everything's just been swallowed up into this big whirlwind of activities...
thankfully, things are getting back to "normal" - tho how do you have normal after burying your godson, just one day away from living three full weeks?
it just occured to me that tomorrow's friday - i've lost all concept of time this past week - totally bizarre.
*sigh*
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Saturday, April 16, 2005
more arrangements
Mom and i helped Marian make more arrangements today - we met with people at Crown Hill to arrange the burial, went and ordered flowers from a florist, and bought Dametri an outfit to be buried in. finding an outfit was especially difficult because he's sooooooo small - even christening gowns we found were obviously going to be too big, although they're SUPPOSED to be too big. eventually we found an outfit at a boutique in greenwood.
the funeral is tuesday - i just want it to be over and done with - the pain's obviously not going to go away, but just to be able to hit the FFWD key on the remote control of life just a bit would be a good thing, it seems...
the funeral is tuesday - i just want it to be over and done with - the pain's obviously not going to go away, but just to be able to hit the FFWD key on the remote control of life just a bit would be a good thing, it seems...
Friday, April 15, 2005
family emergency
on thursday morning, mom and i received a phone call - my cousin Marian had prematurely given birth to twin boys less than 3 weeks prior, and she'd finally gotten the smaller of the two home the day before. now, less than 10 hours after getting him home, he was dead.
Dametri Bernard Williams was barely 20 days old. the funeral's on tuesday.
they're still sorting things out, but it appears that his cause of death is being poor - it seems that Medicaid babies are shuttled out of the hospital a bit sooner than others. perhaps that's paranoia, but he was barely FOUR POUNDS when sent home, and when he was in the hospital he'd had problems with eating and a variety of other issues.
Dominic Edward Williams went home several days before Dametri - he'd not had nearly the number of problems his twin brother had, tho he's still a preemie in a very delicate state.
this hits me and my mother especially hard because Marian asked us to be Dominic & Dametri's godmothers. i actually haven't seen Dametri - when he was born, i had a cold or some bug, and knowing how fragile they were as preemies, i knew to stay the hell away from the hospital, even though i so desperately wanted to see my godsons. now the only chance i'll get to see Dametri is shortly before they bury him on Tuesday. we got together today to take care of some of the arrangements, and i got to meet Dominic - he's sooooo tiny!!! a 0-3 mos. sized sleeper is enormous on him.
it's too much - i'll have to blog more later
Dametri Bernard Williams was barely 20 days old. the funeral's on tuesday.
they're still sorting things out, but it appears that his cause of death is being poor - it seems that Medicaid babies are shuttled out of the hospital a bit sooner than others. perhaps that's paranoia, but he was barely FOUR POUNDS when sent home, and when he was in the hospital he'd had problems with eating and a variety of other issues.
Dominic Edward Williams went home several days before Dametri - he'd not had nearly the number of problems his twin brother had, tho he's still a preemie in a very delicate state.
this hits me and my mother especially hard because Marian asked us to be Dominic & Dametri's godmothers. i actually haven't seen Dametri - when he was born, i had a cold or some bug, and knowing how fragile they were as preemies, i knew to stay the hell away from the hospital, even though i so desperately wanted to see my godsons. now the only chance i'll get to see Dametri is shortly before they bury him on Tuesday. we got together today to take care of some of the arrangements, and i got to meet Dominic - he's sooooo tiny!!! a 0-3 mos. sized sleeper is enormous on him.
it's too much - i'll have to blog more later
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Dr. Ana Priscu - in a class all by herself.
so, today i went to my appointment to see Dr. Ana Priscu - a regularly scheduled 6-month checkup with the endocrinologist. all my labs looked okay, except i'm still having problems with my cholesterol, so we're gonna up the Zocor dosage.
it started off on a bad note - my appointment was scheduled for 11:45, i get there at 11:40 only to find a variety of insurance problems. so we get things somewhat sorted out and i sit and wait for my appointment...and i wait...and i wait...it's 12:50 before i get into an exam room. i'm seeething, ready to just yell and scream at whoever walks in the door.
next person to walk in the door, dr. priscu. no yelling and screaming tho - she asks how i'm doing, and i burst into tears. tell her about my trying to lose weight and about the evil bastard neurologist at the neurology clinic that told me to tape my mouth shut. i mean, this guy has my medical history in front of him, including a diagnosis from his office's psychiatrist of me as having bulimia, as well as notes from my regular doctor and endocrinologist about my diabetes and other health issues, and he tells me to stop eating altogether. i think, if one wanted to get really nitpicky about it, what he said could qualify as malpractice. so anyway, i tell dr. priscu about this and we talk about my options. she looks at my chart, sees that it's not like i'm gaining weight, i've been very stable - just fat. perhaps going on the medically supervised weight loss program my mother's been on would work, using a nutrition supplement in lieu of food while learning how to change your eating habits et cetera for the better. i tell dr. priscu i probably can't afford the program, because all i have now as far as income goes is food stamps and i've taxed my mother financially enough as it is so i can't ask her to pay for it. dr. priscu tells me that she'll waive her fees and can probably get the supplement to me at a discounted rate. then she realizes what i'd told her earlier -- that i'd been diagnosed as bulimic by a psychiatrist -- disqualifies me from the program. having an eating disorder and trying this program would probably cause depression (enough of which i have already) and people with eating disorders tend to focus soooo much on the numbers that bad things can happen - purging, etc. she tells me that weight watchers would probably be a good alternative. then she asks me if she can help me with this and pay my fees to go to weight watchers. yes, a doctor GIVING money to her patients. i tell her i can't possibly accept, i have a hard enough time accepting help from my mother, i'm not about to ask anyone else for help. she tells me about coming from romania years and years ago and not having any money but now she's got plenty and she wants to help me. she tells me i'm young, i'm smart, and that i DESERVE this neurosurgery. (why the hell can't i get MYSELF to believe those things??) then she leaves the office and returns a few minutes later with an envelope - in it is $140 in cash, which will cover enrollment fees and 12 weeks of the program.
she's just so fucking wonderful - and i don't say that just because she gave me money, but because she's so honest and encouraging and respectful of her patients. she just blows me away.
it started off on a bad note - my appointment was scheduled for 11:45, i get there at 11:40 only to find a variety of insurance problems. so we get things somewhat sorted out and i sit and wait for my appointment...and i wait...and i wait...it's 12:50 before i get into an exam room. i'm seeething, ready to just yell and scream at whoever walks in the door.
next person to walk in the door, dr. priscu. no yelling and screaming tho - she asks how i'm doing, and i burst into tears. tell her about my trying to lose weight and about the evil bastard neurologist at the neurology clinic that told me to tape my mouth shut. i mean, this guy has my medical history in front of him, including a diagnosis from his office's psychiatrist of me as having bulimia, as well as notes from my regular doctor and endocrinologist about my diabetes and other health issues, and he tells me to stop eating altogether. i think, if one wanted to get really nitpicky about it, what he said could qualify as malpractice. so anyway, i tell dr. priscu about this and we talk about my options. she looks at my chart, sees that it's not like i'm gaining weight, i've been very stable - just fat. perhaps going on the medically supervised weight loss program my mother's been on would work, using a nutrition supplement in lieu of food while learning how to change your eating habits et cetera for the better. i tell dr. priscu i probably can't afford the program, because all i have now as far as income goes is food stamps and i've taxed my mother financially enough as it is so i can't ask her to pay for it. dr. priscu tells me that she'll waive her fees and can probably get the supplement to me at a discounted rate. then she realizes what i'd told her earlier -- that i'd been diagnosed as bulimic by a psychiatrist -- disqualifies me from the program. having an eating disorder and trying this program would probably cause depression (enough of which i have already) and people with eating disorders tend to focus soooo much on the numbers that bad things can happen - purging, etc. she tells me that weight watchers would probably be a good alternative. then she asks me if she can help me with this and pay my fees to go to weight watchers. yes, a doctor GIVING money to her patients. i tell her i can't possibly accept, i have a hard enough time accepting help from my mother, i'm not about to ask anyone else for help. she tells me about coming from romania years and years ago and not having any money but now she's got plenty and she wants to help me. she tells me i'm young, i'm smart, and that i DESERVE this neurosurgery. (why the hell can't i get MYSELF to believe those things??) then she leaves the office and returns a few minutes later with an envelope - in it is $140 in cash, which will cover enrollment fees and 12 weeks of the program.
she's just so fucking wonderful - and i don't say that just because she gave me money, but because she's so honest and encouraging and respectful of her patients. she just blows me away.
Monday, April 11, 2005
heh heh heh...
You have a dominant kiss- you take charge and make
sure your partner can feel it! Done artfully,
it can be very satisfactory if he/she is into
you playing the dominant role MEORW!
What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
malpractice?
the more i think about it, the more the comment from Dr. Markand REALLY pisses me off. he's one of the neurologists i'm seeing prior to the epilepsy surgery. while i usually deal with other docs, my last appointment i got to see him. when he saw that i haven't lost a significant amount of weight since my last trip to the office, he told me that i should "put a piece of tape on my mouth". i was taken aback when he said it, and didn't comment during the appointment. but since then, that comment has been eating away at me - no pun intended.
yes, asshole, i am aware that i am fat. take a glance at my chart - you'll see that it's not just from one too many twinkies. YES, i do have a problem with overeating/binging from time to time, but i also have to deal with being diabetic, having PCOS, and god knows what psychiatric diagnoses they've come up with for me now. telling me to put a piece of tape on my mouth does NOTHING to help the situation - perhaps recommending appropriate diet/exercise plans or something POSITIVE would help, instead of further throwing me down the hole of depression.
so, say i take that piece of tape and put it on my mouth - i don't eat but continue to take my prescribed meds - my blood sugar drops and sends me into a seizure that just might not end. should something like that happen, i'd say that it's very obvious that this is a case of medical malpractice by Dr. Markand - he's the bastard that did say i should stop eating.
grrrr. the whole thing just has me seeeething.
yes, asshole, i am aware that i am fat. take a glance at my chart - you'll see that it's not just from one too many twinkies. YES, i do have a problem with overeating/binging from time to time, but i also have to deal with being diabetic, having PCOS, and god knows what psychiatric diagnoses they've come up with for me now. telling me to put a piece of tape on my mouth does NOTHING to help the situation - perhaps recommending appropriate diet/exercise plans or something POSITIVE would help, instead of further throwing me down the hole of depression.
so, say i take that piece of tape and put it on my mouth - i don't eat but continue to take my prescribed meds - my blood sugar drops and sends me into a seizure that just might not end. should something like that happen, i'd say that it's very obvious that this is a case of medical malpractice by Dr. Markand - he's the bastard that did say i should stop eating.
grrrr. the whole thing just has me seeeething.
haven't heard this one before...
of course, the ol' "Jesus saves" comment has lots of additions to it that we've all seen before (my personal fave being "Jesus saves by using coupons and shopping wisely") but i saw a new one in an email sig today:
"Jesus saves sinners and redeems them for cash and valuable prizes."
hahaha!
"Jesus saves sinners and redeems them for cash and valuable prizes."
hahaha!
Monday, April 04, 2005
Rupert!
i love to surprise people - so when i saw an upcoming event advertised last week that i knew kat would enjoy, i told her that she was being kidnapped on saturday. awfully nice of me to warn someone of their impending kidnapping, dontcha think?
saturday was opening night at Hoosier Park - i've never been to the horse races, and neither has Kat - however, what really made it something i knew she'd enjoy meeting Rupert Boneham from "Survivor" - she swears she's Rupert's biggest fan. it was a "Reality Show Star Challenge" : Butch Lockley from "Survivor", Melissa Hunter (aka MoJo) of "Joe Millionaire" and Ryan Laster of "Elimidate" were also there. so we got our pix taken with Rupert, got autographs & t-shirts and watched the races. kat and i made bets based on names of the horses, having absolutely no knowledge of this stuff, and we did rather well - one horse won that we bet to place - had we bet on it to win, our $2 bet would've won $46 - instead, it was more like five bucks. doubt i'll make a habit of going to the track, but it was certainly fun and i wouldn't mind doing it again.
saturday was opening night at Hoosier Park - i've never been to the horse races, and neither has Kat - however, what really made it something i knew she'd enjoy meeting Rupert Boneham from "Survivor" - she swears she's Rupert's biggest fan. it was a "Reality Show Star Challenge" : Butch Lockley from "Survivor", Melissa Hunter (aka MoJo) of "Joe Millionaire" and Ryan Laster of "Elimidate" were also there. so we got our pix taken with Rupert, got autographs & t-shirts and watched the races. kat and i made bets based on names of the horses, having absolutely no knowledge of this stuff, and we did rather well - one horse won that we bet to place - had we bet on it to win, our $2 bet would've won $46 - instead, it was more like five bucks. doubt i'll make a habit of going to the track, but it was certainly fun and i wouldn't mind doing it again.
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Surgery update: more delays...
went to the neurologist today - surgery can't happen till i lose at least 30 pounds - the equipment used for the Wada test has weight limits, gotta lose the weight before the Wada, which is the final test i need to do before surgery.
doc tells me to put a piece of tape on my mouth to stop eating. argh. i explained that after my last appointment and they told me they wanted me to lose weight, that i was really pumped up to do it. then i twisted my leg and my ankle - couldn't exercise. that really bummed me out, and so diet plans went out the window. being diagnosed as a non-purging bulimic is something i haven't really addressed or come to terms with - for the most part, i would say that i eat a regular diet, but there are times when i binge, and when i binge you'd better watch the hell out.
feeling lots of frustration right now.
doc tells me to put a piece of tape on my mouth to stop eating. argh. i explained that after my last appointment and they told me they wanted me to lose weight, that i was really pumped up to do it. then i twisted my leg and my ankle - couldn't exercise. that really bummed me out, and so diet plans went out the window. being diagnosed as a non-purging bulimic is something i haven't really addressed or come to terms with - for the most part, i would say that i eat a regular diet, but there are times when i binge, and when i binge you'd better watch the hell out.
feeling lots of frustration right now.
the alma mater in the news...
Earlham made it into the news today, and for once it wasn't about their attempts to hang on to Conner Prairie and Eli Lilly's money...
Earlham student hits pundit with pie
Associated Press
March 30, 2005
RICHMOND, Ind. -- A pie in the face didn't silence conservative pundit William Kristol during a speech at Earlham College.
A man who later was identified as a student at the private Quaker college jumped onto the stage and splattered Kristol with the pie Tuesday night about 30 minutes into a speech about U.S. foreign policy.
Members of the audience jeered the student as he walked off the stage, then applauded as Kristol wiped the goo off his face with a paper towel and said, "Just let me finish this point," the Palladium-Item reported.
The student was suspended and could face expulsion following a disciplinary review, Earlham Provost Len Clark said today.
The school, which did not release the student's name, said Kristol was hit by an ice cream pie. Some of the pie also hit college President Doug Bennett, who was sitting on the stage.
Clark issued a written apology complimenting Kristol for his "graciousness."
Kristol, the editor of The Weekly Standard in Washington who was chief of staff to Vice President Dan Quayle, finished his speech after he was hit by the pie and then took questions from the audience before spending 30 minutes talking with students and others who gathered at the edge of the stage.
Earlham is a liberal arts college of about 1,200 students that is well-known for its peace studies program.
all i can do is smirk...i wonder if the "disciplinary review" would be a College Judical Council meeting - i was an elected student rep of the CJC in my college days. somehow, i suspect they'll try to do this in a grown-ups only manner, with no input from students.
i really drank the kool-aid and saw the utopia that Earlham promised while i was there, but after getting screwed over by them financially, i guess i've become a bit jaded as to how much they live by the ideals that they espouse.
Earlham student hits pundit with pie
Associated Press
March 30, 2005
RICHMOND, Ind. -- A pie in the face didn't silence conservative pundit William Kristol during a speech at Earlham College.
A man who later was identified as a student at the private Quaker college jumped onto the stage and splattered Kristol with the pie Tuesday night about 30 minutes into a speech about U.S. foreign policy.
Members of the audience jeered the student as he walked off the stage, then applauded as Kristol wiped the goo off his face with a paper towel and said, "Just let me finish this point," the Palladium-Item reported.
The student was suspended and could face expulsion following a disciplinary review, Earlham Provost Len Clark said today.
The school, which did not release the student's name, said Kristol was hit by an ice cream pie. Some of the pie also hit college President Doug Bennett, who was sitting on the stage.
Clark issued a written apology complimenting Kristol for his "graciousness."
Kristol, the editor of The Weekly Standard in Washington who was chief of staff to Vice President Dan Quayle, finished his speech after he was hit by the pie and then took questions from the audience before spending 30 minutes talking with students and others who gathered at the edge of the stage.
Earlham is a liberal arts college of about 1,200 students that is well-known for its peace studies program.
all i can do is smirk...i wonder if the "disciplinary review" would be a College Judical Council meeting - i was an elected student rep of the CJC in my college days. somehow, i suspect they'll try to do this in a grown-ups only manner, with no input from students.
i really drank the kool-aid and saw the utopia that Earlham promised while i was there, but after getting screwed over by them financially, i guess i've become a bit jaded as to how much they live by the ideals that they espouse.
Sunday, March 27, 2005
weekend wrapup...
the weekend wasn't exactly as i expected it to be, but it was alright...
friday night, Kat, Jake and i went and picked out movies to watch- we ended up renting Catwoman, Mr. 3000, Open Water and Jack. my reviews:
Catwoman: i was leery of this one, just because of all the horrible reviews it's gotten, but when you're picking out movies for 2 "grown-ups" (me and kat) and an 11 year old, selection can be rather limited. Roger Ebert's review made me realize why the reviews are all so bad - i think people had way too many expectations of this movie. if you want a popcorn-eating, non-thinking movie to zone out to, it's alright. if ya want your superheroes to have some depth and a story that explains HOW they get their superpowers and how they deal with having them, look elsewhere...but damn if Halle Berry didn't look hot in that catsuit. ;-)
Mr. 3000: Bernie Mac's a funny guy - cute movie.
Open Water: woah - this one's based on a true story of a couple of divers left out in the ocean. filmed on digital equipment, it's rather unnerving to watch - pretty unbelievable.
Jack: haven't watched this one yet, but rented it solely because of the cover of the dvd - Anton Yelchin, who plays Byrd on "Huff" one of my favorite shows. Yelchin's apparently the lead character, Jack, dealing with parents, one of whom is gay...we'll see how it turns out.
Against the Ropes: saw this one on Showtime today - based on the true story of female boxing promoter Jackie Kallen...interesting movie, but i don't think Meg Ryan was the right choice to play Kallen.
all the movie watching's been the majority of my weekend cuz i seem to have developed a nasty chest cold or something. seem to have some of those nasty phlegmballs like in that mucinex commercial - *cough* was supposed to go to easter dinner at michelle's, but cancelled on her because i felt so awful and don't feel the need to be spreading my germs around...
the other thing i was supposed to do today was go see marian's new babies at the hospital, but refrained from that because of the germ issue too. i have learned, however, that marian wants me to be a godmother!!!! how cool is that?!?!? not sure if i'll be godmother to both of the twins or just one, but it doesn't matter. i'm thrilled. hafta get well now so i can go see them (and find out if marian and ed have decided on the correct spelling of the boys' names) - guess now i'm a Fairy Godmother! *8-)
friday night, Kat, Jake and i went and picked out movies to watch- we ended up renting Catwoman, Mr. 3000, Open Water and Jack. my reviews:
Catwoman: i was leery of this one, just because of all the horrible reviews it's gotten, but when you're picking out movies for 2 "grown-ups" (me and kat) and an 11 year old, selection can be rather limited. Roger Ebert's review made me realize why the reviews are all so bad - i think people had way too many expectations of this movie. if you want a popcorn-eating, non-thinking movie to zone out to, it's alright. if ya want your superheroes to have some depth and a story that explains HOW they get their superpowers and how they deal with having them, look elsewhere...but damn if Halle Berry didn't look hot in that catsuit. ;-)
Mr. 3000: Bernie Mac's a funny guy - cute movie.
Open Water: woah - this one's based on a true story of a couple of divers left out in the ocean. filmed on digital equipment, it's rather unnerving to watch - pretty unbelievable.
Jack: haven't watched this one yet, but rented it solely because of the cover of the dvd - Anton Yelchin, who plays Byrd on "Huff" one of my favorite shows. Yelchin's apparently the lead character, Jack, dealing with parents, one of whom is gay...we'll see how it turns out.
Against the Ropes: saw this one on Showtime today - based on the true story of female boxing promoter Jackie Kallen...interesting movie, but i don't think Meg Ryan was the right choice to play Kallen.
all the movie watching's been the majority of my weekend cuz i seem to have developed a nasty chest cold or something. seem to have some of those nasty phlegmballs like in that mucinex commercial - *cough* was supposed to go to easter dinner at michelle's, but cancelled on her because i felt so awful and don't feel the need to be spreading my germs around...
the other thing i was supposed to do today was go see marian's new babies at the hospital, but refrained from that because of the germ issue too. i have learned, however, that marian wants me to be a godmother!!!! how cool is that?!?!? not sure if i'll be godmother to both of the twins or just one, but it doesn't matter. i'm thrilled. hafta get well now so i can go see them (and find out if marian and ed have decided on the correct spelling of the boys' names) - guess now i'm a Fairy Godmother! *8-)
happy easter!
on this day of Christianity, i reckon it'd be good to post a little history of the holiday, courtesy of Eddie Izzard:
So, yeah. So the Pagan religion had very big festivals, remember, on Easter and Christmas. The Christian religion came along and had very big festivals, at Easter and Christmas. Jesus died on one and was born on the other. ( doubting sounds ) ‘Cause Jesus I do think did exist, and he was, I think, a guy who had interesting ideas in the Gandhi-type area, in the Nelson Mandela-type area, you know, relaxed and groovy; and the Romans thought, "Relaxed and groovy?! No, no, no, no, no!" So they murdered him. And kids eat chocolate eggs, because of the color of the chocolate, and the color of the... wood on the cross. Well, you tell me! It's got nothing to do with it, has it? You know, people going, "Remember, kids," the kids who're eating the chocolate eggs,
"Jesus died for your sins."
"Yeah, I know, it's great!”
“No, no no, it's bad, it's bad!”
“ No, it's bad! It's very bad. It's terrible! Whatever you want, just keep giving me these eggs."
And the bunny rabbits! Where do they come into the crucifixion? There were no bunny rabbits up on the hill going, "Hey, what, are you going to put those crosses in our warrens? We live below this hill, all right?" Bunny rabbits are for shagging, eggs are for fertility. It's a festival - it's the spring festival!
So, yeah. So the Pagan religion had very big festivals, remember, on Easter and Christmas. The Christian religion came along and had very big festivals, at Easter and Christmas. Jesus died on one and was born on the other. ( doubting sounds ) ‘Cause Jesus I do think did exist, and he was, I think, a guy who had interesting ideas in the Gandhi-type area, in the Nelson Mandela-type area, you know, relaxed and groovy; and the Romans thought, "Relaxed and groovy?! No, no, no, no, no!" So they murdered him. And kids eat chocolate eggs, because of the color of the chocolate, and the color of the... wood on the cross. Well, you tell me! It's got nothing to do with it, has it? You know, people going, "Remember, kids," the kids who're eating the chocolate eggs,
"Jesus died for your sins."
"Yeah, I know, it's great!”
“No, no no, it's bad, it's bad!”
“ No, it's bad! It's very bad. It's terrible! Whatever you want, just keep giving me these eggs."
And the bunny rabbits! Where do they come into the crucifixion? There were no bunny rabbits up on the hill going, "Hey, what, are you going to put those crosses in our warrens? We live below this hill, all right?" Bunny rabbits are for shagging, eggs are for fertility. It's a festival - it's the spring festival!
Monday, March 21, 2005
a good weekend. *8-)
friday night kat and i went to games night - woulda been nice if brandy could've joined us, but something happened there and she didn't make it. it was good to see angela again - you'd think i'd keep in contact with her more often, as close to each other as we are - she's right up the street! in addition to cranium, we played Snorta - rather amusing game that makes everyone look like a goofy idiot. (as if i need any help in that department)
saturday i met up with jamie, a person i've been chatting with on alt. we met up at Vic's, had dinner at Bravo (my first time there - think i like Buca di Beppo more, but it was still very good) and then had dessert at Jamie's apartment. *smirk* i think we'll be seeing more of each other. perhaps i'll even need to reevaluate my place on the Kinsey Scale.
sunday i left jamie's and headed to zionsville for marian's baby shower - i think mom's a little perturbed i didn't tell her about jamie and subsequent details, but i'm feeling the need for a little distance from her. i know she's used to knowing everything that's going on with me, but right now, i'm not sharing everything.
saturday i met up with jamie, a person i've been chatting with on alt. we met up at Vic's, had dinner at Bravo (my first time there - think i like Buca di Beppo more, but it was still very good) and then had dessert at Jamie's apartment. *smirk* i think we'll be seeing more of each other. perhaps i'll even need to reevaluate my place on the Kinsey Scale.
sunday i left jamie's and headed to zionsville for marian's baby shower - i think mom's a little perturbed i didn't tell her about jamie and subsequent details, but i'm feeling the need for a little distance from her. i know she's used to knowing everything that's going on with me, but right now, i'm not sharing everything.
Thursday, March 10, 2005
so this vagina goes into a grocery store...
that's about how it was - majorly PMSing, i bought waaaaay too much junk food. oh well, ya only live once, right?
Saturday, March 05, 2005
other medical news...
oh yeah, the cat scan came back alright (any time i tell people it was "normal" they question me because apparently the thought of lori's head and normal used in the same sentence does not compute) my thyroid's okay, as well as my blood count. however, they forgot to do the tegretol level when they did the other 2 blood tests, so i gave up another tube of blood and am still waiting to hear what's up with that.
so if my thyroid's okay, what the hell's going on that's got me sweating all the time and drinking like a fish? my blood sugars are kept in check, i don't think it's a byproduct of the diabetes. alas, i'm NOT going to go look on webmd and determine that i've got some exotic disease to add to the list of what's wrong with me - that list is long enough, thanks.
so if my thyroid's okay, what the hell's going on that's got me sweating all the time and drinking like a fish? my blood sugars are kept in check, i don't think it's a byproduct of the diabetes. alas, i'm NOT going to go look on webmd and determine that i've got some exotic disease to add to the list of what's wrong with me - that list is long enough, thanks.
thirty bucks at the pharmacy...
i suppose spending thirty bucks at the pharmacy on prescriptions isn't that bad, it's just that when your prescriptions are three dollars each that it kinda weirds ya out a bit. thank god for medicaid.
i'm officially outta the intensive outpatient therapy program (IOP) at behavioral care south - they're moving me across the street, to Adult & Child, where they feel i can get a better level of care. this means i'm no longer gonna see sheron, my therapist of the last few years, but since there's generally a 2-3 month wait for an appointment, i suppose that's not that big a deal. i just really hate change, even when i know it's for the better.
i'm officially outta the intensive outpatient therapy program (IOP) at behavioral care south - they're moving me across the street, to Adult & Child, where they feel i can get a better level of care. this means i'm no longer gonna see sheron, my therapist of the last few years, but since there's generally a 2-3 month wait for an appointment, i suppose that's not that big a deal. i just really hate change, even when i know it's for the better.
Sunday, February 27, 2005
grrrrrrr
my disability denial came in the mail yesterday. i'd thought that since they were taking longer than usual to approve me that they'd actually APPROVE me, but i was wrong in thinking that.
i am so fucked.
i am so fucked.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
*bonk*
that's the sound my head made as i dropped a box on it last thursday - going through some of the Pillsbury Doughboy stuff i have in storage. about 50 lbs of the stuff in a box, dropped from above me, right onto my forehead. owww.
didn't really think much about it until mom and i talked sunday, about the HUGE amount of sleeping i'd done over the past few days (16-18 hrs a day) and my just not seeming like myself. so we headed to the doc on monday - who knows, perhaps it's a concussion, or a problem with my seizure drugs. also mentioned to him some other non-related things i hadn't told him at my previous appointment - increased thirst, sweating, etc - stuff that seemed related to my diabetes or perhaps a thyroid problem. so they took a couple of tubes of blood from me and told me they'd schedule me for a CAT scan - great, hope this doesn't affect the upcoming brain surgery.
didn't really think much about it until mom and i talked sunday, about the HUGE amount of sleeping i'd done over the past few days (16-18 hrs a day) and my just not seeming like myself. so we headed to the doc on monday - who knows, perhaps it's a concussion, or a problem with my seizure drugs. also mentioned to him some other non-related things i hadn't told him at my previous appointment - increased thirst, sweating, etc - stuff that seemed related to my diabetes or perhaps a thyroid problem. so they took a couple of tubes of blood from me and told me they'd schedule me for a CAT scan - great, hope this doesn't affect the upcoming brain surgery.
Friday, February 18, 2005
Million Dollar Baby
mom and i saw Million Dollar Baby today - very good movie. i had my doubts before going in - Mystic River had lots of similar hype about it and i just didn't get it, it seemed as though just because Clint Eastwood did it that it deserved a spectacular review.
so if you haven't seen Million Dollar Baby, quit reading here, cuz there are spoilers to follow...
conservatives like Michael Medved and Rush Limbaugh have gone about giving away the film's ending, because they're so pro-life that a movie that even brings up the possibility of euthanasia is not worth seeing. i disagree. i also disagree with people that say that the message of this movie is that if you're a quadriplegic, you don't have any reason to live. this movie was about Maggie (played by Hilary Swank) and her decision to end her life, with the assistance of Frankie (played by Clint Eastwood) - it was about one character, not a general statement on euthanasia. i think Maggie's life was so crappy before becoming a boxer that boxing was all she had to live for - with that taken away from her, she had nothing else. that's not to say that quadriplegics can't go on to live very productive lives, but this character had no reason to go on.
so if you haven't seen Million Dollar Baby, quit reading here, cuz there are spoilers to follow...
conservatives like Michael Medved and Rush Limbaugh have gone about giving away the film's ending, because they're so pro-life that a movie that even brings up the possibility of euthanasia is not worth seeing. i disagree. i also disagree with people that say that the message of this movie is that if you're a quadriplegic, you don't have any reason to live. this movie was about Maggie (played by Hilary Swank) and her decision to end her life, with the assistance of Frankie (played by Clint Eastwood) - it was about one character, not a general statement on euthanasia. i think Maggie's life was so crappy before becoming a boxer that boxing was all she had to live for - with that taken away from her, she had nothing else. that's not to say that quadriplegics can't go on to live very productive lives, but this character had no reason to go on.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
where have i been?
...definitely not blogging, that's for sure.
still waiting to hear back from Social Security on my disability claim. with my luck, i'll be done with the brain surgery, all healed up and able to work by the time they get back to me. naah, probably not. i don't intend to be on disability the rest of my life, but i'm certainly not able to work at this point.
fiddling around with my medications is oh so much fun. at least now i'm just on the tegretol xr and keppra - no more topamax. being on three seizure meds plus everything else i take was seriously kicking my ass. i suspect i need to adjust the psychiatric meds, but that's not gonna happen now because dr. parrish has left and now i need to find a new shrink. crossing my fingers that the shrink that did my evaluation for the epilepsy surgery also takes patients, but i'm not sure at this point.
making some changes to therapy - the intensive outpatient program with richard wasn't working for me, so i need to figure out what to do next. methinks i need a queer group to discuss some of my issues, or at least one that i can relate to more than the one i've been in thus far. or perhaps it's time to go back to 1 on 1 therapy for a bit.
been volunteering at Hunger, Inc. - a food pantry down the street. it's been very cool, i definitely have needed an outlet for doing volunteer work for a long time. it's not quite the same as IYG or other things i've done, but still doing some good, nonetheless.
other than that, not much going on. i need to get out and do more things, and definitely blog more ;-)
still waiting to hear back from Social Security on my disability claim. with my luck, i'll be done with the brain surgery, all healed up and able to work by the time they get back to me. naah, probably not. i don't intend to be on disability the rest of my life, but i'm certainly not able to work at this point.
fiddling around with my medications is oh so much fun. at least now i'm just on the tegretol xr and keppra - no more topamax. being on three seizure meds plus everything else i take was seriously kicking my ass. i suspect i need to adjust the psychiatric meds, but that's not gonna happen now because dr. parrish has left and now i need to find a new shrink. crossing my fingers that the shrink that did my evaluation for the epilepsy surgery also takes patients, but i'm not sure at this point.
making some changes to therapy - the intensive outpatient program with richard wasn't working for me, so i need to figure out what to do next. methinks i need a queer group to discuss some of my issues, or at least one that i can relate to more than the one i've been in thus far. or perhaps it's time to go back to 1 on 1 therapy for a bit.
been volunteering at Hunger, Inc. - a food pantry down the street. it's been very cool, i definitely have needed an outlet for doing volunteer work for a long time. it's not quite the same as IYG or other things i've done, but still doing some good, nonetheless.
other than that, not much going on. i need to get out and do more things, and definitely blog more ;-)
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