocampus to shrink over time.

The hippocampus is important for memory and learning. While it may take years of temporal lobe seizures for measurable hippocampal damage to occur, this finding underlines the need to treat TLE early and as effectively as possible."

well, after i went semi-postal here at work tonight, the boss suggested i might want to look into FMLA and taking a medical leave...*sigh* so, on one hand ya have the boss telling ya no, you can't take the evening off, and on the other hand she's saying maybe it'd be good if i was gone for 6 months...

it's obviously been a night to talk to Sheron about - i just soooOOOOOOOOOOoooo do not want to be here. nothing in particular's made it worse than any other night, i'm just sick and tired - literally sick and tired.

had my first appointment with Sheron today - she's actually a LCSW, not a psychiatrist. lots of paperwork and such to get out of the way this first visit.

damn, ya really CAN do anything on the internet!!

wanna dump somebody? http://www.igotdumped.net/

need a Venn Diagram? http://www.venndiagram.com/

15

I act like I'm 15.
This test was brought to you by Melissa - No, really.... Take it here.

The Mirror Project is a pretty interesting website...

dogs on the web - can police dogs be trained to be racist? interesting question....now, just because the damned dog's been taught to bust non-whites doesn't seem like a good reason to KILL him - just don't use him as a police dog...

and if your dog's gay, check out A.S.S.....

more weird dreams today - very vivid, though i'm rapidly forgetting details...patti was very prevalent in this one, and we were all at work, except it wasn't at ol' exit 5 parkway - we were in a little schoolhouse or a church or something...nobody wanted to do any work - i was the only one doing anything...

*shrug*

cool - make your own south park character!

hmmm, the Cannabis As Living Medicine website disucsses pot and epilepsy -

"Treating Epilepsy with Marijuana

Some people with grand mal seizures say they can prevent their seizures entirely by smoking marijuana. Others, who suffer complex partial seizures, report that marijuana also curbs their symptoms and prevents loss of consciousness. Marijuana is not considered useful for treating petit mal or absence seizures and may even worsen them.

Some patients find that marijuana works in conjunction with other drugs they are taking. Others find that marijuana works best for them when it is used without other drugs. Either way, these epileptic patients have made marijuana a necessary part of their medical treatment.

People using marijuana to control epilepsy should be aware that withdrawal from any medication that controls seizures may leave you more susceptible to the seizures. Marijuana is no exception. Patients with epilepsy are advised to exercise caution when using oral THC because there is not sufficient knowledge about the convulsive or anti-convulsive properties of the single compound."

another page with pros and cons is at www.marijuanainfo.org

been doing some research on the epilepsy and related stuff from my last trip to the hospital:

eMedicine's article on status epilepticus had some interesting points - "In the US: Approximately 50,000-200,000 cases of status epilepticus occur per year (using traditional epidemiologic definitions). The overall mortality rate is about 20%" - holy shit, my life was seriously at risk there...

another interesting comment was "Psychogenic seizures may, at times, be indistinguishable from GCSE by appearance alone." i suppose this is why i've been set up with the psychiatrist, to make sure it's not a psychological thing, though i doubt it is since they've seen activity on the EEG...

neal suggested marijuana for treating my seizures (big surprise there, eh?) but Discovery Health says "individuals can lower their risk of seizures by: · avoiding excess alcohol · avoiding illegal drugs, especially marijuana and cocaine" - don't think i'll be rolling one anytime soon...

Find your emotion!

You are 40% evil! [?]

You're more good than evil, but not by much. You've drank straight from the carton of milk in the refrigerator, and maybe kicked the neighbor's cat, but you're still good. Kinda.

How Gay Are YOU? [?]

hrm, haven't figured out how it came up with that number, i'd say i'm more than 70% lesbonian....

Which Kiss Are You?

You're GLUTTONY! Food is good. You love to stuff yourself, and you may become over weight, if you already aren't. You like to endulge. You're represented by the color orange.

wow, big suprise there...

_E_ndulge?!? don't people proofread their shit anymore these days?!?

a few links regarding the gamma knife thang:

http://www.medicine.indiana.edu/

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2002/06/020605073153.htm

http://www.irsa.org/publications/BrainTalkV6_2.pdf

http://www.iupui.edu/~neurosur/GammaKnife.html

http://www.clarian.org/clinical/gammaknife/index.jhtml?print=true

went to work today, but i'm still not quite right in the head - damn, that was a bad seizure. and i'm not going to get stressed about the fact that cheryl's on vacation this week - teressa can do some of the fucking covers. i guess i pissed her off by telling her not to send non-work-related emails to my work email, but instead to send them to my crapmail.com account - i think it's fucking ridiculous that the damned department supervisor sends out chain letters and shit at work. oh well.

a few interesting links:

how stuff works has an article on how mri works...

cdcovers.cc has over 90,000 album covers you can download for cds ya burn...

book crossing.com encourages ya to leave books lying around for people to pick up and read - you can see where your books end up by going to the website...

rxlist.com has a list of the top 200 prescriptions given out...

this is REALLY frustrating - i'm still not back to "normal"...i'm still having problems communicating - the words just aren't there...i probably shouldn't go back to work tomorrow, but i can't really afford not to either...

the indy star had an article on the front page of the paper today about a new kind of surgery for epilepsy. they use gamma radiation instead of a knife. the idea of surgery terrifies me, but i really can' t be having seizures like this last one - it was _BAD_.

well, i'm still recovering from a seizure i had on tuesday - spent a couple of days in the hospital. think i may switch neurologists - i like dr. mohan, but dr. diokno is pretty cool too. she says i may be a surgical candidate, which scares the hell out of me, but if it stops my seizures i suppose it'd be worth it. i'm going to see a psychiatrist next week - mom told them when she took me to the hospital how i'd been stressed with work and such lately - maybe this will help. these past few days are a blur - i can't remember going to work sunday and monday.

so, what's better? cute little website - 2 items pop up, and ya vote for which one is better...for example: Funyuns (with a pic of a Funyuns bag) vs. Lesbian Subtext (a pic from Xena...) well, of course i'm goin with the lesbians! *8-)

Which CNN personality am I?

Find out which CNN
personality YOU are!

err...okay...i guess...of course, i'm more an msnbc gal myself, don't watch much cnn...

here's another weird website - this guy posts all his walmart purchases...

think i just found my next computer...NOT!

how appropriate! the Ya-Ya Name Generator tells me my name is Princess Chocolate Lover. *8-)

woo hoo, i'm a TotalFarker now!

random pet peeve - so, the us postal service has designed these really cool stamps featuring each of the 50 states...they've got a postcard-type theme to them, each highlighting something spiffy about the state...problem is, you can only buy them in sheets of all of the 50 states. 'scuse me, i'm from indiana, why do i want to buy 50 stamps that say "Greetings From"...and only one of them's actually from the state i'm in? i don't know anybody in wyoming, and i'm not there, so why the fuck do i want a "greetings from wyoming" stamp? they oughta sell books of the individual states in addition to selling the 50 stamp sheets...

holy shit! i'm perusing the earlham website to see if i can get an update on jesse and find an article about Michael C. Hall, who graduated a year before i should've. Ya know, I always thought that guy on Six Feet Under looked familiar - hey dumbass, you went to college with him!!! perhaps i just didn't make the connection cuz he's not an uptight gay funeral director in real life...

in packing up, i found my journal from 1995 - in it i see that mid june of that year was when i went to court for the name change...almost 7 years ago...in some ways it doesn't seem that long ago, but at the same time, i feel as though i've been just plain ol' Lori Beth for longer than 7 years...back then i was soooo happy about my job at Thrifty Nickel (HA! scary to think at one point i actually did like the place!) and debating over whether or not to go back to Earlham in the fall (NOPE! didn't happen!) and muddling through my long distance relationship with Julie. sheesh, now THAT seems like a long time ago!

another trip down memory lane - looking up stuff on His Name Is Alive, i realized that the concert I went to in Chicago to see with Jesse Kahn was 9/14/96 - almost 6 years ago...what a cool concert....

went to the library today to pick up some books i'd reserved, and to return that crappy drew barrymore bio, "Little Girl Lost" - she shoulda waited a few years before writing this book, i think....didn't even finish it, that's how bad it was...

so, today i picked up:
"The adventures of Captain Underpants : an epic novel" - just hafta check it out, perhaps it'll give me something to talk with matt or paige about...

"Ani DiFranco : righteous babe" - what can i say, i've been in a biography sort of mood lately...tops on the list of late is michael j. fox's autobiography...

"Lies across America : what our historic sites get wrong" - one of those in the QPB catalog that looks interesting, but i don't have the cash for it right now...

"The worlds of Nam June Paik" - this book FINALLY came in - i had it on hold at the library since september! Paik's so fucking cool...i'm thinking i might be framing some of the pages from the book i bought on ebay long ago (in a foreign language) and using that as the starting point of decorating my room...

eek, my room! i have to get back to the apartment and get more packing done - this is the weekend of the big move!

point to ponder: do chickens have nipples? i mean, ya see packages of chicken breasts in the grocery store, but ya don't ever see nipples on them breasts...do they have nipples? if so, where? if not, why not?

more vivid dreams...what's going on with my subconscious lately?!?!? it's rather cool, actually, to have dreams and be able to remember them...today's dream had me in the "er" - the television show, that is...i was working closely with dr. weaver, following her around and doing whatever she told me to do...aunt sherry was there too, as a nurse...aunt joan was there, as a patient...at some point i was puking my guts out - my pills were coming up, undigested...hrm.

ya know what sucks? i got some stuff at kroger the other day while i was at work - having a bitch of a headache and ready to claw my eyeballs out of my head cuz of some sort of allergy....when i rang up the groceries, i got $10 cash back...unfortunately, i wasn't totally aware of my account balance...so i was $5.01 short...for this the bank charges me a $28.00 overdraft fee! just so happens the next day i made a $150 deposit, as well as my regular payroll deposit going in....grrrr....one freakin day....

more weirdness in the dream department...this time i joined the navy...i reported for duty - at an elementary school of sorts - and found out i was the oldest one there...they gave me the keys to the ship (which looked remarkably like keys to a chevrolet) and told me not to lose them...when my shipmates arrived, i felt horribly out of place, far too old to be with all of these youngsters...the number 19 was very vivid in my dream as well, tho i'm not sure why....

*shrug*

i finally got an article posted to fark! people usually send the same links that i find and beat me to it or whatever, but not this time...

was a bit dismayed to see that the headline i submitted had been tinkered with - i had submitted "World's tiniest baby goes home - weighed 10 oz at birth, now weighs as much as the meat in 17.6 Quarter Pounders" - going for that math geek humor...they tacked on "although not as tasty" at the end...still funny, i guess...

cool! halcy's blogging now too!

cute link josh sent me: Boy The Bear's Age Gauge

urgh i hate moving!! and i've procrastinated about calling movers, i'll have to get on it! thecityofindianapolis.com has a page of movers, as does citysearch - i've emailed ed sherman for a quote, but i suspect it'll be too much considering it's such short notice...hell, i might hafta make bro hang on to my stuff for a week or two...

argh!

weeeeeeeiiird dreams lately...dunno what's goin on, but i've had very strange, very vivid dreams the past couple nights...last night, it was of buying a car...a used light blue volvo....bought it at a dealership, paid thousands of dollars for it - like eight grand or something...took it home (er, mom's - it's not home yet) and her brother tom was there...he mentioned he'd just sold his volvo (er, don't think he really has one in real life though)...he looked at it and said it was the one he'd just sold...when he found out i'd paid $8000 for it, he got pissed...angry as all hell...when i asked him why, he said they gave him $300 for the car...then we all stormed off to the dealership and insisted on a car that was really worth $8000...they had a saturn, with all the options, pwr moonroof, kickass stereo, and these UGLY green leather seats...the seats were horrid, but the rest of the car was good, so i took it...

what the hell's that one mean? why the hell'd i have a dream with uncle tom in it? why'd i dream of getting a volvo? why were the seats in the saturn green leather? those were the most vivid parts of the dream, i'm sure they mean something....

then tonight's dream (okay, it's technically this afternoon's dream, i guess) was about donna's wedding...it was at her parents mansion (mansion?!?) and it was this huge week-long occasion type thing, i was spending the week there with her helping her to get ready...guess that medieval dress idea was out the window, she was all gussied up in this white satin number, and was really pissed off at her dad and mom...by the time the actual wedding rolled around, donna told me she didn't need me anymore and i could leave...ouch, i was so hurt. after the wedding, there was a stockholders meeting for the trader (yeah, there at the mansion) and it was announced that everyone was being fired...but they had some consolation gifts for us...badminton sets, heads of lettuce, richard simmons videos.....at the end of the dream, i found out that donna was 5 months pregnant, and i was pissed at her cuz she hadn't told me - she hid it very very well, not telling ANYONE...she went around gloating about the fact that she was pregnant in her wedding dress and nobody noticed...


???!!!???!!!???!!!???!!!???!!!???!!!???!!!???!!!???

not a clue what the hell any of it means, but it's all been very vivid...something's goin on in this head o mine...

so, the indy 500's this weekend...i'm pulling for sarah fisher - she's a hottie! *8-)

got this msg on the list today:

~~~~~~
"For anyone interested in participating in this year's SF Pride Parade "Be Yourself, Change the World":

The SF Gay Pride parade is 5 weeks away, and the World's Biggest Vulva (which won 1st place in last year's parade) NEEDS you to make it happen this year!!!

First of all, we need help in spreading the word, (sending out to your favorite lists, egroups and friends) to gather the women of the Bay Area in solidarity of the Worlds Biggest Vulva (a beautiful 8-foot vagina float). This is about PRIDE, LOVE, and FUN.
We also need organizers, artists, help finding sponsors, performers, any thing you can think of to make the float bigger and better than last year.

Whether you are Butch, Femme, Techno, Mechanical, Bi, Curious, Horny, Hellacious, whatever... We need EVERY ONE OF YOU. Get involved, I promise you will have the time of your life. Don't delay, send an email to pussypower79@yahoo.com today!!!
~~~~~~

ya know, i really need to get to san francisco for this thing one of these years....*8-)

hrm, would sending a resume to the star be akin to selling my soul to the devil?

Q: What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?
A: A wet nose.


*8-)

*bleargh*

here's an article on donating vehicles for tax deductions...ugh, looking at the irs site makes me think there's more paperwork involved in this than i originally thought...

why do pharmaceutical companies have to be so damned difficult when it comes to giving patients information that they can understand? doc english gave me a new med - starlix - to help with the diabetes...so i go to the website and first thing i see is "This website is intended for non-US audiences." errr, what the hell's the difference? so all this shit about the meds isn't true since i'm in the US? the prescribing info is in medicalese - i think i understand most, but not all, of it...

so, i've gotten a little CD swapping group together - there will be 5 of us for the first one...i think i'm gonna use the guts of the last mix i made, with a few modifications - it's a total "i've got a crush and i'm happy and perky and ready to dance and boink" sort of mix...

tonight was my first night back as a volunteer at IYG - it went very well. i've missed serving as a mentor and sounding board to gay/lesbian youth. getting involved again feels good.

found out that tyler (the spouse of iyg's executive director, rob connoley) went to the earlham school of religion and has co-written a book - several people at IYG talked about it and how good it was, i'll hafta check it out...

A few random facts culled from the internet...
1. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
2. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
3. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
4. The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
5. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
6. There are more chickens than people in the world.
7. Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey.
8. The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."
9. On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.
10. All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20.
11. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
12. "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
13. All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.
14. Almonds are a member of the peach family.
15. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
16. Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
17. There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
18. Los Angeles' full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula"
19. A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
20. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
21. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
22. In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
23. Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
24. The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "It's a Wonderful Life".
25. A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
26. A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
27. A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
28. It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
29. The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.
30. In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
31. The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
32. Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister.
33. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
34. There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
35. "Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.

alrighty, well, it's been brought to my attention that the Captain Underpants funny name changer posted to fark wasn't totally accurate (guess i didn't read all the words - okay, i can see "butt" being in there, but "dick"? errr....)

so, for the OFFICIAL name changer, you can go to the Captain Underpants web site and go to the Professor Poopypants Name Change-o-Chart 2000 - there i'm listed as Booger Toiletshorts...think i like Loopy Monkeyshorts better....

'tis amazing what you can learn on fark...

Follow the instructions to find your funny name. The following is an excerpt from a children's book, "Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants", by Dave Pilkey. The evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names...

Use the third (3rd) letter of your first name to determine your NEW first
name:
a = stinky
b = lumpy
c = buttercup
d = gidget
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = fluffy
h = stiffy
i = poopsie
j = pussy
k = flunky
l = boobie
m = pinky
n = zippy
o = goober
p = fishy
q = slimy
r = loopy
s = snotty
t = juicy
u = dorkey
v = tiny
w = cootie
x = skipper
y = dinky
z = zsa-zsa

Use the second (2nd) letter of your last name to determine the first half of your NEW last name:
a = diaper
b = toilet
c = giggle
d = bubble
e = monkey
f = barf
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = poop
j = girdle
k = potty
l = liver
m = banana
n = rhino
o = burger
p = hamster
q = toad
r = gizzard
s = pizza
t = gerbil
u = button
v = pickle
w = chuckle
x = tofu
y = gorilla
z = gootus

Use the fourth (4th) letter of your last name to determine the second half of your NEW last name:
a = head
b = mouth
c = face
d = ass
e = tush
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = butt
l = brain
m = dick
n = nose
o = starfish
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = buns
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = kisser
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = brains
z = juice

Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is Goober Chickenshorts.To be fair, we should publish Al Gore's new
name, too: Lumpy Burgertush.

heh heh heh....and i guess that makes me Loopy Monkeyshorts...

a-ha basks in renewed popularity - hrm, just might hafta kazaa some of their new stuff and check it out...

sheesh, the article says it's been 17 years since "take on me" - that's impossible!!!

The World RPS Society - cool site!