'tis amazing what you can learn on fark...

Follow the instructions to find your funny name. The following is an excerpt from a children's book, "Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants", by Dave Pilkey. The evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names...

Use the third (3rd) letter of your first name to determine your NEW first
name:
a = stinky
b = lumpy
c = buttercup
d = gidget
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = fluffy
h = stiffy
i = poopsie
j = pussy
k = flunky
l = boobie
m = pinky
n = zippy
o = goober
p = fishy
q = slimy
r = loopy
s = snotty
t = juicy
u = dorkey
v = tiny
w = cootie
x = skipper
y = dinky
z = zsa-zsa

Use the second (2nd) letter of your last name to determine the first half of your NEW last name:
a = diaper
b = toilet
c = giggle
d = bubble
e = monkey
f = barf
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = poop
j = girdle
k = potty
l = liver
m = banana
n = rhino
o = burger
p = hamster
q = toad
r = gizzard
s = pizza
t = gerbil
u = button
v = pickle
w = chuckle
x = tofu
y = gorilla
z = gootus

Use the fourth (4th) letter of your last name to determine the second half of your NEW last name:
a = head
b = mouth
c = face
d = ass
e = tush
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = butt
l = brain
m = dick
n = nose
o = starfish
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = buns
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = kisser
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = brains
z = juice

Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is Goober Chickenshorts.To be fair, we should publish Al Gore's new
name, too: Lumpy Burgertush.

heh heh heh....and i guess that makes me Loopy Monkeyshorts...