so, in my attempt to join the 21st century, i've been working on a webpage...nothing major yet, just a little tripod page...i don't have the patience for html - why the fuck does it take so much work to just do a little something? but maybe i'll learn the shit eventually...

oh crap...seems someone's stolen some of mom's checks - she found this out when her bank balance was inexplicably low and found a mysterious $400 check cashed. it's all too freakin weird...seems justin might know the guys that did it, but mom (and i) don't think justin had anything to do with it...the fact that this guy was in mom's house and went into her bedroom and stole these checks is just creepy...i've been trying to keep her calm about the situation - as i told her, i know EXACTLY what she's going through - the complete and utter confusion, the creepy feelings...i went through it all when kris stole my bankcard...so mom talked with the credit union today, they've given her all the paperwork and she stopped payment on the rest of the missing checks...she got on the internet and got the addresses of the guys that signed the check...oh, how tempted i would be to just go knocking on their door, but it's best to just let the cops take care of it...

kim needs:
(a) some sleep
(b) her ears cleaned
(c) some good drugs
(d) all of the above...

yuppers, 4:30 am can get pretty damned squirrely around here sometimes...i made some smart-ass comment (who? me?!?!?) and finished off with "can i get a witness?"...that's not what kim heard though...she freaked...apparently she heard "can i get a whippin'?"

*rofl*

hmm, perhaps i'll use that sometime...

anyone wishing to purchase a belated b-day present for me can visit my wish list at amazon.com...*8-)

had a nice birthday yesterday....mom and pooky took me to buca di beppo for lunch - oh my god we had soooooooo much food! had the baked rigatoni special and chicken cacciatore (whoo hooo, i spelled it right on the first try!!!!!!)...

buca's a "family style southern italian" restaurant, so the dishes are huge and meant to be shared - two entrees is easily enough for 7 or 8 people, so we had buttloads of leftovers...next time i'm gonna make sure to leave room for dessert!

turns out pooky's gonna get the saturn from circle city, the place he didn't even want to go to in the first place! *8-) maybe i should look into getting a car soon - the toyota's almost paid off and it seems now's the time to get a car, what with all the dealerships having really soft sales and offering really good financing rates...but damn, it's nice only having a $135 car payment...yeah, the car ain't too pretty, but the bitch gets 30-35mpg and hasn't had any major problems with it...*shrug*

well well well...guess life in suburbia isn't immune to crime...mom's car got broken into...we learned this when a neighbor down the street called, having found mom's old purse out in the yard...not a good way to meet the neighbors...looks like the criminals didn't care for mom's taste in cd's and couldn't get the keys, so they just threw everything out and headed down the street...maryann is the neighbor that called - she had her car stolen, they got the keys by using the garage door opener in the car, i guess...mom was lucky.

got to do some bonding with the Pooky tonight - he's looking for a new car, so i went car shopping with him...i've had much better luck with cars i've bought on my own than with anything "dad" has helped us out on...only had one to pick from at greenwood saturn, so i suggested we check out Circle City Car - he wasn't really into it, but decided to humor me, and he found one he really likes - imagine that! hell, 4 of my co-workers have bought vehicles there and i haven't heard any complaints...of course, it all depends on whether or not he can get financing...a 20 year old with a $9k car loan? well, he seems to think he can handle it...i'm much more low-rent than he is, i guess...

My co-workers know me all too well...we're talking about movies and my complete and utter lust for angelina jolie and i said "she can eat crackers in my bed any day!"...kim's response: "that's not ALL she can eat in your bed!" heh heh heh, yeah, i guess you're right kim...

all was well and good until i got to work...kim's in a shitty mood, but isn't saying why...nothing like a cranky boss to make a job miserable...hell, she's got enough PTO, if she needs a mental health day she should go ahead and take it...*growl*...there's no reason for me to be in a shitty mood, she's just managed to transfer her misery to the rest of us here in the department...

majorly wicked storm happened while i was at work tonight, as the sun was setting...unfortunately i was at WORK and couldn't go out to check it out and really enjoy it...i like storms like that, when the atmosphere is completely unpredictable and awe inspiring. i swear, the sky was just about every color you could imagine - gray, white, blue, purple, red, orange, yellow, green...totally funky.

talked kim into letting me have next sunday - my birthday - off, even if i still have to do the video eeg as it's presently scheduled in november...it's not that i have to have my b-day off specifically (especially when it's on a sunday, like this year), but with games night being friday and mah jongg being saturday (we have GOT to get new makeovers done!!!!) i'm not sure when/if i'll get to see matt, paige & adam. i've freaked mom out a bit - i've been telling everyone that this is going to be my last birthday...after 29, i'm not having any more...she seems to think i'm planning on DYING, hence no more birthdays....naah, i plan on sticking around, i'm just not going to get any older...

kazaa certainly has aimster beat...lots more crap to snag! now i just need a freakin' cable modem so i don't hafta stay around mommy's to download shit...but i just can't see paying fifty bucks a month for the damned thing...

another interesting lesson to come out of this terrorist mess - Flag Etiquette. it sucks that it's taken something like this to bring up the topic, but at least now it's being discussed. and it appears that things have changed over the years - as a kid i remember hearing it was completely unacceptable to fly the flag at night. apparently, this has changed. "When a patriotic effect is desired, the flag may be displayed twenty-four hours a day if properly illuminated during the hours of darkness." same goes for flying the flag in the rain - with the advent of flags made of nylon and such, it's not such the taboo. "The flag should not be displayed on days when the weather is inclement, except when an all weather flag is displayed."

here's one i hadn't heard: "The flag should not be draped over the hood, top, sides, or back of a vehicle or of a railroad train or a boat. When the flag is displayed on a motorcar, the staff shall be fixed firmly to the chassis or clamped to the right fender." So, where does that leave all these people out there with the little flags hanging off the side of their cars?

and the best of all? "The flag should never be used for advertising purposes in any manner whatsoever. It should not be embroidered on such articles as cushions or handkerchiefs and the like, printed or otherwise impressed on paper napkins or boxes or anything that is designed for temporary use and discard." uh oh. at work last week it seemed as though every freakin client we had wanted a flag background in their ad. and we all know Wheels & Deals and The Trader are definitely for temporary use and discard!

just got home from community hospital, where i had my sleep study done...basically, they tape wires to your legs, tape wires to your chest, glue wires to your head, stick tubes in your nose, stick a monitor on your finger, put a belt around your chest and one around your belly, add a few more wires in for good measure, turn on the video camera, then tuck you into bed to act like nothing's out of the ordinary. easy as pie. though i was tired, it seemed to take FOREVER to get to sleep...then i woke up to pee and it seemed to take FOREVER to get back to sleep - i didn't think i was going to go back to sleep, but once i did, WHAM! i was out. susan, the lab tech, has quite an interesting job - let's sit around and watch people sleep all night! it is pretty fascinating though, when she woke me up this morning, she said she could tell i was dreaming - i was in rem...and i just barely remember dreaming - though if it's about work shouldn't it be considered a nightmare? it'll be 1-2 weeks before Dr. Mohan gets results...

been reading other blogs from blogger.com - Victor and Dan are interesting...

good food for thought from Michael Moore, posted 9/14/01 on alternet.org:

"The man who occupies the White House cried today. Good. Keep crying, Mr. Bush. The more you cry, the less you will go to that dark side in all humans where anger rages to a point where we want to blindly kill. Your dad's and Reagan's old cronies -- Eagleberger, Baker, Schultz -- are all calling for you to bomb first and ask questions later. You must NOT do this. If only because you do not want to stoop to these mass murderers' level. Yes, find out who did it. Yes, see that they NEVER do it again.

But GET A GRIP, man. "Declare war?" War against whom? One guy in the desert whom we can never seem to find? Are our leaders telling us that the most powerful country on earth cannot dispose of one sick evil f---wad of a guy? Because if that is what you are telling us, then we are truly screwed. If you are unable to take out this lone ZZ Top wannabe, what on earth would you do for us if we were attacked by a nation of millions? For chrissakes, call the Israelis and have them do that thing they do when they want to get their man! We pay them enough billions each year, I am SURE they would be happy to accommodate your request.

But I beg you, Mr. Bush, stay with the tears. Go today to comfort the wounded of New York. Tell the mayor, a guy most of us have not liked, that he is doing an incredible job, keeping the spirits of everyone up as high as they can be at this moment. Being there for a city I believe he loves, his own cancer still with him, he goes beyond the call of duty.

But do not declare war and massacre more innocents. After bin Laden's previous act of terror, our last elected president went and bombed what he said was "bin Laden's camp" in Afghanistan -- but instead just killed civilians. Then he bombed a factory in the Sudan, saying it was "making chemical weapons." It turned out to be making aspirin. Innocent people murdered by our Air Force.

Back in May, you gave the Taliban in Afghanistan $48 million dollars of our tax money. No free nation on earth would give them a cent, but you gave them a gift of $48 million because they said they had "banned all drugs."

Because your drug war was more important than the actual war the Taliban had inflicted on its own people, you helped to fund the regime who had given refuge to the very man you now say is responsible for killing my friend on that plane and for killing the friends of families of thousands and thousands of people. How dare you talk about more killing now! Shame! Shame! Shame! Explain your actions in support of the Taliban! Tell us why your father and his partner Mr. Reagan trained Mr. bin Laden in how to be a terrorist!

Am I angry? You bet I am. I am an American citizen, and my leaders have taken my money to fund mass murder. And now my friends have paid the price with their lives.

Keep crying, Mr. Bush. Keep running to Omaha or wherever it is you go while others die, just as you ran during Vietnam while claiming to be "on duty" in the Air National Guard. Nine boys from my high school died in that miserable war. And now you are asking for "unity" so you can start another one? Do not insult me or my country like this!

Yes, I, too, will be in church at noon today, on this national day of mourning. I will pray for you, and us, and the children of New York, and the children of this sad and ugly world. "

an email i sent to clara, replying to her msg...kinda sums up some of the feelings i've been having lately...

hey darling...*big hugs*

>I'm *way* at a loss for words. I didn't actually *see* any of this
>unfold -- I was already at work when I heard it was happening (no tv)

i was asleep when it happened - woke up about 2pm to see it on the tv...then the tv stayed on till it was time to go to work...once at work, we listened to msnbc through our computers...

>we turned on our little weather radio, but no *visual* input -- I don't
>think it's really *registered* on me, on that subterranean level that
>causes me to *feel* something.... Does that make sense?

yeah, it makes sense...

>I haven't
>watched tv much since then, either, it's all been commentary on
>commentary on someone else's commentary....

and everybody's certainly had commentary, haven't they? i've kept my mouth shut, for the most part...

>And I find myself thinking things like: "There are other buildings in
>New York. There are other people in New York. Give 'em a month, and
>everything will be back running smoothly.

i dunno if that's gonna be the case or not...these were some BIG fucking buildings...lots of people are gonna be displaced (well, the ones that aren't dead, at least) and businesses are gonna have to relocate...my fear is that after a month everyone's just gonna go back to the attitude that prevailed before sept 11 - the very shortsighted, "it's all about me" sort of thoughts...especially with the whole air travel thing - yeah, people are okay now with the added wait at the airports and extra tight security going on, but will they continue to see the necessity for it in a few months or years? i'd like to think that this will really change people, but somehow i think we'll just go back to the way it was after things cool down a bit...

>If they *really* wanted to
>damage us, they shoulda gone for the bridges over the Mississippi or
>something. It would take a couple of *years* to replace those
>bridges...."

eh, middle america doesn't count for much...guess that's one benefit to living here, eh?

>And Falwell's comments.... God, let's not even *go* there.

yeah...what a dipshit...amazing to see he's sort of apologized for it, in his own way...he (rightfully) got a lot of bad press about it...

>I also find myself thinking: "This was way too organized. Way too long
>in the planning. There had to be people on the inside, as it were. And
>there has to be a full, functioning *government* behind this, cuz one
>buncha towel-heads couldn't set this up *and* follow through with it...."

i dunno about the government theory...bin laden has at least $300 million of his own money at his disposal, not to mention all the money the us gave him over the years when the soviets were our "enemy" and he was fighting them...the guy's a total wacko...and there's nothing we can do to make peace - he wants nothing but the complete destruction of the united states and anyone that even remotely sympathizes with us...the only thing we can do is blow the fucker away before he does it to us...

>I started to make some kinda comments onlist, then I thought, what's the
>point? A couple of my animal lists have people *leaving* because they've
>gotten so *Christian* about all this.

the christian thing's bugged me a bit too...all the "god bless america" stuff has me a bit uneasy. i can understand the patriotism, but does it all have to be tied into religion?

i've always been an on again/off again believer, agnostic type, but this shit makes me wonder if there really is a god - if there is, how could she/he/it let this happen?!?

>One pagan woman on the rabbit
>list, a member for over 6 years!, has left because someone chewed her ass
>*onlist* about being partially responsible for all this because she
>doesn't believe in God!

sheesh...goes along the same lines as muslims here in the states getting harrassed and threatened - it's just so fucking crazy the amount of prejudice and stupidity out there...

>Me, I blame Dubya. Not that he has anything to do with it, probably, but
>he's such a dork.... ; )

amazingly enough, i'm okay with how Shrub's handling things...i was surprised he didn't just decide to blow all the fuckers up and ask questions later...definitely a dork, but i'm okay with how he's handling things thus far...

the way it looks now, i guess it's inevitable that we're gonna end up in a war, with the taliban telling people to prepare for a holy war with the us...what a fucking waste...can't we all just get along? guess not...

*sigh*

lori

time is just c r a w l i n g ...it doesn't seem as though it's been five days since the terrorist attacks...

seems people are getting more and more antsy about taking action...it's pretty obvious it's the work of osama bin laden's group, but i think that we've secured everything to the point that we can take some time to make sure that the actions we take are the right ones. just dropping a bomb on the middle east isn't the way to go about this.

this certainly has been a learning experience...

for instance: learning other religions' views on blood and organ donation (interesting - jehovah's witnesses are opposed to blood transfusions, but organ donation is okay if no blood is transferred) Various Religious Viewpoints

also: a geography lesson on afghanistan and the middle east (turkmenistan? tajikistan? kyrgystan? uzbekistan? they don't get much air time, but they've been mentioned a few times in the news now), it's clear that we americans are very shortsighted and concerned with that which only directly affects us. if anything good can come of this tragedy, perhaps it's that we become a bit more aware of the rest of the world.

just woke up...scared to turn on the TV - what's happened now? it's just such a mind-numbing situation - there aren't adequate words to express the confusion, the fear, the sadness...

one of the images on the tv that really blew me away was of the American flag - flying upside down. and it's completely appropriate, we are in a state of dire distress. *8-(

what a surreal day...9/11/01 - the bombing of the world trade center buildings and the pentagon...*sigh* why? it's so senseless. international terrorism? things are pointing that way, but that's also what they said when mcveigh bombed oklahoma...there've been lots of comparisons to pearl harbor, but that was a MILITARY action - these people killed tuesday were innocents, not a thing to do with whatever conflict the enemy - whoever that is - has with the united states government...weird watching the news - they report something, then retract it a few minutes later...it's so fucking confusing. bush says the terrorists and whoever harbors them will pay - what if it's US that's been harboring them? is it osama bin laden? deep down, that's my suspicion. right now they're saying the hijackers didn't have guns, they just used ceramic knives and shaving kits to threaten people on the plane - can this really be?!? how is this going to change our system of national security? it's all just such a confusing, painful experience.

*yawn* i'm tired, and of course this fucking night is going S L O W E R than mole asses. in trying to make my sleep schedule more consistent, i seem to have fucked it up even more...slept too much friday, then not enough yesterday and today...so now i'm tired and i'll go home and sleep, only to fuck up my schedule even more. grrr...