fave bits of Eddie Izzard's show, "Sexie" at the Shubert Theatre
Chicago, IL on my 31st birthday, 30 September 2003:
after my shouting "whoo hoo!" when he did some strutting, he said it sounded like a squirrel was nibbling on my genetalia (can't remember the exact words he used), to which i replied
"WHOO HOO!" - his response to that? "Okay, you can shut the fuck up now." - Eddie Izzard told
ME to shut the fuck up!!!
the man's comedy is amazing - how he's able to point out such obvious things and make them hysterically funny. i can't remember everything word for word, but here are a few observations he made:
Eddie said that everyone in the world was confused about what happened in the US during 9/11 - that's the 9th of November after all. oh wait, us americans have to be non-logical and go month, then day, then back to the year instead of doing it in logical order, ie day month year. so we're actually talking about September 11 when everyone else does it the other way around...
he also talked about how in Britain they have guide dogs for the blind, but over here we have "Seeing Eye Dogs" - isn't that a bit redundant? Too many words, just a Seeing Dog or Eye Dog would get the point across - why not just call them "Ocular Vision Seeing Eye Dogs"?
he talked about reading the Koran - and how his being born in Yemen automatically made him somewhat suspicious, so he didn't pack the Koran in the luggage when he travelled...talked about the bible as well, and reading it in the hotel, but he didn't get to read all of it - so are you supposed to steal the bibles they leave there?? "Thou shall not steal" - but wouldn't this be a good exception?
eddie had a nice set of tits in this show - he wore a pair of black boots with stilletto heels (they may even be the ones he's wearing in the
poster pic), silver hot pants, and a tight light blue button down shirt with red shirt underneath - the tightness was no doubt done intentionally to accentuate the tits...
when he came back after the intermission, he'd changed some of his wardrobe - from the silver pants to a slinky black skirt with shimmery gold lining...wearing a skirt showed the hose he was wearing...it was similar to what's in the poster pic, but glittery and the stuff - hell, i dunno pantyhose terminology - the webbing or whatever, was larger.* that man's got some MUSCULAR legs. i tell ya, i honestly can't recall the last time i was turned on by a person in pantyhose, but Eddie did it - i'd switch teams for one night with him. and i don't understand it - why is it this guy all femmed up turns me on, but seeing a woman in stuff like that doesn't really do it for me?
so, other parts of the trip - we stayed at
Hotel Allegro in Chicago - very nice hotel!!! i chuckled at the "Fully stocked honor bar" in the room - honor bar?!? then why's there a lock on the refrigerator?!? But of course greg & dale brought plenty of booze - we realized that next time we do this, we're gonna hafta bring snacks - plenty of booze, no food, and we weren't about to spend $4 for a bag of M&Ms. Other items available for purchase in our room included 3 different choices of bottled water, a sewing kit, a shaving kit, a bottle of tylenol, a harmonica - huh??!?? yeah, i know when i'm out at the hotels i'm always thinking - DAMN, if only i had a harmonica!!!
i actually ate calamari...always been a bit ambivalent about eating squid, but i tried it when we went to the hotel restaurant and ordered a bunch of appetizers to share...it was grilled with some frou-frou stuff with it...interesting, but i think i might prefer it fried....at least next time i won't be totally unwilling to try it...
i found it humorous when we went back to the hotel from the concert and asked about dining options, since it was a bit late - one of the guys checking in just laughed at us, and said "hey, this isn't new york, you're in chicago" - rather similar to what ya hear around here, "hey, this isn't chicago, you're in indianapolis"...we did rather well though - there was a restaurant that delivered to the hotel and we chowed down before crashing for the night. greg sat on my bed (2 double beds in the room) and ate his nachos - and of course made a mess. then i insisted to him that meant he had to sleep in the wet spot. so he did, for a little while before climbing into bed with his husband - think dale woulda been a bit pissed had i stolen greg away for the whole night. *8-) but while we finished eating and watched a little tv, greg and i laid in bed together. greg informs me that i'm a "good snuggler" - too bad more women here in town don't wanna know that!!
for lunch wednesday we had to partake of the famous deep dish chicago style pizza. very good, but the service at
Giordano's sucked.
right down the block from our hotel was a
Dunkin' Donuts!!! so i insisted we make a stop before heading back to indy. yeah, i know there's one at 86th & ditch, but for this southsider, the one in chicago was closer! majorly bummed to find they didn't have any chocolate creme filleds, but still got some goodies!
my favorite thing about chicago? the cabs - it was so fucking easy to catch a cab to go somewhere, and not expensive at all. hell, if that weren't an option, we probably coulda taken the El, but that wasn't necessary. lack of good public transportation is really holding indianapolis back.
least favorite thing about chicago? a tie between the snotty ass drivers and the guys begging us for money EVERYWHERE. it's a mistake to give one money - all the others see you and will follow you for blocks...it made me realize how cool indy can be - having some of the good aspects of a large city without a lot of the bad stuff - granted, there's still lots of room for improvement here...
*UPDATE: after discussing it with Mommy, she edumacated me to the fact that those were FISHNET stockings he was wearing - not the "webbing" as i clumsily described it...so the nets in his act were a lot bigger than what's in the poster, and they were accented with sequins...
