if i have an aneurysm in the next 24 hours, sue Hewlett-Packard!

ARGH!!!!!!! like the subj: line says - if i have an aneurysm in the next 24 hours, sue Hewlett-Packard! - they're about to cause my head to explode!!

the background:

so, i sent my laptop off to get fixed last month - it went dead on me. i'd try turning it on - nothing. it was dead. so i had it checked out by the geek squad - was gonna cost $500+ to replace the motherboard. that was quite an incentive to hunt down the paperwork to see if it was still under warranty - and it was, till May 1. so i called hp, they sent me a container to Fed Ex it to them, they repaired it and Fed Ex'd it back. i'd noticed the package i got looked like it'd been knocked around a few times, but figured the specialized foam packaging took care of it. so i open it up, the paperwork says it's been repaired - woo hoo! so i turn it on - i hear it power up, but nothing on the display. okay, i'm not gonna freak out, perhaps they drained the battery - so i let it charge up, but got the same results. argh. so i call hp, they send another Fed Ex box, i ship it off to them. they send me a link to check the progress of repair, etc...

that leads us to today:

i go to hp's website to see the status of my repairs, and find:
Warranty status: out of warranty / Service charge: $698.00
what?!?!? excuse me?!?!? that's a bit different than the Warranty status: in warranty / Service charge: $0.00 that i'd previously seen...

so i call up the 800 number. i always wondered about those people that ranted about call centers based in india - today i got a lil taste of the frustration. although, when it comes down to it, i know it's not the fact that i talked to people in india that caused this TREMENDOUS FUCK-UP - it's the fact that HP DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ITS CUSTOMERS.

(errr, can ya tell i'm a bit flustered/frustrated/annoyed/pissed?!?)

so, we go through the explanation about how this is the second time i've sent the laptop to them, they said it worked when they shipped it out last time but when i got it, it didn't work. and i explain it again, and again. i give her case numbers, serial numbers, order numbers, blah blah blah. i get put on hold. she tells me that there was damage to the motherboard, video-something and something else. i tell her that, according to HP, it was sent back repaired. i get put on hold again. then she adds a couple other things that are wrong with it (can't remember now) and that this was accidental damage and that i was not covered with an accidental damage warranty - if i want the machine repaired, it'll be $698.00. i say something else (can't remember specifics, probably just repeating what i'd previously said, since i seemed to say everything 5 or 6 times) and she puts me on hold again. she tells me that there appears to be a spill in the keyboard and that i was not covered with an accidental damage warranty - if i want the machine repaired, it'll be $698.00. it was like every time she put me on hold, they found something new to justify not fixing the machine. i explain to her that i'm not going to pay $698.00 to repair a machine that cost about that much and that won't be under warranty when i get it. she asks if i want it shipped back, unrepaired - i said yes. she asks if i want it shipped back, unrepaired - i said yes, AGAIN. i spent a total of 29:56 on the phone (gotta love that timer on the phone) and they're shipping back a machine that doesn't work.

so now i'm wondering if it got damaged in transit from HP by Fed Ex and wonder if i'm gonna hafta file a claim against Fed Ex - argh!!! the more i think about it, the more i realize how mangled up that box was.

this whole thing's been a huge clusterfuck from the beginning, and i'm thinking i might need an extra Xanax or 6...