just got home from taking mom to the emergency room this evening - we found out why she's been feeling so awful these past few weeks...cancer. after numerous blood tests, an ekg, more blood tests and more tests came back with nothing, the doc ordered a cat scan. the cat scan's showed multiple lesions on her brain. "is it cancer?" i asked the doc? because i have lesions on my brain that cause my epilepsy, but they're not cancerous, they just scramble my brain with seizures. yes, he told me, the probably were cancerous, but were not brain tumors, they probably have come about from cancer elsewhere in her body - possibly her lungs, of which the x-ray came back abnormal.
i just can't fucking believe it. thankfully, mom was a bit drugged up when the doc made the announcement, so she didn't go off the deep end like i did. and i so did not want to freak out - this isn't the end of the world, we still have a lot more learning to do, but it's just sooooo....there aren't words for it.
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