pretty decent weekend...

had to cancel the AIDS memorial clean-up, because of all the rain last week and the forecasts saying we were gonna have crappy weather today (which didn't really seem to happen, of course!)...maybe next weekend - i dunno...

i didn't have time to actually participate in the "games" portion of games night saturday at steph's - i left at 8 to head over to michelle & deb's party. i'll have to find out if "scene it" is a good party game or not some other time, had to see deb since she won't be around much longer - the danged traitor is leaving for that evil city of Nashville, TN...*8-P

Zima's got a new flavor - XXX Hard Black Cherry Zima. Took a 6 pack to Michelle's - 'twas very good, i'll definitely get it again...

it's true - you really can find ANYTHING on the internet...

see for yourself...

Designs On The White House...

this could be interesting - the Designs On The White House contest will pick shirts to be printed and sold for eight different categories:

1. Best Pro-Kerry Shirt (positive spin, no mention of Bush)
2. Best Anti-Bush Shirt (negative spin, must mention Bush)
3. Best Issue Shirt - Domestic
4. Best Issue Shirt - Foreign
5. Funniest Shirt
6. Best Retro Shirt
7. Best Get Out The Vote Shirt
8. Most stylish / Most likely to be featured on Queer Eye

regardless of whether or not i become inspired to design a shirt, i'll hafta go back and check out the winners...

games...

so saturday's a special edition of Girl's Games Night - rather than the usual friday night affair at Out Word Bound or Vic's, it'll be at Steph's house...

a couple of months ago i got a card in the mail - test drive a mitsubishi, get a CD of music from their commercials and a $25 American Express card. finally got the $ in the mail yesterday. that, combined with a $10 gift card from Target for getting a prescription filled, meant i got a new game for FREE. *8-)

so, i purchased Scene It? - a movie trivia game. taking it to Steph's should be good, since she'll have a DVD player, something that we might not have access to at a regular games night...

queer as folk...

the new season started up this weekend - i taped the first episode, because i wanted to watch season 3 over again since i have it on dvd. for some reason, i thought i'd missed some episodes, but now i don't think i did. i think i just WISHED i'd missed some of 'em. the whole ted on drugs thing hits pretty damned close to home - i hadn't noticed my similarities to emmett previously, going from being blissfully ignorant to just totally enabling the drug use and lies and thefts...pretty weird how my situation with kris was years ago and it still affects me the way it does - well, perhaps it's NOT so weird, but i guess i just wish it didn't affect me the way it has. it'd be nice to go back to that blissfully ignorant phase, where i could trust and depend on people.

summoning the weather spirits...

alright now, it's becoming obvious i shoulda scheduled the AIDS memorial cleanup for LAST weekend - we had such beyootiful weather, now it's just rainy and soggy and i dunno if we'll be meeting up on sunday or not...

physical therapy...

did the physical therapy thang today for my wrist...so now i've got a list of exercises to do 2 or 3 times a day - can't quite do them all yet, it's still too painful. argh...too bad that physical therapist only massaged my hand and wrist - i think a full body massage might be rather useful nowadays....

wasting the days away...

sheesh, it's a good thing i didn't have a job to go to today, otherwise i woulda really been screwed. went to dr. tumuluri's office since my hand is STILL hurting after falling on it last tuesday. then i had to run around to several different places, getting an x-ray and such. my appointment was at 1 o'clock - i finally got home at 5:30....grrr! alas, there were no fractures visible on the x-ray, so i have a new splint and appointments for physical therapy and i go back to the doc in a couple of weeks. fun fun fun.

a new 'do...

Kat made me her guinea pig and i now have a new hairdo - i'd told her that no matter how she asked, i would NOT shake my butt like Ray the Blockbuster guinea pig, but who knows, maybe now i will....*8-)

more cool posters...

similar to the propaganda remix project, c-r-a-p.org has some cool posters...

slowly recooperating...

taking longer than usual to recover from that last seizure, i think - my mind's just blank. don't have the words for what's going on - a sign that things are getting more fucked up in the temporal lobe? not sure. the endocrinologist wants me to take lots o notes on how my blood sugars are doing, and we're making a few changes to the meds, so hopefully that will help things a bit. the last thing i need is seizures while i'm sleeping because my blood sugar drops too low...

new clothes woo hoo!

my new t-shirts from ebaynham.com arrived today!

VNS Update...

Dr. Mohan mentioned the S word today - SURGERY. since the VNS isn't controlling my seizures as much as we'd like it to, perhaps i need to be thinking about it. eh, i'm not using all my brain anyways, let's just carve out the malfunctioning parts. hopefully there'll be some left over!

before today's appointment, the VNS was set at 1.25, with the magnet zapping it up to 1.5 - today, when doc tried upping it to 1.5 / 1.75, it was clear that i couldn't take the boost - i started choking, tears streaming down my face. kinda weird, i haven't had such a strong reaction to this before. so, he backed it down to 1.5, with the magnet also zapping it at 1.5 - generally it's standard to set the magnet activation at .25 higher than the ongoing setting, but we'll see how this goes for now...

he's also wondering if the seizures i'm having could be related to low blood sugars, so i'm going to have to chat with the endocrinologist about some potential changes to those meds...fun fun fun!!!!

VNS Update...

time to schedule another appointment with the neurologist - had a seizure early this morning. as far as i can tell, i missed one dose of meds - definitely not enough to warrant having a seizure. dunno if dr. mohan will wanna take me off the lamictal and try something else, or just up the VNS stimulation...

a phrase that irks me....

"just friends" - as in, "let's just be friends" ...

hey, having a good healthy friendship is a good thing, and to add a "just" to it seems to cheapen it. yeah, okay, an intense physical/sexual/emotional/spiritual/ relationship might not be around the bend, but having a great friend is a damned good thing to have...

perhaps it's that "just friends" thing that scares me from telling people when i have an interest...kat eked it out of me, but generally a lot of crushes i've had have been completely ignored or shuttered to the back of my brain, because i'm scared of that "let's just be friends" comment, which generally means "ooh, you're interested in me, i don't feel that way about you, so now let's just let the cool friendship we had die a slow and painful death"...and i told kat that i felt that way, that if she wasn't into a relationship idea that i didn't want her thinking i had any ulterior motives and i didn't want it to affect our future as friends. those "just friends"...

Kat's outta the bag...

...so to speak...i told kat about my crush on her. i think we'll have to talk more about it later (we had to go pick up her son) but at least it's out in the open now, and she didn't puke her guts out and flee from the car when i told her, so that's a good sign - right? right?

the Indiana AIDS Memorial @ Crown Hill Cemetery

definitely in need of some spring cleaning - Crown Hill does an okay job of keeping the branches picked up and the grass mowed, but c'mon now - we need to make this baby look FABULOUS!

Social Attachments

so, i was driving through Crown Hill cemetery yesterday, and took a different route than usual. a sculpture that's on display there caught my eye, so i got out and took a look at it. pix don't do it justice, but here's one anyhoo:



i was taken aback when i read the artist's commentary - on a stand next to the sculpture, it reads:

Social Attachments

My intention with Social Attachments was to illustrate different relationships. Some are solid; some are passive; others are tenuous at best.

Michael B. Wilken $8,700

ya know, i don't think i drove past that sculpture - i think something out there drove me to it. just looking at it was cool, then reading about relationships and knowing how i'm dealing with that sort of stuff in my life right now just really freaked me out a bit...

solid...passive...tenuous...

hrmmm, perhaps i should get my brother this t-shirt...

the American Traveler International Apology Shirt says "I'm sorry my president's an idiot. I didn't vote for him." (in the six official UN languages) - what with adam doing gigs in Bosnia, Serbia and Croatia this month, it may come in handy...let's just all work to make sure that it'll be obsolete come election time...

:-(

that pretty much sums it up.

go alanis!

apparently the statement's beyond comprehension of most farkers, but i think alanis morrissette's bit at the Junos was rather amusing...

Hosting the 2004 Juno Awards ceremonies, Canada's version of the Grammies, Morissette disrobed on stage to reveal a skin-colored, naked body suit with nipples and pubic hair.

As part of the skit, Morissette was then told by the show's assistant-director that "actually, we can't show nipples or pubic hair on national TV," at which time the Ottawa-born singer pulled off the fake body parts.

The satirical act, says Morissette, was aimed at U.S. government institutions for over-reacting to cultural, free expression, as a result of the fallout surrounding Janet Jackson's Super Bowl faux pas, when her breast was accidentally exposed to millions of television viewers.

fuck yeah, the Puritanical bullshit that's taken over the US is more than deserving of parody!

babies babies babies...

being the old maid of the family, i've left mom without grandchildren...i suppose adam could still provide an extended branch o' the family tree, but it ain't happening with me. (it's cute to hear him or codi make some sort of comment about "well, if we have kids..." but if ya mention marriage or kids to 'em, it's just not a subject for discussion...)

however, we do manage to get our fill of babies by visiting my aunt sherry - her daughter marian's got four kids and sherry's stepchildren have provided several other grandbabies in the family...

saturday we got together for marian's daughter alanis' 3rd birthday. we went to Build A Bear to create various stuffed animals (no, i didn't get one, although i did get a pair of sunglasses for Puffy, the pig that my brother gave me for Xmas) then we went back to sherry's to do what the whole family knows how to do: eat.

anyhoo, here's a pic of me with alivia, marian's most recent addition to the family:



see the big yellow blob on my ear? i had sticker earrings put on me by alanis, and forgot they were still stuck to me....

DST

all you never really wanted to know about Daylight Saving Time...

ya know, i suppose it's cuz i'm a born and bred Hoosier, but i just don't get the whole DST thing. and every fricking year we have to have a big discussion about it at the statehouse, only to do nothing about it - hell, it's even the cover story on this month's Indianapolis Monthly. seems like we've turned into such a 24-7 society that it really doesn't matter all that much, we should just all be consistent...

Flash Mountain...

Click here to see wardrobe malfunctions at Splash Mountain. *8-)

not too talkative...

i know, i know, i haven't been too talkative lately - my mind's a blank slate these days. i'm trying my damnedest to get outta this funk, but i seem to have dug myself a pretty deep hole...

so, let's just compile a list of what's on lori's list of things to do...

baking: gotta make some desserts for Alanis's birthday - 3 years old! m&m brownies, a jello mold, and....i dunno what else...

reading: The Book on Bush: How George W. (Mis)leads America by Eric Alterman and Mark J. Green - just picked it up from the library today.

watching: queued up in the DVD player is Secrets & Lies - had to get it from Brazil since it's not been released in the US. such a cool fucking movie - i'm not quite sure what the attraction is in it for me, but i just think it's brilliant. i also need to get the 3rd season of Queer As Folk watched on DVD before season 4 starts up in a couple of weeks.

and right now, sleeping...

today's fortune...

"You are what you eat" - hmmmm...

ya know, i could make all sorts of comments about that, but i think i'll refrain at this point...

weekend update...

had a surprisingly okay weekend - i wasn't sure when friday started off rather crappily. then i went to group therapy and had a breakdown and all was better for that evening...

friday night was games night @ Vic's. deb broke my heart and didn't show up, but oh well. *whimper* i'll get over it eventually. ;-)

saturday was uneventful, did some shopping and stuff. sunday mom and i went to the paul gilmartin show at crackers. he was funny as hell. definitely hafta do that again sometime...

spent today working on some projects mom's roped me into doing for a few of her friends. i suppose it's all for the best - make a little extra cash and all, but my creative juices seem to have just dried up during the unemployment thang. she likes the stuff i'm giving her, but i think it's crap. *shrug*

great promo idea...mark yer calendars for Monday May 10th!

dunno how much it'll end up costing Long John Silvers, but i think their latest promo's a hoot:

LOUISVILLE, KY, March 24, 2004 - NASA's March 23 announcement of evidence of the past presence of "a body of gently flowing saltwater" on Mars is big news for America, and giant news for seafood fans.

In January, Long John Silver's offered to give America free Giant Shrimp if NASA found conclusive evidence of an ocean on Mars. To celebrate the success of NASA's Mars Rover project, the company is going to give America free Giant Shrimp on Monday, May 10.

read the whole press release, it's rather amusing...

sunday night's plans...

Paul Gilmartin's doing his schtick at Crackers Comedy Club in Broad Ripple - this should be mega-cool!

are you as smart as a twelve year old?

take this quiz to find out!

my score = 28 out of 30

Roeper, for this one, i'll give ya Two Thumbs Up!

although Roger Ebert stomps his ass as far as movie reviewing goes, i must give props to Richard Roeper for his article regarding the FCC...

the random haiku generator...

The magnate’s mistress
eats the lottery ticket.
No, it’s not like that.

damn, whodathunk a discussion of anti-depressants could be so depressing?

this thread on fark about anti-depressants makes it very clear just how many Farkers there are out there on drugs - which i suppose should be obvious, considering most of the comments on the site, but still...didn't know so many of us were clinically depressed.

*8-(

uh oh - guess God and I disagree then...

God Hates Shrimp

the Grapple update...

so, we tried the Grapples.

thoroughly unimpressed - good fuji apples, with an odor of the fake grape flavoring used in candies and such. didn't really seem to affect the taste of the apples. way overpriced, at 4 for $2.99.

growing up dykey...

so, this discussion on fark brought back a long-forgotten memory - my crush on Moose from You Can't Do That On Television...i was probably nine or ten years old, and i thought she was the coolest, cutest thing - i wanted to kiss her. and homosexuality's supposedly a learned behavior?!!? don't think so!

come to think of it, another early crush i had was on a swimming instructor i had at the YMCA summer day camp - Froggie.

hmmm, what's it say that i found myself attracted to women with animal nicknames?!?

major brain fart...

crap. argh. damn. FUCK!!

forgot to get up this morning and get Jimmy Buffett tix - figured if Clara can't come to see 'im, i'd at least make some $$ selling em off. then i forgot to do it. argh!

saturday shopping trip...

went to the outlet mall with mom today, after finding out that Borders has opened an outlet down there - it was a bust. oh well.

went to the Big Dogs store - that was a bust as well. They must have a new design team or something, but their sense of humor/attitude has changed, and it's definitely not for the better. i suppose i sound like a prude saying that the new stuff they put out is too risque, but hell, it'd probably violate a workplace casual dress code because it's all so sexually suggestive - it's cool to have stuff like that once in a while, but it seems as though their whole line is moving in that direction. oh well, it's their loss - i was a pretty regular customer for quite a few years.

Designed by georgedorn and provided by Positronic Design.

Grab your own copy here.

spiffy...

EarthCam's MetroCam Network has webcams from around the world - how appropriate, considering all the fat people in our city, that Indianapolis features a Rhinocam and Elephantcam.

Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?

You are every goth-kids dream!


Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

evil omarosa...

Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth from The Apprentice says that Ereka Vetrini had called her the "n-word." Ummm, sorry dear, but if you say that someone using the cliche "If that's not the pot calling the kettle black" is being racist, i dunno how much weight your cries of racism are gonna carry.

not that you asked, but my money's on Troy to take it all the way to becoming the Apprentice...

beep beep beep - back that truck up!

guess they're not gonna ban the gays after all...

Folding@Home

adam says i should sign up to join in on this Folding@Home thang, but i haven't read all the details yet...

Rhea County Tennessee seeks to outlaw homosexuals...

choose your bias - read the article from the advocate or fox news channel - basically, they wanna make a local law that would ban gays and lesbians from living in Rhea County.

perhaps michael moore should get the sodomobile fired up and take a trip down to tennessee - i think that'd be great, to just FLOOD them with queers and monkeys, what with the place being known for its part in the scopes monkey trial...

VNS Update...happy anniversary!

one year ago today, i was up at St. Vincent's Hospital. Neurosurgeon Ronald Young cut me open and stuck the Vagus Nerve Stimulator in me. the rest is history... *8-)

weird - transgendered fruits...

hahahaha, no i'm not referring to friends o mine. ;-)

went to the store today and found a package of Grapples (pronounced "Grape-L") - an apple that tastes like grapes. alrighty then. haven't tried it yet, gonna wait and see mom's reaction.

Going to the Courthouse

i suppose she didn't send it out to mutualfriends.org's mailing list because it's a non-political group, but Michele O'Mara's planning a demonstration next Monday - Going to the Courthouse - there's even an article about it in the Indy Star.

VNS Update...

another appointment with no change to the VNS - at my last appointment, Dr. Mohan prescribed Trileptal - after reading the patient info, i contacted him and we agreed that perhaps it wasn't the best idea for me, so instead of Trileptal, i'm taking Lamictal - started with taking one 25 mg pill a day, then upped it to two pills a day. no seizures thus far, but we'll see how it goes - still too early to tell if it's the drug working or if i'm just in a no-seizure period.

i really need to get to work on my VNS website - i've had this damned thing in me for close to a year now...

the D Word...

oh shit, what to do what to do what to do??

my brother's birthday's tomorrow, he turns the big 23. we're getting together and going to the ex-stepmonster's house to pick up our brother & sister and then going out to celebrate.

so, anyhoo, i'm online talking to adam (brother) and he mentions that he gets an instant message from our half-sister (paige) about friday night. so adam tells me paige's screenname and i send her a message:

LBthePDD: :-P yo sis, how's it goin?
PurdueSoccer91: good
PurdueSoccer91: is this lori?
LBthePDD: NO, it's your other sister. :-P
LBthePDD: yes, it's lori!
PurdueSoccer91: lol
PurdueSoccer91: well my friend megan calls me a sis
LBthePDD: ahhhhhh

and so on and so forth...

then it occurs to me - paige doesn't know what LBthePDD stands for: Lori Beth, the Pillsbury Dough DYKE.

she's 12 years old - time to tell her? (if she's not already figured it out) it's not a matter of my being closeted - i don't change my behavior around matt & paige. *shrug* just seems awkward.

the L Word...

so, i caught the first 3 (or was it 4?) episodes of The L Word when i was at michelle's house saturday night...'twas fun watching with Deb, her smart-ass comments were very similar to ones rolling around in my head...

while most of what was on the show didn't really relate to me, one thing that's had me thinking was Alice's whole thing about mapping out the lesbo scene with a 6 degrees of separation/kevin bacon sort of thing...

hell, forget the "lived with", "had a relationship with" stuff - just mapping out dykes in indy that have had sex with each other would be WAAAAAAAAAAAAY too freaky, i think. the thought of having sex with someone who's had sex with someone that had sex with someone i consider a friend - i dunno if my brain could handle it. well...i guess it would depend on the people involved - i know that i have had sex with a woman that had just broken up with a friend o mine, but that was just a one night stand sort of thang. still, as small as the queer community is in this town, i think it'd be waaaay too incestuous - prepare to be squicked by just pondering it for a few minutes...

open secrets are interesting to read...

opensecrets.org is an interesting website - you can search by ZIP code to see how much money people are donating to political causes...i suppose this is a way to find out the political leanings of various businesses or personalities around town...

for instance:

Indiana Pacers Coach Rick Carlisle made two donations of $1,000 each to the campaign of John Edwards...

The president of Noble Roman's Pizza made a $1,000 donation to the National Republican Congressional Committee...

Marla Stevens from LGBT Fairness Indiana made a $2,000 donation to Dennis Kucinich's campaign last July...

Greg Dixon (no middle initial there, so i dunno if it's the father or son) from the Indianapolis Baptist Temple gave $250 to the Libertarian National Committee...

Former Governor Bob Orr gave Dick Lugar $1,000 and Dubya $2,000...

Jim Irsay (owner of the Indianapolis Colts) has lots of cash to dole out: $1,000 to Dan Burton, $2,000 to Dick Lugar, $500 to Julia Carson, $2,000 to John Edwards, $1,000 to Evan Bayh, another $1,000 to Evan Bayh, and $2,000 to George W. Bush - interesting, the Bush contribution was on 9/5/2003, the Edwards contribution on 1/13/2004 - what'd ol' Dubya do to piss Irsay off?

NASCAR driver Tony Stewart sent $2,000 to the campaign of Kevin Triplett, a dude from Virginia running for congress...

a semblance of a life...*gasp*

oh my, i actually went out and DID SOCIAL THINGS on saturday...

went to steph's to play games - we played a couple different versions of Mystery Rummy - very cool. crossing my fingers that she actually implements her idea of another games night - the once a month lesbo games night on friday just doesn't totally fulfill my desire to hang out with spiffy people and play board games....

later in the evening, it was off to Michelle's, to watch the L Word - she invited a bunch o lesbos over to see the L Word marathon that she had on tape. i've been recording them all on my PC, but realized that the DVD players around the house won't play DVD-R's, so i need to buy a more modern DVD player before i can watch stuff that i burn onto DVD-R's. as for the show...it's interesting, i suppose. doesn't hold a candle to Queer As Folk, but it's got some good lines and that lesbian visibility thing is always good - maybe the straight people will learn a thing or two...*shrug*

hafta post more later...

Ian McKellan, quoting Thomas Jefferson on Bill Maher's show

saw a rerun tonight of the Feb 27 episode of Real Time With Bill Maher - Ian McKellan was on and discussion of gay marriage was a major topic...McKellan mentioned a quote from Thomas Jefferson that i think bears repeating (even though, as Maher pointed out, Jefferson was bangin' his slaves)...

"Laws and institutions must go hand in hand with the progress of the human mind. As that becomes more developed, more enlightened, as manners and opinions change, institutions must advance also to keep pace with the times. We might as well require a man to wear still the coat which fitted him when a boy as civilized society to remain ever under the regimen of their barbarous ancestors."

now, i've heard it mentioned in several places about all the benefits that married people have because of marriage - literally THOUSANDS of benefits. perhaps it's because i've never been married myself, but i can't see that - thousands?? what are these benefits? i know that being able to add a spouse to your insurance and appoint them as the person to decide whether to end your life support are such benefits, but what else?

regardless of what these benefits are, and the fact that i don't know what they are, i do know one thing: married people don't deserve them. seems to me that the government is giving preferential treatment to people that get married, and i don't think that's right - marriage is a religious/spiritual union, and should be treated as such - it has no place in our government.

another topic frequently discussed: the Equal Protection Clause of the 14th amendment of the U.S. Constitution - shouldn't that trump any sort of amendment banning gay marriage? or shouldn't it just mean that marriage shouldn't have anything to do with the Constitution, and if a married person has the right to put their spouse in charge of medical decisions, then an unmarried person should have the same right to name a person in a similar situation?

i guess the more that i think about it, the more i find myself annoyed with the whole gay marriage thing - it seems as though we're selling ourselves short in asking for the same rights as heterosexual married couples. instead of saying "hey, i'm gay and my girlfriend and i want to get married so we have the same rights as you hetero married people" shouldn't we be saying "everybody deserves the same rights and treatments by the government, regardless of their marital status"?

*shrug* it sucks that this is brought up in an election year to divide the country and try to make us forget that Dubya has totally fucked up this country in so many ways. let's discuss it when everything isn't so fucked up and people can be a bit more rational and level-headed.

the oscars...

woo hoo - Charlize Theron won for Monster. i think she definitely deserved it. i've been hearing more and more about how people are pissed off about the movie and how it's not very accurate as far as being "based on a true story", but looking at it as just a movie reveals a very intensely emotional piece of work.

for everyone else out there that thinks Charlize is hot, here's a link to pix of her nude scenes in movies - Not Safe For Work, obviously. *8-)

i liked Sean Penn's WMD comment - it's cool that he had the balls to make a political comment off the cuff like that, i think. he acted very well in Mystic River, but i must say, that movie is WAAAAY overrated - i kinda hafta wonder if it wouldn't have been as hugely received if it didn't have the "Directed by Clint Eastwood" tag on it.

lesbo games night...

played games at Out Word Bound & Vic's last night - mostly Vic's, since OWB is now on their "winter hours" schedule and closed up at 8pm. there were 10 of us there - lots of fun. played Taboo and Crack The Case...i just might hafta get Crack The Case on ebay (it's from '93 and is out of print now) - the mystery solving reminds me of the Encyclopedia Brown books i read as a kid.

back to "normal"...

crisis mode over, mom was released from the hospital yesterday and went back to work today. they think it was some sort of obstruction in her small bowel - fun fun fun. i've done hospital duty with mom many a time, but i think it was strange for the both of us this time because in the past couple of years, the bulk of trips to the hospital have been because of me - it's usually ME in the bed with mom hovering over me.

argh...

crappy weekend. no mah jongg because dale was sick and greg was working late. so mom and i got caught up on watching stuff we'd videotaped (amazingly enough, the VCR does occasionally get used) - watched the Dean Cain movie, "The Perfect Husband: The Laci Peterson Story" - yer typical TV movie, i guess...kinda weird because the story's not over and done, the dude's not even gone to trial yet.

watched a few other things, then mom started having some pain in her belly - reminded her of her previous bouts with pancreatitis, primarily because the pain was so horrible, and it came in waves. so it was off to the emergency room at 2am. wouldn't ya know it, we have to go to the ER on the night the computer system's down, so it took FOREVER to get lab results and such - luckily the morphine knocked her out and kept her relatively pain-free. blood work was normal, so then it was time for a CT scan, after mom got to drink a wonderfully disgusting liquid to help the contrast. while mom was getting scanned, i took a break and headed to the cafeteria. on the way back, i ran into dr. priscu, our endocrinologist, and let her know i was there with mom. it was a bit comforting to see her there, even though it was just pure coincidence. she knew what the docs had already said - the pain was lower in her belly than it would be for pancreatitis.

so after the docs said they'd probably let her go after watching her for another hour or so, i KNEW they'd probably end up admitting her - at 11am, i was WHIPPED. no sleep all night, instead i sat around, freaking out and watching mom sleep. so i came home, made a few phone calls, and promptly went to sleep.

so they admitted her into a regular room, thinking there's some sort of bowel obstruction type thing going on. excitement galore.

adam's returning from his european tour this evening, he'll be so thrilled to hear mom's in the hospital.

the good thing about group therapy...

...is that it makes you realize you're not as crazy as everyone else out there.

Fridays, 3pm - Stress Management Group. an interesting group of people, that's for sure.

VNS Update...

no change to the VNS - instead, doc's given me a new seizure pill to add to the list - Trileptal. 3MG of Keppra daily isn't doing it as far as seizure control goes, so we'll try 2 drugs at once. i dunno if the trileptal will be a long-term addition to the list or not, and there's a slight possibility of some problems with side effects - reading the info on the website, it says to tell the doc if you've had problems with tegretol, which i have (in the plain form - XR worked okay with me). i'll cross my fingers and hope i don't feel the anxiety and crankiness and other things i had when i was on generic tegretol. it may also fuck up things with the birth control pills - thank goodness i'm not actually using them for BIRTH CONTROL!

March 17 will be my one year anniversary with the VNS in - it's definitely not a certifiable success, but i'm still willing to give it a chance.

Music meme

Music meme:
Step 1: Open your MP3 player.
Step 2: Put all of your music on random.
Step 3: Write down the first 20 songs it plays, no matter how embarrassing.
Step 4: Profit!

alrighty...well, i did this, but only with mp3's i've got on the new computer - i haven't transferred everything over from the old machine yet, so it's probably from about 5-10% of my mp3 collection...

1. Missy Elliott - Work It (Dirty).mp3
2. The The - Kingdom of Rain.mp3
3. Dido - Here With Me.mp3
4. Sheryl Crow - If It Makes You Happy.mp3
5. Erasure - Ship Of Fools.mp3
6. Pet Shop Boys - Send Me An Angel.mp3
7. Counting Crows - Round Here.mp3
8. New Order - True Faith.mp3
9. Dixie Chicks - Strawberry Wine.mp3
10. Thompson Twins - King For A Day.mp3
11. Dixie Chicks with Sheryl Crow - Strong Enough (Live).mp3
12. Thompson Twins - Lies (Extended).mp3
13. Pet Shop Boys - Absolutely Fabulous.mp3
14. Depeche Mode - Megamix (with Erasure, OMD, the Cure, Falco).mp3
15. New Order - Regret.mp3
16. Jellyhead - Crush.mp3
17. Electronic - Get The Message.MP3
18. Monifah -Touch It (Dirty Version).mp3
19. Erasure - Blue Savannah.mp3
20. Kylie Minogue - Can't Get Blue Monday Out Of My Head.mp3


alrighty, now i'm ready for Step 4...

VNS Update...

well, not quite - i'll probably be updating my VNS status Thursday, when i have my appointment with dr. mohan. had to schedule an appointment because i had a seizure in the wee hours of this morning. don't think it was as bad as usual, tho i still have a headache after several tylenol doses. dunno if he'll wanna up the dosage of keppra this time, or just give me a bigger jolt. last week i noticed some problems with my sleeping - i'd wake up after being asleep only a couple of hours, and i'd stay awake for quite a while. dunno if sleep disruptions could've brought this on or not. still having the appetite problems as well. *shrug* i'm so very thankful that i hadn't yet started the new diabetes meds dr. priscu prescribed - i'm sure my first thought would've been that they caused some interaction. finishing off the old stuff before i start the new ones.

Vote Bush Out!

in case you don't have them already, here are 99+ Reasons To VOTE BUSH OUT!

a lousy 4 points...

Pholph's Scrabble Generator My Scrabble© Score is: 4. What is your score? Get it here.

leave it to mom to give me a name consisting of only one point scrabble letters - and only four of em, to boot. alas, it's all moot anyways - proper names aren't allowed in scrabble. scrambling letters will give you ROIL, a valid scrabble word, still only 4 points, unless ya land on some triples or something...

Paraskevidekatriaphobics, please ignore this post.

learned a new word today - paraskevidekatriaphobia. it's is a fear of Friday the 13th. i'm not particularly superstitious myself - every day of the week's crappy. *8-)

perhaps today's the day to buy some lottery tickets.

tonight's episode of ER...

i must say, i cracked up when i saw the commercial for Lockhart Hummer that aired during tonight's episode of ER, titled "Impulse Control" - they made a very good point of slamming Hummer because of the damage that they can do to other cars. A guy had a heart attack and crashed into a family, killing most of 'em, and the guy was worried about his new car more than his own health situation, let alone that of the people he injured/killed.

i'm thinking Lockhart Hummer (if anyone from their organization saw this episode) will be asking for at least a partial refund on the money they spent on advertising...

good little pancreas...

today's trip to the endocrinologist was a good one - my hemoglobin a1c was 6.6 (surprising, since i haven't been very good about checking my sugars lately), my cholesterol's doing very well, everything seems fine and dandy. well, except for the weight thing - i need to lose some weight.

dr. priscu is quite a woman - i was telling her about my unemployment and how hard it is to find a job and she was telling me about coming from romania years ago and not being able to practice medicine when she got here because she didn't know english, but that there were plenty of jobs for people - if you wanted to work, finding a job was not a problem. but it's just not that way nowadays - she never imagined the US would be in the shape that it is now. she also came out very anti-war as well - it's interesting to learn some of the more personal aspects of doctors, especially when they align with my own political beliefs. *8-)

omigod, they're HUGE!!!

errr, the title refers to my PUPILS, ya pervert! *8-) the opthamologist dilated my eyes during my appointment today - wouldn't ya know it'd be the first sunny day we've had in weeks. i was sans sunglasses, and the drive home was literally painful - i squinted all the way...

doc wants me to up the vitamins and lutein since he's seeing more changes to my macula, as well as my having an increased risk of a torn or damaged retina - ugh. as many problems as mom's had with her vision, i know to take good care of my eyes.

i asked the doc about contacts - since i'm nearsighted, i don't have to have the glasses on 24/7, and i have a tendency to leave them off when i really should probably be wearing them. maybe contacts would remedy the situation, tho dr. alig says that i shouldn't wear them when i sleep. the chicks in the office said he doesn't recommend that for anyone, but he said particularly in my case, wearing em overnight would be a bad idea. regardless, my insurance mandates i go somewhere else (probably target) for contacts, so i wanna look into the costs before i make a decision there...

miscellaneous stuff and thangs...

i've noticed i haven't put much personal stuff in the ol' blog lately, so i'm gonna try to remedy that. i suppose the main reason being i'm in a funk and i just haven't been DOING anything, so there's not much to report...

the job search isn't going all that well - there just doesn't seem to be anything out there for me. believe me, i'm looking anywhere and everywhere...

yesterday i went to the license branch, to get a new plate for my car - can't afford the extra $40 for the Indiana Arts Commission plate this year, so it's back to a plain ol' Indiana plate. i was flabbergasted when i got to the license branch - no wait! i was next in line! woo hoo! so i sit down at the desk and wouldn't ya know it - THE WHOLE COMPUTER NETWORK CRASHED, statewide. i hung out for a while and eventually it came back up and i got my plate - i knew it was impossible to go to the BMV without waiting at least half an hour!!

last week was the end of my physical therapy for the tendonitis in my right hand - it's weird not having that regular appointment two or three times a week now. of course, i've managed to fill this week up with other appointments - today it's the annual eye exam, tomorrow's the therapist, thursday's the endocrinologist.

gonna talk to the eye doc about contacts - don't know much about 'em, but i know that i have a tendency not to wear my glasses but that my nearsightedness seems to be getting worse to the point that i should wear them all the time - perhaps doing the extended-wear contacts will remedy the situation. *shrug*

mom signed us up for membership at the YMCA - now we need to get into the schedule of actually GOING and getting some exercise. i was all psyched to go last night, then she cancelled because she had a headache. shoulda gone without her, but i wimped out. they just recently moved everything in to the Y when all the renovations were done after the tornado, so it's pretty spiffy now.

more later, i hafta get ready for the doc!

great photoshopping...

love this pic:

Fab Five to the Oval Office, ASAP...

you know...you'd think that, with as many people as he's got pulling his strings, at least ONE of them woulda stepped forward and suggested that Dubya actually wear a pair of pants that FIT when appearing on Meet The Press.



well, at least he had tall socks on, eh?

FUH2.com

FUH2.com's an interesting site - i must say, when i see a Hummer parked in the Target parking lot, i have to wonder...

weird fact o de day...

According to the National Institutes of Health, the average person passes intestinal gas from 14 to 23 times a day and produces about 1 to 3 pints of the stuff.

of course, farkers had lots of comments to make about that statistic...

(that's farkers with a K - not a T) *8-)

not my type, per se, but okay...

Ted: Food & Wine Connoisseur


Which Member from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is your type?
brought to you by Quizilla

big sister to the rescue

spent yesterday being big sister to adam, shuttling him around town since his car died on the interstate. the doofus left his blinkers on overnight, so in addition to the gas line probably being frozen (he left the car almost empty during the big freeze here while he went off to mexico) the battery was toast as well. my jumper cables couldn't resurrect the car, so off to AAA to get him signed up - i explained that it'd cost as much as the tow and he'd have the membership for a whole year. well, they charged him an extra $25 since he needed the car towed right away. i'm not automotively inclined in the least, but i do know that when it's this freaking cold out you don't leave the gas tank almost empty and you don't leave your blinkers running for 12+ hours. so now his car's in our driveway, he's gonna get it figured out when he gets back from europe - he leaves this weekend and will be gone 3 weeks or so...

heh heh heh...

if you're looking for a gift for your valentine, check this out...

happy Groundhog Day!

Punxsutawney Phil better be forecasting a short winter - this cold weather crap is OLD.

Mystic River

mom and i went and saw Mystic River yesterday - ehhh, i don't think i quite got it. it was okay, i'd say 2.5 stars - definitely not the 4 roger ebert gave it.

guess i'm not the only one...

bro stopped by today, and he's in a funk - so i guess it's not just me. he's got a gig in mexico and he doesn't wanna go, but he knows he has to do it for business reasons. i think i cheered him up a bit byy telling him the weather's gonna be in the 70's while he's there, instead of this freezing cold snowy shit we've got goin on here.

as for my funk, i just don't have any energy - i just want to sleep all the time. i suppose all the job hunting i'm doing is the reason for the depression - i'm looking really hard for a new job and just not finding anything. it's so frustrating.

kinda weird, but what the hell...

now you can donate to your presidential candidate via amazon.com

Today's the day...

...to celebrate the 4th annual National Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day!!

the golden globes...

rock on! Charlize Theron won for her role in Monster! i watched the awards specifically to see that award - hadn't watched em before...i know they're sort of the red-headed stepchild of the Oscars/Emmys, but much more laid back - a very enjoyable awards show to watch, i must say...

seeing all the awards and clips makes me want to go see a bunch o movies now....

the 2004 mitsubishi galant...

so i got a postcard in the mail on friday from mitsubishi - test drive their car, get a cd of the tunes from their commercials, and a card to mail in for a free $25 AmEx card. never one to turn down a freebie, i did it today...not too impressed with the car, but i must say, i do like the music they pick for their commercials...

woah...

just got back from a movie - mom and i went to see Monster - woah. i agree with Roger Ebert's assessment - he gave it 4 stars and said, "Jenkins, the writer-director, has made the best film of the year." Charlize Theron's portrayal of Aileen Wuornos is freakin' spellbinding - she really got into the head of this serial killer. I think Theron deserves an Oscar (a nomination at the very least) for her portrayal. i suppose i've been prejudiced against her - i haven't watched her movies, just based on her looks and what little i knew of her - being a former model and such. after seeing her in Monster, i wanna check out more of her movies though.

CBS sucks ass...

seems to me, if a group's gonna pay your exorbitant ad rates for advertising during the super bowl, it shouldn't matter what the hell's being advertised. CBS Shuns PETA, MoveOn Super Bowl Ads - they don't wanna run controversial (ie liberal) ads....hrmmm, we'll see how non-controversial those super bowl ads are on Feb. 1....

Twenty bucks...

after rebates, that's the cost of my new LASER PRINTER. now i can really crank out the resumes and cover letters!

what the hell is he thinking?!?

okay, so the economy's in the crapper, but things are supposedly getting better, thanks to all of dubya's tax cuts for rich people and all...trickle trickle trickle...good thing we've been cutting all those taxes, now we'll have more money to spend!

now dubya wants another billion for NASA and space travel (definitely a good thing, but it's on the "WANT" list rather than the "NEED" list)...even more ridiculous, dubya wants a billion and a half to promote heterosexual marriage. c'mon now, if it's so freakin' wonderful, why do we need to spent billions of dollars promoting it??!!??

it makes it very clear who dubya's looking out for - himself. he's gotta get the votes of big business (which are certain to benefit from all this freaking spending) and Christian conservatives and these are the ways to go about it. and let's not forget dubya's eagerness to make all the illegal aliens legal just in time for the elections...

ugh, what an asshole.

totally cool sidewalk art...

Sidewalk chalk drawings

music...

so, the article i read about allanah currie has sent me into a tailspin, digging up the ol' 80's music - the Thompson Twins were responsible for the best album of all time, after all - Side Kicks (as it's known here in the States) is a masterpiece...now i'm kazaaing all the kick-ass stuff from the late 80's - early 90's: The The, Erasure, New Order, Electronic, Pet Shop Boys and more...

i didn't come up with much of a Best Of 2003 list as far as music goes because i didn't hear much good stuff out there - Barenaked Ladies just sort of won by default...

not seeing the forest for the trees...

so i come across this article about Alannah Currie, from the Thompson Twins - apparently she's now leading a group called MADGE - Mothers Against Genetic Engineering - you'd think they coulda come up with a D word to stick in there, but oh well...

some of the actions they've pulled off are pretty cool, but it seems kinda weird - read the article and ya find out that while she's against genetic engineering, she's a smoker and drives a Jeep Grand Cherokee...seems like a big contradiction there...(granted, my disdain for SUV's has turned into out-and-out DISGUST after reading High and mighty : SUVs--the world's most dangerous vehicles and how they got that way, but that's a topic for another post...)

my "Tonight Show" debut...

as far as i'm concerned, there's only one reason to watch the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, and that's Headlines. Perhaps it's because of my background as a typesetter, but i find that shit to be hysterical. well, a couple of months ago i was at kroger and found some rather amusing products for sale in the bakery. So, i "borrowed" the sign and mailed it in to Jay Leno, and he put it on the show:



obviously, someone doesn't watch Nickelodeon or they'd know it's SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS... *8-) or perhaps it was just printed up by a sick bastard that wondered if anyone would even notice...

colder than a witch's tit...

...i think that's the official forecast. currently 14° F, windchill of 1° F, high today of 26° F. brrrrrrrrrrrr!

people with cell phone cams putting them to use...

Send pics directly from your camera-phone to pics@mobog.com and they will be displayed within 1 minute
mobog.com - the comments people make are rather amusing...

the Best Of 2003, continued...

music....well, lemme say i was thoroughly unimpressed with most of what was released in 2003...most of what i bought and/or downloaded consisted of greatest hits type cd's and music from long ago...

BEST CD: Everything to Everyone, Barenaked Ladies. It took a while before I actually started liking this CD, much like Maybe You Should Drive - just seemed waaaay too serious. But it's been growing on me...

BEST WEBSITE: Friendster's been a rather amusing way to get to know people - when the damned thing's up and running...

honorable mention: TotalFark is definitely worth the fifty bucks a year it costs to see all the links submitted to Fark, and getting a jump start on Photoshop contests is spiffy too!

"Stuck on You"

adam and i went to see "Stuck on You" this evening - cute movie...roger ebert's review was right on...the cameo appearances were pretty cool, particularly frankie muniz and meryl streep

hrmm....

Take the What Should Your New Year's Resolution Be? Quiz

the Best Of 2003, continued...

more bests of 2003, a little more personally relevant to me and me alone:

BEST medical procedure: the Vagus Nerve Stimulator surgery on March 17, 2003 was pretty spiffy - the VNS isn't working as well as i'd like, but there's still chance for significant improvement...as far as neurosurgeons go, Dr. Young's great...(granted, he's the ONLY neurosurgeon i've had, but i've definitely got no complaints)

honorable mention: Hurrle Orthopedic Physical Therapy's treatments for the tendonitis and carpal tunnel in my right hand - the cortisone shot at the hand surgeon didn't seem to help much, but the moist heat wraps and ultrasound has made things a lot better - i hadn't realized just how much things hurt before and think i overlooked the pain more than i should have...


BEST prescription medication: the Vicodin prescribed after the aforementioned surgery and during other trips to the emergency room - the sensation of being drunk, without all the booze! yeah, i guess i could see how people (Matthew Perry, for instance) get hooked on taking this stuff recreationally...

Lori's List - the Best Of 2003

hell, everybody else does it, why can't i? let's recap some of the highlights of 2003...

let's start with pop culture stuff....

BEST tv show: is it too cliche to say Queer Eye For The Straight Guy - yeah, they're taking a bit of the "real" out of "reality tv" and some people complain that it promotes stereotypes of gay (and straight) men, but it's just so damned good...

honorable mention: Survivor: Pearl Islands (go Rupert!)


BEST tv channel: hafta give this one to Bravo - with Queer Eye, Boy Meets Boy (an interesting spin in the monotonous world of reality dating shows), Celebrity Poker Showdown - they've got some good original programming and reruns of West Wing and the Restaurant are cool too...

honorable mention: gotta love Court TV! and i think TNT and USA oughta give up on their rerunning episodes of Law & Order and Law & Order SVU and let's just create a freakin Law & Order Channel! hell, between all the franchises i'm sure there's more than enough episodes to fill a schedule - if not, run CSI and the Practice on the weekends. *8-)


BEST tv character: The Practice has sadly jumped the shark, but the addition of James Spader to the cast, as evil slimy lawyer Alan Shore is one of the few reasons left to continue watching.


BEST talk show host: Ellen DeGeneres - ellen made setting the VCR timer a requirement - even if i don't watch the show all the time, taping it means there's always something funny to watch...


more when i think of 'em...

MERRIAM-WEBSTER'S WORDS OF THE YEAR 2003

2003's top ten words:

what the hell does it say about us that the most looked-up word this year is DEMOCRACY?

Christmas et al...

holidays were nice, i suppose - monday i went to my physical therapy appointment and once i got there it was pretty obvious that i wasn't in my right mind. kind of embarrassing, realizing you're wearing your clothes inside out AFTER you get somewhere. so we didn't go through with the physical therapy - we called my mom and she came from work and picked me up and took me to the hospital. not sure if i had a seizure or not, but woke up with the most god awful evil bastard from hell headache. it still hasn't totally gone away. so they didn't find anything suspect at the emergency room and sent me home. i'm just tired as all hell, and my brain's just scrambled. i muddled through christmas though, had a nice enough time.