my cousin joanie's daughter ashley graduated from high school last night, so we attended the open house this afternoon - can't believe the little baby that i babysat as a teenager is headed to IU in the fall...
afterwards i headed over to kat's to try and help her get stuff settled with the new place she's supposed to be moving into - that ain't happening, it's a shithole, nothing like the model they showed us. back to square one, finding her a new place to live ASAP...moving is such a pain in the ass...
kat yelled and screamed so much at the game last night that she's lost most of her voice...so we went to the abbey tonight for some hot tea to soothe her throat...jacob quickly lost interest with the place once he was done with his mocha mousse cake, but i suppose we should've expected that - the scene's a bit too drab for an 11 year old...
if it weren't enough that i attended my first Fever game on friday, i'll be attending another one tomorrow!! kim said she had an extra ticket, so we're meeting for dinner beforehand and then it's off to the game...pretty cool...once i win the lottery, i'll have to get season tickets or something...
Saturday, May 22, 2004
Friday, May 21, 2004
a festive evening...
kat and i took her son jacob to the home opener for the Indiana Fever - first game i've attended...pretty damned cool, i'll definitely hafta go again...saw a lot of familiar faces in the crowd, but couldn't put names to them - i think i need the shirt i saw on a chick at the softball game i attended a couple weeks ago - it read "That's okay - I don't remember your name either"...certainly a must for my brain damaged self...
afterwards, it was off to Ritter's for frozen custard - yummy. damn, now i can't seem to locate my meter for checking my blood sugar. darn. ;-)
afterwards, it was off to Ritter's for frozen custard - yummy. damn, now i can't seem to locate my meter for checking my blood sugar. darn. ;-)
Thursday, May 20, 2004
"Every time you masturbate... God kills a kitten"
Small, brown kitten
Look at it, take a
deep look into this poor things eyes. Every
time you masturbate you kill one of him, or
her. God knows what it is, but it's gonna be
dead soon, because of you. You sick, sick boy
(or girl).
Every time you masturbate... which kitten does god kill?
brought to you by Quizilla
Shrek 2...
kat and i did dinner and a movie tonight - both of us unsure of what to eat or what to go see...we did dinner at Uno
after dinner, we made a quick pit stop into Target - when we got out of the car we saw a really spiffy rainbow - not drop-dead gorgeous or anything, but still cool. rainbows rock...
then we went and saw Shrek 2 - good movie, definitely gonna hafta check it out again when it comes out on DVD because i suspect we missed a lot of inside jokes. the scene where Antonio Banderas (aka Puss In Boots) licks himself is classic, tho i think Kat was a bit jealous...(not cuz she can't lick herself, but cuz she'd rather be the one licking Antonio - well, at least that's what i think) *8-)
after dinner, we made a quick pit stop into Target - when we got out of the car we saw a really spiffy rainbow - not drop-dead gorgeous or anything, but still cool. rainbows rock...
then we went and saw Shrek 2 - good movie, definitely gonna hafta check it out again when it comes out on DVD because i suspect we missed a lot of inside jokes. the scene where Antonio Banderas (aka Puss In Boots) licks himself is classic, tho i think Kat was a bit jealous...(not cuz she can't lick herself, but cuz she'd rather be the one licking Antonio - well, at least that's what i think) *8-)
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
I felt a Funeral, in my Brain - Emily Dickinson
(can't really explain it, but this has always been a favorite poem of mine...)
I felt a Funeral, in my Brain,
And Mourners to and fro
Kept treading--treading--till it seemed
That Sense was breaking through--
And when they all were seated,
A Service, like a Drum--
Kept beating--beating--till I thought
My Mind was going numb--
And then I heard them lift a Box
And creak across my Soul
With those same Boots of Lead, again,
Then Space--began to toll,
As all the Heavens were a Bell,
And Being, but an Ear,
And I, and Silence, some strange Race
Wrecked, solitary, here--
And then a Plank in Reason, broke,
And I dropped down, and down--
And hit a World, at every plunge,
And Finished knowing--then--
-- Emily Dickinson
I felt a Funeral, in my Brain,
And Mourners to and fro
Kept treading--treading--till it seemed
That Sense was breaking through--
And when they all were seated,
A Service, like a Drum--
Kept beating--beating--till I thought
My Mind was going numb--
And then I heard them lift a Box
And creak across my Soul
With those same Boots of Lead, again,
Then Space--began to toll,
As all the Heavens were a Bell,
And Being, but an Ear,
And I, and Silence, some strange Race
Wrecked, solitary, here--
And then a Plank in Reason, broke,
And I dropped down, and down--
And hit a World, at every plunge,
And Finished knowing--then--
-- Emily Dickinson
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
Bloomington...
Kat and i made a little road trip to Bloomington today...it was really nice until *WHAM!* i got hit by a wave of depression on the ride home. being unemployed really sucks. i feel completely and utterly useless.
Monday, May 17, 2004
the idea that'll make me a bazillionaire...
well, the initial prototypes of my magic wand that'll make everything happy have not quite worked as planned, so i suppose i'll have to get working on the back-up idea...
The Magic Remote Control will allow you to rewind and replay the spiffy parts of your life, as well as fast-forward through the really sucky ones. Want everything to just chill for a while? Hit the pause button, and hit it again when you're ready to resume life on this crazy-ass merry-go-round called life.
i think we could all use something like that...
The Magic Remote Control will allow you to rewind and replay the spiffy parts of your life, as well as fast-forward through the really sucky ones. Want everything to just chill for a while? Hit the pause button, and hit it again when you're ready to resume life on this crazy-ass merry-go-round called life.
i think we could all use something like that...
i've been shot...
...but it's just a minor flesh wound, really...
the hand surgeon gave me a cortisone shot today...hafta keep up with the physical therapy - my not going last week made that abundantly clear...my handwriting is becoming more and more atrocious and my wrist is very weak...
the hand surgeon gave me a cortisone shot today...hafta keep up with the physical therapy - my not going last week made that abundantly clear...my handwriting is becoming more and more atrocious and my wrist is very weak...
Sunday, May 16, 2004
nice weekend...
like a weekend even makes a fucking difference to my unemployed ass. *8-) alas, i do seem to see more people and do more things on the weekends...
saturday we went to my aunt sherry's house - to celebrate birthdays - my mom's, and my cousin's daughter's...jessica just turned 11 and went apeshit over anything and everything PINK...all her presents were either pink, a book, or Hillary Duff related!!!!!!! omigod!!!! there aren't enough exclamation points to adequately describe the excitement of preteen girls!!!!
the good thing about visiting aunt sherry - she's got all the grandbabies in the family...my branch of the family tree being a bit barren, we get to go over there and see my cousins and all their babies...then they get tired and cranky and we get to go home. *8-)
here i am with jessica's two sisters, Alanis and Alivia:
went to Kat's saturday night, we watched Priscilla - i think the Abba turd really freaked her out. *8-) eeek, i can't believe that movie's TEN years old!!
then today it was back to Kat's - this time with mom...the two finally met, now they know they aren't each figments of my imagination. kat worked her stylist magic on my momma - here's the before/after pics to prove it:
mom's just thrilled - it took her long enough to finally take the plunge and get her hair colored...i'm glad she likes the results.
suppose i should get some sleep - off to the hand doc tomorrow!
saturday we went to my aunt sherry's house - to celebrate birthdays - my mom's, and my cousin's daughter's...jessica just turned 11 and went apeshit over anything and everything PINK...all her presents were either pink, a book, or Hillary Duff related!!!!!!! omigod!!!! there aren't enough exclamation points to adequately describe the excitement of preteen girls!!!!
the good thing about visiting aunt sherry - she's got all the grandbabies in the family...my branch of the family tree being a bit barren, we get to go over there and see my cousins and all their babies...then they get tired and cranky and we get to go home. *8-)
here i am with jessica's two sisters, Alanis and Alivia:
went to Kat's saturday night, we watched Priscilla - i think the Abba turd really freaked her out. *8-) eeek, i can't believe that movie's TEN years old!!
then today it was back to Kat's - this time with mom...the two finally met, now they know they aren't each figments of my imagination. kat worked her stylist magic on my momma - here's the before/after pics to prove it:
mom's just thrilled - it took her long enough to finally take the plunge and get her hair colored...i'm glad she likes the results.
suppose i should get some sleep - off to the hand doc tomorrow!
Saturday, May 15, 2004
not Bosnia - Croatia...
adam's gig this weekend isn't Bosnia - this time he's in Croatia...Opatija, to be specific...
Friday, May 14, 2004
clouds...
this afternoon, between various errands, i was struck by the beauty of a rainstorm. no, not struck by lightning or anything like that...
the sky was a very light shade of grey, with these big white fluffy clouds up high...below them, these dark charcoal colored wisps of clouds - the dark clouds were scurrying across the sky, as if they were rushing off to an appointment, or perhaps they were hiding from the rainstorm to come. soon, everything turned to gray and the rain began pounding onto my car, sheets of rain - drip drip drip...
amazing how something so simple can get stuck in your mind - the simple beauty of it all was just...hell, i don't even have the right word for it. it just was...
the sky was a very light shade of grey, with these big white fluffy clouds up high...below them, these dark charcoal colored wisps of clouds - the dark clouds were scurrying across the sky, as if they were rushing off to an appointment, or perhaps they were hiding from the rainstorm to come. soon, everything turned to gray and the rain began pounding onto my car, sheets of rain - drip drip drip...
amazing how something so simple can get stuck in your mind - the simple beauty of it all was just...hell, i don't even have the right word for it. it just was...
bumper stickers...
saw one on a truck the other day that left me flabbergasted and cracked me up at the same time...
MY OTHER RIDE
IS YOUR MOM
Thursday, May 13, 2004
VNS Update - it ain't brain surgery...
...so maybe i oughta just DO the brain surgery...
appointment with the neurologist today - upping the meds a bit, he doesn't wanna change the VNS settings - guess my coughing fit in the office the last time he tried really freaked him out...
in july, i'm meeting up with Dr. Vicenta Salanova to discuss a temporal lobectomy.
at first, the idea of brain surgery totally FREAKED me out. uh-uh, no how, no way. the VNS surgery wasn't nearly as scary - stick a battery in my chest, wrap a wire around a nerve in my neck. it ain't brain surgery, even tho it really was.
dr. mohan says the success rate for temporal lobectomy is 85-90% - i think those are really good odds, definitely worth looking into the option...willing to take the chance that things could get worse or not change in exchange for an 85-90% chance that my seizures will end? sounds like good odds to me...
the thing that scares the shit out of me? well, the part of the brain they're working with is around the language center, so if something does go wrong...eek, i don't wanna think about that. suffice it to say i'll need to get all my arrangements in order before the actual surgery were to happen.
dr. mohan says my diabetes makes me a less acceptable candidate because it may take longer to heal, but i've been doing really good at keeping my sugars in check and the endocrinologist was happy at my last visit...now i just need to get my stress, anxiety and depression in check - easy as pie! ;-)
appointment with the neurologist today - upping the meds a bit, he doesn't wanna change the VNS settings - guess my coughing fit in the office the last time he tried really freaked him out...
in july, i'm meeting up with Dr. Vicenta Salanova to discuss a temporal lobectomy.
at first, the idea of brain surgery totally FREAKED me out. uh-uh, no how, no way. the VNS surgery wasn't nearly as scary - stick a battery in my chest, wrap a wire around a nerve in my neck. it ain't brain surgery, even tho it really was.
dr. mohan says the success rate for temporal lobectomy is 85-90% - i think those are really good odds, definitely worth looking into the option...willing to take the chance that things could get worse or not change in exchange for an 85-90% chance that my seizures will end? sounds like good odds to me...
the thing that scares the shit out of me? well, the part of the brain they're working with is around the language center, so if something does go wrong...eek, i don't wanna think about that. suffice it to say i'll need to get all my arrangements in order before the actual surgery were to happen.
dr. mohan says my diabetes makes me a less acceptable candidate because it may take longer to heal, but i've been doing really good at keeping my sugars in check and the endocrinologist was happy at my last visit...now i just need to get my stress, anxiety and depression in check - easy as pie! ;-)
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
*woof woof*
deb's a dog. a bad dog - in a good way.
spose that's not the sort of compliment to give a chick that buys yer dinner, but you know you're a dog!
'scuse me while i go work on a little assignment. ;-)
spose that's not the sort of compliment to give a chick that buys yer dinner, but you know you're a dog!
'scuse me while i go work on a little assignment. ;-)
Monday, May 10, 2004
got rid of the winter coat...
yup, summer's definitely on it's way - shaved my legs today - woo hoo! *8-)
the fact that i don't keep the legs constantly shaved is NOT a political statement, or a requirement for my dykeness - guess i'm just a lazy ass. particularly in the wintertime.
smooth or hairy, don't matter to me...
but i did forget how good it feels to be hairless after several months' growth...*8-)
*rub rub rub*
the fact that i don't keep the legs constantly shaved is NOT a political statement, or a requirement for my dykeness - guess i'm just a lazy ass. particularly in the wintertime.
smooth or hairy, don't matter to me...
but i did forget how good it feels to be hairless after several months' growth...*8-)
*rub rub rub*
Sunday, May 09, 2004
men are assholes...
yeah, i think the title says it all - men are assholes...
inconsiderate self-centered obnoxious dickheads...
just my current opinion...ymmv.
inconsiderate self-centered obnoxious dickheads...
just my current opinion...ymmv.
Saturday, May 08, 2004
deb...
just can't say enough about this woman - she's so spiffy! *8-) (well, except for that abandoning us and leaving to go live in nashville part, but we won't talk about that)...
rather than sitting home on friday night waiting for the phone to ring, i went and met up with her to catch lisa's softball game...i miss going to the games - i'll hafta do that more often...
so tuesday @ 5:30, we're meeting for dinner at yats - haven't been there before, but i've heard it's good stuff...
rather than sitting home on friday night waiting for the phone to ring, i went and met up with her to catch lisa's softball game...i miss going to the games - i'll hafta do that more often...
so tuesday @ 5:30, we're meeting for dinner at yats - haven't been there before, but i've heard it's good stuff...
Friday, May 07, 2004
the more things change, the more they stay the same...
is that a quote from a specific person, or just some little ditty an anonymous person came up with to print on a t-shirt? hell if i know, but i'll be damned if it isn't the fucking truth.
the more things change, the more they stay the same...
unearthed my old journal today...it's one of the old-fashioned kind - made out of sheets of paper, they call them "books" - apparently that's what people used before blogs... ;-)
anyhoo, it's a blank book, with keith haring artwork on the cover...containing the gory details of my life spanning 3 nov 96 - 31 dec 99...and whaddaya know, a lot of the shit i wrote then is the same shit i'm dealing with now...depression, anxiety, job problems (granted, back then i actually HAD a job - now i'm freaking cuz i don't have one), and on and on and on...granted, there are things i'm dealing with now that i didn't deal with then (and vice versa) but it's amazing how similar things are...maybe it isn't amazing, maybe i'm just in a huge fucking RUT...
*shrug*
the more things change, the more they stay the same...
unearthed my old journal today...it's one of the old-fashioned kind - made out of sheets of paper, they call them "books" - apparently that's what people used before blogs... ;-)
anyhoo, it's a blank book, with keith haring artwork on the cover...containing the gory details of my life spanning 3 nov 96 - 31 dec 99...and whaddaya know, a lot of the shit i wrote then is the same shit i'm dealing with now...depression, anxiety, job problems (granted, back then i actually HAD a job - now i'm freaking cuz i don't have one), and on and on and on...granted, there are things i'm dealing with now that i didn't deal with then (and vice versa) but it's amazing how similar things are...maybe it isn't amazing, maybe i'm just in a huge fucking RUT...
*shrug*
googling people...
it's kinda weird when ya google a doc to get more info on their professional life and then ya find out personal stuff about them...for instance, apparently my new shrink is a pretty good ragtime piano player...
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