Drinking Games...

from slappyjack.com and slappyjack.com:

Queer Eye For the Straight Guy, The Drinking Game.

THE RULES ARE AS FOLLOWS:

Drink SIX if you're watching an episode of Q.E.F.T.S.G. on NBC, because they reedit all the best shit out of it.

Drink if someone says "Oooo, he's a hottie" during the opening briefing.

Drink if the Straight Guy looks like he hasn't shaved in a week.

Imbibe also if the Straight Guy has hair like a wookie at the beginning of the episode.

If the Straight Guy ever survives an episode with his long hair, FINISH YOUR DRINK, POUR ANOTHER, AND SLAM THAT TOO.

Drink if the Straight Guy's Mother is present.

Drink if the Guy's New York apartment is the size of a shoebox.

Drink when they do one of them cool freeze-to-gray-highlighted-text-with-colored-bar focus on one of the episode's tips.

Drink every time one of the cast members touches the Straight Guy's underwear
Do it twice if it's Thom
...and then again if it's followed buy a comment about skidmarks or bodily fluids.
Drink YET AGAIN if the Straight Guy is there saying "Dude, you're not going to put that on TV are you?"

Drink if they make it through the wardrobe-ripping without finding at least one sports jersey (or a sweater, if the Guy is a hockey fan)
When the Straight Guy is shown explaining, "THey're a sports team, you know... sports?" Please drink.

Sip your drink when one of the Fab Five are shown eating the Straight Guy's food

Drink whenever Thom says somehting bad about the Straight Guy's apartment.

Whenever Thom is struck speechless about the current pigsty the Straight Guy lives in, please drink.
Drink again if this is when they use this scene to cut to the "THOM" title

Drink if they show Jai helping Thom clean and organize the apartment.

Drink if the Guy is so hairy and they wax him somewhere.

Drink if they accidentally show Thom wearing socks.

Drink whenever the Guy's girlfriend is hotter than that Guy has any business being with.
Conversely, drink whenever the Guy's is hotter than the girlfriend any business being with.
(Yes, it's shallow, but for Christ's sake this is a MAKEOVE SHOW. And for thinking that, drink again.)


Drink if Ted comments on the cheese found in the fridge.
Do it twice if it is "american cheese".
Drink the drink if the contents of the 'fridge are 50% condiments.

When Carson touches the Guy's crotch, you should be taking a drink.
Drink again when he makes an overtly sexual comment.

Drink for each of the the Guy's friends and that are just plain hard to look at.
(During that part when, you know, they show them all commenting on the Straight Guy.)

Drink when they show the Straight Guy Fake Tanning.

Drink if they let the Guy actually keep his facial hair,

Drink if they take the Straight Guy out for a meal.
Drink anytime it's not just Ted buying food with the Straight Guy

Drink every time someone watching the show sees the Straight Guy in a new outfit and says "That's just too gay for him."

Drink Whanever they show all the cast out shopping except Thom, because he's at the apartment working his ass off.

Drink When they show the apartment after Thom worked his magic on it and someone in the viewing group says, "OOOH!"

Thom just do a product placement for Pier One? Yes, drink.
If Kirsty Alley gets mentioned, drink again.

Drink if the Straight Guy cries because he's so touched.
Drink if the Straight Guy cries out because he's touched so innapropriately. - from: Gabe


Drink Whenever someone yells "CHEERS, QUEERS!"
Drink three if the Straight Guy ever says it.

By this time, someone in your viewing group has probably hummed or otherwise sang the Queer Eye Dance Party Theme Song. Whoever did it should definately be taking a drink.

When they show the FabCave for the first time, drink to show your respect.

For every Fab Five cocktail that isn't in a martini glass, take a sip for yourself.
If your cocktail is in a martini glass, take another sip.

Drink if they comment negatively about the Guy's girlfriend.

If they shamelessly plug Disaronno as a fine apertif with dinner for that special lady: Drink, drink and be happy youre not drinking Disaronno.

Fuckit, whenever they show that goddamn Disaronno commercial - You know, the one with that woman thats shaped like a PEZ Dispenser (grossly skinny body, topped by a big big meatless head with extremely pulled back hair) sucking on the ice cube with her big ugly lips?
Drink again, and be happy youre not drinking Disaronno.

Drink when the camera crew works in a little shot of the Straight Guy's ass.

Drink whenever the Fab Five say "He looks Hot!"

Drink any time someone in the FabCave hugs someone else at the Couch.

Drink when they make fun of the straight people.
Drink when you make fun of the straight people.

Drink every time Cyan bitches about the way the Guy shaves
...and every time one of them mentions "Straight Guy Speed Shaving"
Dear Fab Five,
WHAT THE FUCK? How slow do YOU shave?
Is there a mimimum time you should take shaving?
Is it like brushing your teeth, which you should do for three minutes?
Please tell us. I don't want to be shaving wrong for the rest of my life!
- SJ

Drink any one of them say, "Thats NOT what I told him to do!"

Drink everything the Fab Five in unison scream "NOOOO!"

Drink TWICE if the camera crew has to cut away from the Straight Guy's night out suddenly/quickly because the loving couple obviously went straight to doing some serious scrumping.

Drink anytime the cast does something so gay that a gay guy in your viewing group says, "Ooh, that was really gay."
ADDED/SUGGESTED BY READERS!


Drink whenever any of the fab five use the buzzwords hip, trendy, edgy, or vintage.
- from: Nick
[i know. i'm pissed i didn't think of it, either]

Drink whenever Carson teaches the Straight Guy to say "coture", or how to say a designer's name.
- from: Spumanti
[actually, Drink whenever they teach the Guy to say ANYTHING]

Drink for everytime Carson says "Jujj" or "Jujjing"
- from: Cassie & Amie
[Note: This is the first, and probably only, time I get to take care of the requests ot two women simultaneously]

If one of the Fab Five says, "Ooohhh, she SO wants to sleep with him" about some hottie who's now keen on the Straight Guy, due to incredible whirlwind makeover - Drink.
- from: Lynn


Drink when one of the Fab Five has to go on how pricey something is (e.g - That was $200 worth of Foie Gras!)
- from: Frank


Take a sip when any one of the Fab Five take part in blatant product placement not mentioned above (e.g. - "Your bedroom is Benjamine Moore Baltic Blue")
- from: Frank [again! you go, girl!]




and then there's
American Chopper, The Drinking Game.

THE RULES ARE AS FOLLOWS:

When someone days "Awesome," drink.
When someone says "incredible," drink.
In the unlikely event somone on the show should have the word "FAAAAAABulous" come out of their mouths, EVERYONE finishes their drink immediately.

When Big Paul calls Paul Junior "stupid," drink.
If Paul Junior comes back with "You're Crazy," drink again.

Drink whenever Mikey is shown.
Drink two if Mikey does something stupid.
Drink Three if Paul Sr. OR Junior hits Mikey in any way.

Drink when Big Paul is shown riding his chopper in a "pensive mood."
Drink two if he is doing a philosophical vioceover during the shot.
Drink three whenever Big Paul is shown slumming it by riding his Harley Davidson.
Drink four if he's riding his HD and talking about how relaxing it is.

On road trip, drink every time ANYONE mentions:
how nice it is to get away.
how hard it is to be on the road.
how the trip is a great way to catch up on sleep.

When Cody is shown working on a bike, drink.
Drink Two when Big Paul gives Cody a fatherly hug or advice.
Drink Two Paul Jr. acknowledges Cody's existence.

If a fireman is shown with the "Fire bike", drink.
If he's got the Dalmatian with him, drink two.
If there is ALSO an actual fire truck shown in the background, finish your drink.

Whenever Paul Jr. yells as Big Paul about how he never does any work. Drink.
When Big Paul comes back with something about "I could come out of retirement and work circles around you," drink yet again.

Drink everytime an object gets thrown.

Drink whenever someone slams a door.
Drink Three if the person slamming the door is Vinnie.

Drink when Paul Jr. Test rides a new chopper.
Drink two if the voiceover is Paul Jr. talking about how special the bike is.

Dink whenever someone punches that punchy-dummy thingie.

Drink if someone gets a new tattoo.

If Mikey ever gets his motorcycle license in an episode, drink it down! Drink the whole thing! w00t for Mikey!
ADDED/SUGGESTED BY READERS!


Drink whenever Paul Jr. says "sick".
- from: Closet Chopper Dude
You should take a drink anytime Mike, Paul Jr., Paul Sr., or Vinny says, "But I gotta be honest with you."
- from: Brian
Drink anytime anyone uses the word "fabricate."
- from: Matt

I originally had some reservations about this one.
With it, you'll probably not be sober enough to finish watching the show.
Drink everytime someone says, "I gatta tell ya"

- from: Deanna
Drink whenever Paul Sr. invokes how big his feet are.
- from a suggestion by Kevin Harley
Drink two if Paul Sr. invoked his feet by not only saying they are big, but their exact size. (Size 12).
- from a suggestion by Kevin Harley
Drink whenever Paul Sr. Threatens to start kicking some butt
- from a suggestion by Kevin Harley
Kev originally wanted you to Drink three whenever Paul Sr says, "I'm gonna take my Size 12s and kick some Butt!!"
I judged this as a RULE COMBO, and split it into three separate rules
Slam-Dunk for Kevin! If I had any money, I'd send him a SlappyJack.com t-shirt.

Drink once everytime Paul Sr. says, IDEAR - from: Chad