Wednesday, December 28, 2005

learning lessons...

throughout this experience of my mom's illness and subsequent death, i've learned quite a few things - things about myself, things about other people, family & friends, yatta yatta yatta...

i've found that some of the bonds i have with people are stronger than i ever imagined - my cousin joanie's been such a tremendous help to me. not just in putting a roof over my head (yeah, i could stay in momma's house if i wanted, but i don't wanna) but also just being such a tremendous emotional support. i'm damned lucky to have her.

then there are people that i didn't know cared so much about me - friends that showed up at the funeral home or called just to tell me they were thinking about me and offered to do anything i needed. sometimes i get all wrapped up in feeling crappy and feel utterly alone - this experience has proven to me that NO, i am NOT alone.

and there are a few people, people i considered friends, that haven't said a word to me throughout. guess those bonds of friendship weren't what i thought they were. *shrug* regardless, i'm damned lucky to have the friends and family that i do have.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Sometimes it's so hard to know what to say to a friend who'd going through something so upsetting and difficult... I know there were several times when I started to hit reply and was just so overwhelmed with feeling that I didn't know how to reach out to you, because I can't say "I understand" -- gosh, I don't, because I'm lucky and my mom's still here. I can only imagine how hard it would be, and even doing that is terrifying to me, because I just can't picture life without my mom.

But I hope you know that I love you and have been thinking about you through all of this, and I'm sure all of your friends have...