what in the hell have i gotten myself into?!?!?

greg asked me for some help on a little project. seems he's got some recipes from "Nanny" (his grandmother, i presume?) and other people and he'd like it all typed up and made into a cookbook. he wants to get them printed up for xmas presents for family members. okay, i tell him, get me the stuff ASAP. last weekend he tells me he'll drop it off monday - guess what, i didn't get stuff till tonight, THREE WEEKS till xmas!! and it's stuff clipped from newspapers and magazines, or recipes scribbled down on scraps of paper, some of it barely legible, some of it not legible at all. there are duplicates in there too - some index cards have the exact same ingredients and directions on them. i suppose what's scarier is when they ALMOST are exactly the same - there was one for some sort of jello salad...one called for Dream Whip, the other said Miracle Whip! Eeeeeek! Quite a difference there - we're talking Cool Whip vs. Mayo!

and of course my fucking carpal tunnel has been flaring up like a bitch - time for another cortisone shot, or time to look into surgery? dunno.

not sure if i'm gonna be able to get this thing done in time for him to send em out before xmas, but it'll be good to have for the portfolio (hopefully) when it's all done

VNS update update...

followed up yesterday's appointment with dr. mohan with a visit to him at the community hospital office today. since the computer at st. vincent's didn't appear to work properly, we met today so he could make sure my VNS was working and then increase the settings. so doc gets puter #2 set up - same shit happens...the screen says that the wand connected to the computer isn't making any connection with the implant. i know the implant's working - swiping the magnet over the vns makes it very obvious. thankfully, they had another computer in the office (apparently cyberonics is swapping out computers and limiting each office to only one machine - a bad thing to do, in my opinion) and on the 3rd try, things worked just fine. 3rd time's a charm, i guess. so now we've bumped up the stimulator from 1 to 1.25 and the magnet working at 1.5. no changes to the keppra i'm taking - dr. mohan wants to increase the vns more before doing that, since i'm apparently at medium as far as vns settings go...

1.25 is definitely causing some pain - seems like it may take longer to adjust to this than previous increases - the sharp pain in my left ear every time it goes off really sucks.

VNS update...

had a follow-up with Dr. Mohan today...

an example of words you don't want to be hearing out of your doctor's mouth? "What is this contraption? I have absolutely no clue how to use it." he'd asked the nurse for the VNS machine, to check my settings and increase the pulse strength. the nurse apparently misunderstood what he'd wanted and brought another machine, something looking about 87 years old. in tape on the case it said "nerve stimulator" and so i guess she assumed it was the vagus nerve stimulator - wrong! he later found out it was something they use in spinal cord surgeries or something that he doesn't deal with. eventually they rustled up the one machine they had at the office (in order to get an appointment asap after my seizure, i agreed to meet him at the office they have at the st. vincent's professional bldg - way up on the northwest side o' town) but it turned out that the machine was malfunctioning - however, they had 5 machines waiting at their office at community hospital, where i normally go. so, bright & early tomorrow morning i go over to the eastside and get reprogrammed.

the one benefit to going to going to dr. m's office up at st. vincent's is that it makes a terrific excuse to go to dunkin' donuts - there's only one shop in indy now, far far away from where i live...i suppose i'm glad i don't have to face the irony of having the endocrinologist that oversees my diabetes having her office way up there. *8-) ummmm, chocolate creme filled....

thanksgiving was cool...

went to my aunt's house for the big family gathering on turkey day - it was great...my huge selection of family photos inspired me to create a few presents for the kids - my cousin's little kids got tshirts with their pix on them, the bigger kids got other presents - one a snow globe, one a jigsaw puzzle with her pic on it...

i didn't do the Black Friday shopping thing - just didn't have the energy (let alone the money) for it. so i slept in, had a relaxing day...i wasn't able to adhere to adbusters "Buy Nothing Day" because of my need for prescriptions and food, but i restricted the amount of crass consumerism that is so typical the day after thanksgiving.

this is the time of year that i always seem to be a bit more introspective about stuff - thinking about what i'm thankful for and such...i'm thankful that i can be unemployed and still have a roof over my head...thankful for my wonderful mother and all she's done for me...thankful for friends that have stuck by me, even when i'm not such a good friend...

Pez Lez!

i now have in my possession all three of the pez dispensers that i'd featured on my Pez Lez halloween shirt - Peppermint Patty, Wonder Woman, and Policewoman! Dyke cop was, by far, the hardest to find - had to win her in an auction on ebay. the seller has a whole site of pezzes, so i made some additional purchases - got the dyke cop a girlfriend - the nurse. mom agreed that they both looked very butch - they're a cute couple.

unemployed life...

...ain't so bad - yet. went to orientation on monday to find out all the services offered at WorkOne - apparently, the image that most people have of "the unemployment office" is a big misconception...i figured i'd go in, fill out paperwork, and wait for a check - but there's a lot more to the office...a big chunk of services is provided by Goodwill ("we do more than just sell used clothes" the orientation chick told us) - training, job search assistance, computers to do your resumes, help with resumes, all sorts of things...

i'm wondering if the trader's gonna attempt to contest my unemployment claim...guess we'll find out soon enough...

paging Amanda Hugenkiss...

seems Bart Simpson's infiltrated Heathrow airport...

names of people paged include:

Arheddis Varkenjaab - I hate this fucking job
Aywellbe Fayed - I will be fired
Arjevbin Fayed - I've just been fired
Bybeiev Rhibodie - Bye-bye everybody
Aynayda Pizaqvick - I need a piss quick
Malexa Krost - My legs are crossed
Nowaynayda Zheet - Now I need a shit
Makollig Jezvahted and Levdaroum DeBahzted - My colleague just farted and left the room, the bastard.

recordings are at www.ourpointlesslives.com/announcements

and the subsequent fark discussion has more suggestions...

an apology from the guy that coined the word "metrosexual"...

the story on yahoo tells of British writer Mark Simpson's use of the word and how it took off when a story he wrote for Salon introduced it to the US...

Here is Simpson's pithy definition from that article: 'The typical metrosexual is a young man with money to spend, living in or within easy reach of a metropolis -- because that's where all the best shops, clubs, gyms and hairdressers are. He might be officially gay, straight or bisexual, but this is utterly immaterial because he has clearly taken himself as his own love object and pleasure as his sexual preference. Particular professions, such as modeling, waiting tables, media, pop music and, nowadays, sport, seem to attract them but, truth be told, like male vanity products and herpes, they're pretty much everywhere.'

Which Princess Bride Character are You?

Which Princess Bride Character are You?
this quiz was made by mysti

unemployment.

went to the unemployment office today...although their hours are supposedly 8am to 4:30pm, at 2pm they weren't processing any new applications. so come back tomorrow, they tell me. they did let me know how much i can look to receive on unemployment tho - about $225/wk after taxes. i figure COBRA and my car payment will eat most of that up, and we'll slowly drain the savings account paying the other bills. $400ish a month for health insurance is gonna SUCK ASS, but it'd suck more ass to be uninsured.

shiver in my bones just thinking about the weather...

ya know, "like the weather" was really never a fave song by 10,000 maniacs, but that's what popped into my head trying to think of a title for this entry...

warm weather (in the 60's) for the rest of the week, but they're saying we're looking at a possibility of some snow on monday...in preparation for that, i present Make Yer Own Snowflake.

What Kind of Hipster Are You?

You are the Consummate Hipster. Newbies bow to
you, everyone else just stares, as you swagger
down the street with "Little Green
Bag" stuck in your head.


What Kind of Hipster Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

woo hoo - i'm fired!

just got off the phone with the so-called "human resources" person and i've been terminated.

ugh

had a seizure friday night, after sitting around all day waiting for "human resources" to call. and apparently this isn't the time of year to be getting sick - generally, when i call the neurologist's office and tell them i've had a seizure they usually get me in on the same day - this time i've gotta wait two weeks. dr. mohan's definitely worth it though.

evil scammy bastards...

hey there, Internet Corporation Listing Service - where do i rank in all the search engines when ya do a search for my website on the net?

going through the bills i got in the mail, i open one from ICLS.net...right up at the top, there's my domain name, a Customer Number, etc...

at the bottom, there's a tear-off section, says make checks payable to:... - they want $35 from me.

now waitaminute here - i'm definitely NOT a web geek by ANY stretch of the imagination, but didn't i just register that domain in june, and wasn't it more like ten bucks instead of thirty-five?

the letter says "Description of services: annual website search engine listing from jan 1, 2004 thru jan 1, 2005 -- $35.00"

what's that $35 get me? "domain name submission to 14 major search engines, eight keyword/phrase listings, quarterly search engine position and ranking reports." - hmmm, sounds like they tell the search engines "hey, lori's website's over there", do some of the stuff i get from SiteMeter.com for FREE and make $35.00.

i wouldn't be pissed if it didn't look so much like a bill - i had to read halfway down, past the sales pitch but a bit above the tear-off portion of the not-a-bill to read "this is not a bill. this is a solicitation. you are under no obligation to pay the amount state above unless you accept this offer."

i just wonder how much money these evil scammy bastards have made from people not too web-literate thinking they have to pay a bill to keep their domain. a customer number? totally made up, i've never been a customer of theirs. "please remit payment on or before december 15, 2003"? makes it look more like a bill. "all listings are final"? - yeah, then they can fall back on that when you realize you were scammed and they took $35 from you for shit that's basically worthless.

World Diabetes Day

hmmm...today is World Diabetes Day...perhaps i'll go to Dairy Queen to celebrate! ha ha, just kidding of course...

speaking of books....

just finished up Dude, Where's My Country? by Michael Moore. my review? overall, a good read, but a bit uneven - sorry, the chapter where mike leaves the computer and God takes over to write a chapter? it just didn't work. but there were some things of interest there...

a few quotes:

"They call it a war on 'terror.'" How exactly do you conduct a war on a noun? Wars are fought against countries, religions, and peoples. They are not fought against nouns or problems, and any time it has been attempted -- the 'war on drugs,' the 'war on poverty' -- it fails." - Dude, Where's My Country?, pg 96

"Look, I don't know how to put it any gentler than to say that these bastards who run our country are a bunch of conniving, thieving, smug pricks who need to be brought down and removed and replaced with a whole new system that we control. That is what democracy is supposed to be about -- we, the people, in fucking charge. What happened to us? Perhaps we were never were really in charge and those words just sounded good at Independence Hall on that sweltering day in 1776. Maybe if the Founding Fathers had air conditioning and a corporate jet they never would have written such a foolish thing. But they did, and that's what we're left to work with." - Dude, Where's My Country?, ppg 148-9

"But Webster's Collegiate Dictionary defines the word liberal this way: 'Not narrow or contracted in mind; not selfish' and 'not bound by orthodox tenets or established forms in political or religious philosophy; independent in opinion; not conservative; friendly to great freedom in the institution or administration of government....' Liberal is also defined as generous, 'and implies largeness of spirit in giving, judging, acting, etc.'
And that is exactly how the majority of Americans think, act, and behave these days. Though they won't use the word itself, they are the living, breathing definition of liberal in their everyday words and deeds. Just as most independent, free-thinking women rarely use the word 'feminist' anymore; their actions speak louder than their lack of a lable, and feminist is exactly what they are.
So let's not get hung up on the terms. Most Americans don't approach the world with labels, but with common sense." - Dude, Where's My Country?, pg 179

there's also followup stuff on his website -

Run Oprah Run! - yup, Mike, i agree - it's time for a black woman to be president - and who doesn't love oprah? no money issues there, she's got plenty of her own. and we know she's good at saying what she thinks.

Send your receipts to Ashcroft - the so called USA PATRIOT Act means the damned bastard's spying on us enough as it is, let's just cut out the middleman and send him our receipts from book purchases so he can decide whether or not we're too subversive for his liking.

Also on that page are some rather humorous/scary form letters you can send to John - for instance:

Dear Attorney General Ashcroft:

Thought I'd do my part and let you know that I've switched internet service providers (AOL really sucks) and now I'm with (insert name). My new password is (insert). Some of the websites I've been visiting recently are (insert).

Helpfully yours,
Your Name here

they're humorous because you read em and say "there's no way he'd do something like that, invading our privacy in such a way!" and scary because you read em and say "hell yes, he'd do something like that!"

oh dear...Amazon, ya have it all wrong...

so...i'm a poor chick that likes to read - i'm a member of QPB's book club, and they have some very interesting books...so, i have this tendency to go through their catalog and then check out those books from the library...

it was in this way that i had stumbled across Skin Flutes and Velvet Gloves: A Collection of Facts and Fancies, Legends and Oddities About the Body's Private Parts - a very interesting read. interesting enough that when i saw it available on amazon from a 3rd party seller, i bought two copies - one for myself, one for my friend greg - he really likes penises and stuff. *8-)

so anyhoo....i just logged in at amazon, and now they're recommending me all these books about penises! eeeeeek! thanks for thinking of me, Amazon, but i think A Mind of Its Own: A Cultural History of the Penis is gonna be pretty far down on my list of books to purchase. read it? perhaps...checking the database, i see that the Indianapolis Marion County Public Library system has 6 copies of it...but even if it's free, it's still pretty far down on the list of books to read...

Will the Pez Lez overtake the Pillsbury Dough Dyke?

yesterday i was out shopping and got a Wonder Woman Pez dispenser - whoo hoo! now i just gotta find the Lesbo Cop and then i'll have all three that i put on the Pez Lez shirt: Peppermint Patty, Wonder Woman and Lesbo Cop (er, i guess her official Pez title is Emergency Heroes: Policewoman, but we all know...lift up that little plastic head, and you can tell she's a dyke through and through!)

hrmm, will this be a smaller, more portable addiction than my pillsbury doughboy collection? i've been pondering selling stuff off from it...*shrug* i just dunno what to do...part of me says to hold off til the economy gets better and people have more cash to spend on frivolous crap like this, another part of me says - hey, i need the money NOW...

tres strange...

getting ready for the afternoon appointment with the therapist, printing up my blog (not this one, the one you don't know about *8-P) and peeked in to see what i was blogging about a year ago - kinda weird, the stuff i was pissing and moaning about in therapy a year ago is the same stuff i'm pissing and moaning about now...