argh, building the VNS website is gonna kill me, or i'm gonna kill a machine or four in the process...wish i could jump into the time machine and go back to college and go into comp sci...

VNS Update - It's been a really muggy day out there. High temps and high humidity. Those two factors collide to give me some difficulties breathing (aka dyspnea). I've not had breathing problems before the VNS surgery, which is a bit surprising considering the difficulties my mom and brother have had with asthma (although mom's may also be related to her cystic fibrosis as well) but after the surgery I had complications, including atelectasis that made breathing very difficult. That cleared up, but when the heat and humidity get to be overbearing, I find myself getting out of breath very easily.

Otherwise, things seem to be going well - no seizures. Still slightly paranoid cuz i don't notice the pulsing as much, but at my appointment to see the neurologist on Friday we'll check everything out to make sure all's still good - if that's the case, it's back to work Monday!

pics of adam in australia (beware, they're high res) - http://www.squarenine.com.au/adamjay/

time to return books to the library and pick up a new batch...

returning:

The Clinton Wars - by Sidney Blumenthal - didn't get around to reading it and it's apparently on hold for someone else, so i couldn't renew it - maybe some other time...

Skin flutes & velvet gloves : a collection of facts and fancies, legends and oddities about the body's private parts - by Terri Hamilton - this was such an interesting book I bought two copies of it on amazon - one for me, one for greg. i knew greg would love this book of weird trivia about penises and vaginas (definitely more penis-centric, but interesting nonetheless.)

The wisdom of the enneagram : the complete guide to psychological and spiritual growth for the nine personality types - Don Richard Riso - gonna hafta buy this one so i can write in the margins - very cool book.

Leaving reality behind : etoy vs eToys.com & other battles to control cyberspace - by Adam Wishart - definitely a case of you can't judge a book by it's cover. very interesting, but really it's two separate books, one about etoy and one about etoys.com, then a bit at the end about the fight over the domain name. don't know where the "other battles" portion of the book is - i was expecting stuff about things like the fight over nissan.com - the computer guy with the last name of Nissan vs. Nissan motors. i'm very interested in etoy.com tho - weird guys, dunno if i like em or not.

Arch - book of photos of Andy Goldsworthy's art. after seeing Rivers and Tides, i've found myself very interested in Goldsworthy's stuff.

Google hacks : [100 industrial-strength tips & tools] - too industrial strength for me, tho i did learn a few interesting things.

101 survival secrets : how to make $1,000,000, lose 100 pounds, and just plain live happily - by Rich Hatch, winner of Survivor. i was amazed and how intelligent this guy is - a surprisingly interesting read.

Kill duck before serving : red faces at The New York Times : a collection of the newspaper's most interesting, embarrassing and off-beat corrections - by Tom Bloom - funny, but it's more of an article than a book: there's lots of filler in this one.

No logo : taking aim at the brand bullies - by Naomi Klein - found this in doing a search for culture jamming, didn't get to read the whole thing, maybe another time...

Second acts : creating the life you really want, building the career you truly desire - Stephen M. Pollan - no time to read this one, maybe another time...

Your own worst enemy : breaking the habit of adult underachievement - Kenneth Christian - no time to read this one either, maybe another time...

just saw Daddy and Them on showtime - what a weird fucking movie.

my bro's over in Australia this week, and he's in the papers and such over there...

here's a quote from him in an article at inthemix.com:
“I don't believe that I have necessarily established my own sound, nor do I want to. I do alot of aggressive techno as well as some lighter funky synth pieces. If there would have to be a running theme in my music though, I would say that it is constant motion. A track has to keep moving naturally, and this is the main reason I record in real-time. All of the compositional changes and EQ or filter tweaks that you hear in my tracks are done on the fly. I really cannot think of another way to work and I believe that this approach is a true asset to my sound.”

question of the day:

how is it that nipple piercing is a mortal sin under Commandment #5 - Thou shall not kill???

i have this amazing knack for having things pop up AFTER i have a visit to the doctor...monday afternoon i saw her to talk about the weirdness going on with my feet - the skin's peeling off of the bottoms, and the diabetic lori knows that's not a good thing. being rather attached to my feet and wanting to keep them for as long as possible, i went to the doc. it's not athlete's foot - nothing goin on in between my toes or anything like that - but she told me to keep em moisturized with some tinactin and follow up with a podiatrist (which i need to do anyhoo)...so i go to the pharmacy, get stuff and go home...put the stuff on my feet...later that evening, i find my legs are covered in bumps. itchy scratchy bumps - argh! only below the knee, and not actually on my feet though. what the hell?!?!? nothing that was noticeable at the doc's office - it's definitely noticeable now! so, just in case it was a reaction to the tinactin (doubt it, since my feet are bumpless) i quit using that. so here it is thursday and the stuff is still all over my legs, still itching like crazy...

and wouldn't ya know the doc's not in the office today - so i answered 247 questions from the nurse and she's gonna call back.

mom mentioned the P word when we were talking about potential rX's for this stuff - oh dear god, not prednisone! yeah, i know it's a good thing as far as knocking stuff out, but the side effects suck ass...

*itch* *scratch* argh!

how hysterical is this - dave barry mentions on his blog that he's going on vacation...so instead of reading his blog, we should all go to www.poetry.com:

"...Aspiring poets can go there and submit poems in the poetry contest, and maybe even -- incredibly -- have their poems selected for inclusion in heirloom-quality-bound volumes that are -- What are the odds of this? -- for sale!

So anyway, this blog was just thinking how interesting it would be if a whole bunch of people submitted poems that contained a certain key poetic phrase. To see how it might work, this blog submitted a poem under the pen name of "Freemont A. Harkins," entitled: "A Sad Day."

...

You can see this poem at www.poetry.com, using the search engine to search for "Freemont Harkins." Wouldn't it be fun if a lot of people submitted poems using a Pen Name that began with "Freemont" and incorporating the phrase, "the dog ate mother's toes"? Then we all could search for poems written under the first name of "Freemont" -- currently, this blog is the only one -- and see how creative everybody was!""



there are literally HUNDREDS of entries there now...i'm particularly fond of Freemont Q. Sundt's poem, "The Dog":

The Dog

My dog is quite a strange dog
Not too normal, I suppose
Last Thursday, for example
That old dog ate mother's toes

He bit them off ferociously
And fried them up in oil
He covered them in chocolate
Then he dusted them with soil

And I must give him some credit
Though my mother's hopping mad
I tried them with some salsa
And they're really not half bad

Freemont Q. Sundt

Cool - Tattoos for kids!!! BabyInk.com

(for those that enjoy sites such as Bonsai Kitten)

awww shit - i fell asleep this evening and woke up just in time to see that the vcr had crapped out and didn't tape barbara walters's interview with angelina jolie!

oooh eeee! she is a hottie. and i'll definitely make the offer to her to be her baby's daddy if she ever shows up at my doorstep - c'mon angie, i'm waitin for ya!

i did, however, manage to be awake for dateline nbc's story tonight about neurontin - creepy. i took it as a seizure med years ago, and found it strange when robin at work told me she was taking it as a pain blocker. maybe it doesn't really block the pain? hmmmm...

woo hoo - today's lori's annual check-up at the gyn! or is that the vet? perhaps lori's going to the vet, cuz she's getting her "kitty" examined - what's with moms these days telling their young girls that their vagina's called a "kitty"? i suppose it's cute (and i've never been one for the V word anyways - doesn't do the actual thing justice, imnsho) but i just have to laugh when they do it...

woah - Youker: The Euchre Drinking Game

After seeing the new designs recently released by Big Dogs, I've sent them a letter:

I'm a long time customer, having enjoyed your t-shirts and boxer shorts for years. However, perusing the web site, I've noticed the new stuff seems to be a lot more negative - the parodies are funny, but some stuff just leaves me feeling uncomfortable.

Take, for instance, the Exit Only boxers - item 46016920 - is Big Dogs anti-gay? That's certainly the impression I get when I see items like this. Hey, I'm not one for anal sex myself, but seeing that design really bothered me - if your company is against homosexuals, I'd like you to tell me that specifically, and you will lose me (not to mention my friends and family) as a customer. If you're NOT against homosexuals (granted, anal sex isn't just for the gay boys, but that's certainly the impression one gets looking at that design - it feels specifically anti-gay) then I'd like to hear that as well.

Add in to the mix that I seem to see more and more of the hetereosexual innuendo in the T-shirts & Boxers (ie "Wax My Woody" and "I Want a Heine") and it seems like the new releases are less mature and not as clever as they've been in the past - going with crude, base humor to make a quick buck.

And what's with all the fart humor in the new designs for boxers? Yeah, one or two different designs are cute, but when that's most of what you offer in your new releases, you're cutting out a lot of potential customers.

Please respond to this email and let me know your corporate policies regarding gays and lesbians. I will no longer make purchases for myself or friends & family nor will I recommend products from your company until I hear from you.

Thanks for your consideration.

Lori Beth

a good resource for all those that are intriqued by the death trifecta that says famous people die in threes: Famous Deaths - fark's been goin crazy the past couple of weeks, what with the deaths of Buddy Ebsen, Barry White, Katharine Hepburn, Buddy Hackett and others...

there's also the Dead People Server to check too...

Interesting article:
In A Wal-Mart Kind Of Hell
Censored magazines, banned music and pseudo-Christian fun at America's scariest retailer

Last year, after reading a variety of articles about the nasty shit wally world does as a corporation, i decided it wasn't worth my conscience to save a little money on an oil change or presents for x-mas - so i haven't set foot in a Wal-Mart since last year.

i found it interesting that someone (from a queer list - can't even remember now where the email came from) mentioned that now that Wal-Mart has included queers in their discrimination policy, we can now shop there. errr, no - i wasn't boycotting Wal-Mart for that reason - their use of sweatshops and human rights abuses are a much bigger issue as i see it, not to mention the issues of censorship and how they mold and alter american culture...

suppose i should add in a disclaimer that i'm a former wal-mart employee - i worked there as a teenager - never had problems such as are being mentioned now with mandatory overtime and being forced to work off the clock, but who knows how different things are now than they were over a decade ago...

VNS Update - Getting paranoid cuz i don't notice the pulsing as much, but i really do think it's going off when it should - if only i knew how it was that it was changed before, perhaps i wouldn't be so paranoid about it now. *shrug*...

lying on my left side (the side that they implanted the VNS) since the pulse was upped to .75 makes the earache thing happen a lot more often...annoying, but hey, i'd take that over having a seizure any day...

still taking the 300mg dilantin and 2000mg keppra each day - reducing the dilantin is making it easier to stay awake for longer periods of time - i look forward to the day i'm totally off the stuff...

well july 4th came and went - not much goin on - crappy weather around town put a damper on some events, but thankfully we planned our july 4th celebration for july 5th. let's just hope the weather's better.

perhaps one of the reasons it didn't seem like a "holiday" to me is that i've been off work for almost 3 weeks now, all the days sort of run into each other. it's also interesting to see how fewer places are closing for the holiday - Ace hardware was open...couldn't get a haircut (argh!) cuz most of those places were closed, but if i needed a screwdriver or light switch, it was all good!

Chokin Chikin - it's like the hillbilly version of The Price Is Right's PLINKO!

bummer. sometimes ya come across a little fact that just leaves a bad vibe...

“Unauthorized duplication, while sometimes necessary, is never as good as the real thing.” - that's been on Ani Difranco's CDs ever since the beginning - hell it was on Ani Difranco (aka "The First Album"), which originally was only available on cassette...

i've generally held to that standard - tho i have downloaded things from napster and kazaa and such, most of what i've downloaded is stuff that i've actually purchased, or things that have introduced me to new people and encouraged purchases that i never would've made, had i not downloaded a track or two on recommendation from a friend...

so why the fuck is it that ms. difranco's label, Righteous Babe Records, is a member of the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) ?!?!?!?!??????

reading some anti-RIAA website about not purchasing anything from RIAA labels led me to that page - what a surprise to see that Righteous Babe Records was there...

well whaddaya know - Hormel's suing a company that makes Spam-blocking software...

..."Hormel argued that it has engendered "substantial goodwill and good reputation" in connection with its trademarked lunch meat and related products that would be damaged by Spam Arrest's use of the term. The company added that Spam Arrest's name so closely resembles that of its lunch meat that the public might become confused, or might think that Hormel endorses Spam Arrest's products."...

i saw something when i was at OfficeMax last week that looks more infringing than the Spam Arrest website - damned if i can't remember what it was called, but it started with Span and the logo resembled a Spam can...

we'll hafta see how the Spike Lee trial affects this case, or vice versa...

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reckon i oughta go see the movie sometime, since apparently i'm the only person that hasn't...

holy hypocrisy! strom thurmond has a black daughter?!?!?!

Newsweek's cover story this week is entitled "Is Gay Marriage Next?" - they published 2 different covers, one with a couple o boys, one with a couple o girls:



now how did they know to mail me the one with the lesbos on the cover? *8-)

The Pledge of Resistance - powerful stuff.

We believe that as people living
in the United States it is our
responsibility to resist the injustices
done by our government,
in our names

Not in our name
will you wage endless war
there can be no more deaths
no more transfusions
of blood for oil

Not in our name
will you invade countries
bomb civilians, kill more children
letting history take its course
over the graves of the nameless

Not in our name
will you erode the very freedoms
you have claimed to fight for

Not by our hands
will we supply weapons and funding
for the annihilation of families
on foreign soil

Not by our mouths
will we let fear silence us

Not by our hearts
will we allow whole peoples
or countries to be deemed evil

Not by our will
and Not in our name

We pledge resistance

We pledge alliance with those
who have come under attack
for voicing opposition to the war
or for their religion or ethnicity

We pledge to make common cause
with the people of the world
to bring about justice,
freedom and peace

Another world is possible
and we pledge to make it real.

cool - adam's coming over for dinner tomorrow so we can test out the new kabob thangy that mom got me for the grill!!!

"FYI: If you put "George W. Bush" and "lies" into the Google search engine, you get 250,000 references in nine-tenths of a second." - Molly Ivins, June 26, 2003

VNS Update - Followup visit to the neurologist today...he plugged in the computer, did the diagnostic check on the VNS - no problems like last time, still up and running at .75 every 5 minutes. whew, that's a relief. i still wish i knew what the hell it was that altered the settings last time!!!

so, finding that the machinery was all good, we moved on to talking about the pharmaceuticals - told him about how it seems that the Keppra is kicking my ass, and he reminded me that i'm still taking most of the Dilantin that i was on before the Keppra (taking 400 mg instead of 500 mg, but that's still a fair dose)...being tired is definitely to be expected, since i'm on all these drugs...so he agreed that more time off work was warranted - he wants me off for 3 more weeks! so i'll be reducing my dilantin by 100mg every 10 days - had to write it all out in my date book, because i know there's no way i'm gonna remember it otherwise!

told him about the website and he said he'd mention it to his other patients if i wanted him to - that's giving me incentive to get some work done on it...

Set the VCR!

Barbara Walters interviews Angelina Jolie

20/20 -- In a revealing interview, Angelina Jolie speaks candidly to Barbara Walters about her controversial life on 20/20 airing FRIDAY, JULY 11 (10-11 pm, ET). During the one-hour interview, Jolie opens up about her high profile, yet short-lived marriage to bad boy actor Billy Bob Thornton; her adopted Cambodian baby; the publicized rift with her father, actor Jon Voight; her affair with a woman; and her obsession with death, among other topics.



dammit, and i told her to keep it hush-hush about the two of us. ;-)

a while back steph mentioned in her blog talking to me about setting up a Mutual Friends Flash Mob - i'm not sure how successful it would be here in Naptown, but it could potentially be cool - here's an article from Wired Magazine about a flash mob in NYC...

where to have something like that here? hmmmmmmmmmm....

and if steph and i organize something like this, perhaps we should just go all out and establish a lodge here in indy - a new chapter of the Cacophony Society...

i must admit, i've had a few ideas for mutual friends activities rolling around in my head, but i just don't have the energy to implement them these days - side effect from the keppra? not sure...off to the neurologist tomorrow!

High court strikes down gay-sex ban

"As recently as 1960, every state had an anti-sodomy law. In 37 states, the statutes have been repealed by lawmakers or blocked by state courts.

Of the 13 states with sodomy laws, four — Texas, Kansas, Oklahoma and Missouri — prohibit oral and anal sex between same- sex couples. The other nine ban consensual sodomy for everyone: Alabama, Florida, Idaho, Louisiana, Mississippi, North Carolina, South Carolina, Utah and Virginia.

Today’s ruling apparently invalidates those laws as well."

well, now that sodomy's legal in texas, hey dubya - GO FUCK YOURSELF!

FARKin-a! about time, the Indy Fark Party is happening! now i just hafta decide if i really wanna meet these crazy farkers...

i think maybe Steph's dog Spike should file an amicus curiae (aka "friend of the court" - damn, guess i did learn something in Latin class!) brief in this whole Spike Lee vs. Spike TV thang - it'd be interesting to hear his take on the whole thing...granted, he might hafta dictate it to Steph and have her type it all up - something tells me he's not a good typist. ;-)

this friendster thing is...

hell, i don't know what it is...but seeing the friends of some friends and the amount of weirdness that abounds in those friends makes me wonder if i'm as weird as all the other friends of my friends...

VNS Update - these updates will be moving soon, to the new website, once i get it up and running...

the boost up to .75 mA has been a big change - it's a lot more noticeable than .50 was...i seem to have become a bit paranoid about making sure the thing's going off - since i didn't know why or how it got reset before, i want to make sure it doesn't happen again. using the magnet will give me a 1.0 mA pulse which causes a pain in my ear while it's going off - very uncomfortable, but hey, i guess it's better than having a seizure!

it always seems to go off while i'm on the phone - i guess that should be expected, since it is supposed to go off every 5 minutes - but i haven't yet learned to use the magnet to stop the pulsing so that i can talk and people can actually hear me. i guess it's because i think of the magnet as an activator for the VNS, and not as a way to STOP the VNS - they told me if i needed to talk for an extended period or if it was painful that i should tape the magnet over my incision so that the VNS won't pulse, but that just weirds me out a bit - i had the danged thing put in so that it WOULD pulse, why would i wanna stop it from doing so?!?!?

the keppra's still kicking my ass - at least i think it's the keppra...i'm just so damned tired all the time! i've been awake for about an hour now, and already i'm ready for a nap...see the neurologist on friday, we'll see what he has to say...

Lori is a Rhubarb-Eating Vampire Monkey ...with a Battle Rating of 5.1 To see if your Food-Eating Battle Monkey can defeat Lori, enter your name:

i don't really eat rhubarb, tho we did have some growing behind the barn at the house i lived in growing up...the neighbors always took it to make pie...maybe i should try it sometime....

i wonder if there are enough weird freaky people in Mutual Friends that would be interested in getting together to try a game of Blank White Cards - I have the issue of Games Magazine that has the article about it, somewhere...i think it'd be a cool way for people to express their creativity and sense of humor - not really a competitive game (tho i suppose it could be, if everyone did assign point values to their cards) but just a hang out and get to know people by what they draw sort of thing - kind of like the CD mixers i've organized, where i got to know people a little better by listening to the music they share with other people...

more links about the game:

http://steaky.dhs.org/chorus/cards.html

http://www.trouserarousal.nu/cards/

http://www.virelai.net/cards/about.html

http://www.metafilter.com/comments.mefi/21088

Steph mentioned this on her site, let's see if it's good for anything: Friendster...

Friendster is an online community that connects people through networks of friends for dating or making new friends.

Friendster is for people who are single, people in relationships, and anyone who wants to make new friends or help their friends meet new people.

You can use Friendster to:

* Meet new people to date, through your friends and their friends
* Make new friends
* Help your friends meet new people

Once you join Friendster, you will be automatically connected to Lori, and all of Lori's friends.

Click below to join Friendster:
http://www.friendster.com/join.jsp?invite=742945

You are a Lava Lamp.


What Fruity Object Are You?
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You are a Bunny!


What kind of furry are you?
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hafta check out this potentially interesting site later: www.seeyageorge.com

VNS Update - so i ordered the cow magnets online, figured i'd give my business to a small company here in indiana - TrainTown Hobbies and Crafts in Batesville. apparently that was a bad move on my part - if this had been an ebay transaction, they would've gotten NEGATIVE feedback.

i ordered one package of 2 cow magnets and two sets of "Moo Magnets" - a cow magnet activity kit. ordered online, using my credit card. the total on the final order was 25.80 plus tax and shipping.

the package arrived today - i got one package of 2 cow magnets (ALREADY OPENED and then stapled back together... but wait - their friggin return policy says "merchandise must be unopened" to return it), ONE of the sets of Moo Magnets and then two electric motor kits. what the hell?!?!?!? i looked back in the history in Explorer and never even LOOKED at this page with the electric motors on it.

so the paperwork included with the box says i ordered the one pkg of 2 cow magnets, one Moo Magnet set, and two motor kits - all subtotaled to be $43.83, then with shipping (and NO sales tax, which i knew i had to pay since i AM in indiana) the grand total was $51.78. this is DOUBLE what the website told me i was ordering in the first place!!!!!!!

i've tried calling them numerous times before - they NEVER have answered their toll-free line, i always get the machine. so i called the long distance number today - not gonna answer that one either. arrrrrrrrrrgh! why bother setting store hours if you're not gonna be there to answer the fucking phone?

*UPDATE* - well, they called back, apparently something weird's goin on with their computer, because they got another order from me today...i'm still cranky about the whole thing, but if they refund my credit card properly (including the postage he said he'd credit me for to return the motors) i'll be less cranky...said he didn't charge me sales tax because he doesn't get many in-state orders - better watch out buddy, the IRS will come after ya...i suppose i should cut him a little slack because he's just selling toy choo-choo trains, he doesn't realize that my order was a medical necessity...

alrighty, i know what i want for my birthday! on september 30, i want a trip to chicago to see eddie izzard's new show, SEXiE! i can't think of a cooler way to spend a birthday!

speaking of SPAM, the SPAMMOBILE is coming to Indy in July!! It's gonna be here for Black Expo the 18th-20th?!?! It'll also be at the Kroger near 10th & Shadeland on the eastside on the 29th - maybe i'll get adam and codi to go see it, since that's right in their neighborhood...

ya know, something's occured to me...if Spike Lee ultimately wins his case against Spike TV - er, TNN, that is, at least till september - that will set a precedent for other people and companies that have had their names used for other purposes...take SPAM, for instance - will Hormel be able to sue everyone that's ever referred to junk email as spam?

from the Department of Obvious: Blue French Fries are Stupid.

Yummy - a FREE A&W root beer float!

slate's got a review (with slide show) of what looks to be an interesting book: Lapdancer by Juliana Beasley...

okay, you're gonna hafta pick me up off the floor now - it appears that the Indy Public Library is actually ordering this book!!!!! i plunked it into the search just as a joke and they've got it in the computer! what a surprise!

[take the test] - [by krystaljungle.com]

VNS Update - is the Keppra making me tired all the time, or is there something else going on? seems like all i've done is sleep or be tired lately...hell, even sitting at the computer and checking my email leaves me feeling drained...*yawn*

it's occured to me that i may be inflicting some strangeness on fellow postal customers - i ordered a couple of cow magnets online and they're gonna be shipped to me...i doubt that TrainTown Hobbies & Crafts in Batesville Indiana is gonna use any special packaging to ship these magnets - will my package be deactivating credit cards and such that other people will be getting in the mail at the same time?!?!? tis an interesting question....

ya know, this is just a little too creepy...sounds like stuff the tinfoil hat people are constantly complaining about, but snopes says it's pretty much true:

Wal-Mart and Gillette are trying out products embedded with RFID tracking chips.

those wacky Norwegians!

Norway's Department of Culture responded immediately to complaints about games available on Norwegian Broadcasting's (NRK) web site for youth, NRK Upunkt

...

The offending material consists of pages containing two games, "Karate's Licking Game" and "Masturbate with horny Are" on NRK's youth site Upunkt.

The banner for the licking game features naked buttocks and arrays of small red penis creatures. The directions are colorful as well.

"Lick the small penises but watch out for the big ones with feet! Odin is Karate's very horny little mascot that keeps flying out of the sky to lick dick. Now you can be Odin in the funny and erotic Licking Game," the page explains.

"In the Licking Game the idea is to lick as many dicks as you can. You cough vaseline to get springier and you have to watch out for the thick nasty penises, land mines and nasty tits. Good Luck!" concludes the instructions.

The Licking Game had only been online for two days, but the 'Masturbate with horny Are', where players try to give a program host sexual relief, is NRK's second most popular Internet feature. The site also features the "Mujaffa Game", where a Pakistani-type hero commits various offences, which also created widespread controversy when it first appeared.

Are Nundal, editor of NRK's web site, confirmed that he approved both of the controversial games.

"This is part of a radio program with caricature figures. The users of Upunkt are used to the form of irony used. This is part of their poking fun at our conceptions of sex. It is innocent and has nothing to do with pornography," Nundal told VG.

VNS Update - the 0.75 mA setting is a lot more noticeable than .50 was...

there are changes to my voice - i find myself becoming hoarse or losing it completely for a few seconds - not the "Bea Arthur after a testosterone shot" effect that another VNS patient described, but i can understand what i was reading from other patients about the voice change - at first i thought they were exaggerating quite a bit, now i realize they must've had it tuned to higher settings than i have...

i also sometimes find myself short of breath when it starts up, i guess it depends on what i'm doing at the time - if it catches me off guard or while i'm right in the middle of something, i'm more likely to have adverse effects...

there's also more pain associated with it - i have a slight earache while it's pulsing.

having it actually going off every five minutes is making it more noticeable as well...

think it's time for a nap now - not sure if it's just the weird brain stuff going on or if i'm dealing with side effects from the Keppra, but i'm really tired nowadays...*yawn*

How in the hell is it that Spike Lee can get an injunction to keep TNN from changing their name to Spike TV? I think he's just pulling a publicity stunt - he's not been in the news too much lately with his films and such, so hey, here's an opportunity to get yer name in the paper. The man's real name isn't even Spike! And it's not like they wanna change it to SpikeLeeTV - most people I've heard talk about this, when asked who they think of when they hear the name Spike, mention the dude from Buffy. When ya take a name as your own that's a common word in the English language, how can you expect to lay exclusive claim to it?

The article says, "Viacom’s lawyers said Lee cannot prove their network’s new name refers to him. And they said no New York law gives a celebrity’s first name the protection Lee is seeking without some other suggestion of the person’s persona. But the judge disagreed. “Contrary to defendants’ position, the court is of the opinion that in the age of mass communication, a celebrity can in fact establish a vested right in the use of only their first name or a surname,” the judge wrote. “There are many celebrities that are so recognized, including Cher, Madonna, Sting and Liza.” "

yeah, but Spike Lee isn't known only as Spike the way Cher is Cher - he's SPIKE LEE.

then ya learn who Spike's lawyer is on this matter and that makes it TOTALLY clear that this is a publicity stunt - it's Johnnie Cochran, for christ's sake!

happy flag day! whoo hoo!

think i'll stick to flyin' the queer flag now, since the ol' red white & blue has become a sad cliche in this day & age.

VNS Update - okay, how's this for weird...friday the 13th i go to the neurologist, for a followup after all the seizures. still baffled as to why i had 4 seizures in one day, since i'd been taking all my meds and the VNS was zapping me and all - what the hell's going on?!?!? not only that, subsequent bloodwork i had after getting out of the hospital showed my dilantin level was 6.9 when it shoulda been in the 10 to 20 range - what the hell?

so, the nurse brings in the VNS computer, says that they like to check it out every time i come in, even when i'm not coming in for a change to the VNS settings or whatever. well, when dr. mohan gets me all plugged in, and he finds that my stimulator isn't set to the settings he'd programmed me for last time!!!

previously, he had set it to turn ON at 0.50 mA (milliamps) for 30 seconds the normal charge, then 5 minutes OFF - using the magnet to turn it on would start it at 0.75 mA. what he'd found was that instead of ON 30 seconds, OFF 5 minutes, it was ON 30 seconds, OFF 180 minutes - instead of going off every 5 minutes, it was going off once every THREE HOURS!!!!

well, perhaps that's the freakin reason for all the seizures!!?!!?!!?!! things were fine & dandy, i was getting zapped appropriately and taking all my meds, then something happened and all of the sudden the VNS (aka the Zapper) wasn't working correctly!

dr. mohan was flabbergasted when he saw the settings on the computer - asked me if someone else had made any changes to the VNS settings....er, nope, not that i know of! so now it's a brain strain after he asked 23489 questions - nope, didn't have a mammogram, no MRI's or anything like that, don't recall being around any strong magnets...when the hell did the settings get changed and HOW?!?!? i need to know so that i can avoid it happening again. i thought that i'd gotten used to the stimulator and that's why i wasn't noticing it every 5 minutes, but rather several times a day - guess that wasn't the case!!

so we've made some changes to my meds...i'll be weaning myself off of the dilantin while beginning to take a new seizure med, Keppra - the hope is to be on that and be seizure free for a while, then we'll wean myself off of that as well...

we've also upped the stimulation on the VNS - 0.75 mA (milliamps) for 30 seconds the normal charge, then 5 minutes OFF - using the magnet to turn it on starts it at 1.00 mA

while all these changes are being made, my seizure threshold is going to be lower, so doc told me to take a couple of weeks off of work. as tired as i've been, i can't say i'm crushed to have to take time off work, tho my paycheck will be crushed.

VNS Update - hrmmmm....would www.seizureopportunity.com be too tacky for a domain name? i've had all this stuff piling up to put into a web site about my Vagus Nerve Stimulator and now i hafta decide what domain name i wanna use...i want something catchy, maybe a bit humorous (punny?), and easy to remember....

perhaps www.impulsiveconvulsive.com?

www.demonictonicclonic.com?

sardonictonicclonic.com?

yeah, i suppose we're reaching....

adam found out from a guy in scotland that the southerlands are related to sutherlands without the o - he found a couple of interesting links - http://www.clansutherland.org.uk and http://www.clansutherland.org - it's a shame we don't know that much about dad's side of the family...i was always fascinated in learning mom's family history through grandma's geneaological stuff...there was a name change there as well - when grandpa came over from norway, he americanized his name from grevle to gravelie...

VNS Update - i'm gonna hafta get some additional magnets to keep around the house and work and such to make it easy to activate my VNS - the two that were supplied after the surgery aren't enough. of course, buying them through cyberonics is crazy - they're thirty bucks a piece! a good substitute is a cow magnet...

google gave me a few places that sell them online...

http://www.sciencestuff.com/Merchant2/merchant.mv?Category_Code=P-g&Product_Code=0216 - $5.95 each

http://www.teachersource.com/direct/35260 - $5.95 each or $4.95 in quantities greater than 5

http://doityourself.com/store/9907361.htm - $9.39 for pkg of 2

http://www.traintownhobbycrafts.com/16science/07magnets/magnets.html - $9.90 for pkg of 2, Moo Magnet Activity Kit is $7.95

http://www.sciencestuff.com/Merchant2/merchant.mv?Category_Code=P-g - $5.95 each, Moo Magnet Activity Kit is $7.95

http://www.magnetsource.com/Consumer%20Pages/Carded_Cows.html - $9.90 for pkg of 2, Moo Magnet Activity Kit is $7.95, 1 Patented Ru-Master 5 Cow Magnet $4.95

poor rene zellweger - the efforts she puts forth for her rolls - er, ROLES!

"The actress has six weeks to gain two stones and go from a size six to 14 for the title role in Bridget Jones: Edge of Reason - which means up to 20 doughnuts a day. 'One doughnut does not do a thing,' Zellweger, the weight-gain pro, said. 'You've got to eat 20 a day for five weeks to get results.' Gruelling preparations for the role include absolutely no exercise and a daily intake of 4,700 calories. Breakfast is a Big Mac and large fries, savoury scones with gravy and a high-fat milkshake. A snack lunch includes pizza, peanut butter and chips, washed down with the aforementioned doughnuts. For her relatively austere dinner Zellweger then wolfs down a giant plate of spaghetti Bolognese with potatoes and butter. It took months of running and yoga to get rid of the 20lb the method actress put on to play all-smoking all-drinking Bridget in the original film - but with Hollywood funding the private gyms and fitness instructors (while simultaneously denying juicy roles to the larger woman) who wouldn't bet on her dropping these most recent spare tyres within months too. Piece of cake."

Feeling weird - left work early last night (after 2 hours) cuz i just couldn't focus on work. Doc's office called and told me my dilantin level was 6.9, when it should be in the 10 to 20 range. i don't know WHY my level's going low. now i'm sitting around waiting for the neurologist to call me back to see what i should do - i'll probably miss work yet again tonight.

Uh oh - Indiana's a death penalty state, isn't it? I think I'm in trouble.

I cleaned out the fridge here at work over the weekend, and threw away someone's recycled milk jug that was 1/3 full of water...you'd think i'd have fucking MURDERED somebody.

Gay groups ready to fight for rights: Coalition wants lawmakers to extend civil protections to sexual orientation. - wonder what car dealer it was that Chris Clements worked for, and whether or not they're advertising in Wheels & Deals - they probably wouldn't want to do so if they found out how many lesbos we've got working on the ads and how gay-positive a company we are.

From the Total Fucking Surprise Department: Jenna & Heidi Are Gonna Strip for Playboy - now if they REALLY wanted to do something different, get Christy to pose - hell, I'd buy a subscription to see that!!!

funny or scary? not sure which wins out here: Inimitably Profound Presidential Quotations on whitehouse.org

i really threw codi for a loop just now:

LBthePDD: will you tell pooky to gimme a call? i need to talk to him about when/if we're gonna get together for little bro matt's birthday (today)

bitch eras3r: done :-)

LBthePDD: donkey shoes!

bitch eras3r: donkey shoes?

LBthePDD: yeah, ain't that german for thank you or something like that?

bitch eras3r: danke schoen

bitch eras3r: :P

LBthePDD: :-D

bitch eras3r: dork

LBthePDD: hey, you're the german student, not me.

bitch eras3r: so!?

LBthePDD: *rofl*

bitch eras3r: :P

LBthePDD: wow, do a google search for "donkey shoes" and a link to nordstrom comes up....

bitch eras3r: oh god

bitch eras3r: NOOOO

LBthePDD: damn, nothing on ebay tho - "0 (Estimated) items found for donkey shoes"

bitch eras3r: awe

still working on getting back to "normal"...made it to work today - not quite normal though, i showed up early because my sleep schedule's been so farked up this past week that i figured i'd better get in here and do some work while i was still awake...

i thought this cortisone shot was gonna alleviate some of the pain in my wrists - i think right now it hurts more than it did before. allergic reaction, perhaps? feels swollen and achy...

got a big o' needle full o' cortisone stuck into my wrist today, in hopes of alleviating some of the carpal tunnel symptoms - it feels weird, my whole hand's numb, and it feels like it's swollen, tho i don't think it is...i'd still prefer this sensation to some of the carpal tunnel pains...let's hope this just means no surgery!

i'm slowly getting back to "normal" - well, normal by lori standards...still not feeling quite right, but getting better as time goes by...man those seizures fucked me up.

i tell ya, it's times like this when ya find out who your friends are - lemme just take a minute to thank everyone that's peeked in on me and sent me good thoughts...i got flowers and a card yesterday from a woman that works with my mother, for pete's sake! people can be really nice...

Happy Birthday Angelina Jolie!

Well well well, she's got a blog for her USA for UNHCR ambassadorship...

A woman brought a very limp parrot into the veterinarian.

As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, Polly has passed away".

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure? I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something?"

The vet rolled his eyes, shrugged, turned and left the room returning a few moments later with a beautiful black Labrador.

As the bird's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the dead parrot from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his
head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out but returned a few moments later with a cat!

The cat jumped up and also sniffed delicately at the ex-bird. The cat sat back, shook its head, meowed and ran out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry; but like I said, your parrot is most definitely, 100% certifiably, dead." He then turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman.

The parrot's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried. "$150 just to tell me my bird is dead?!"

The vet shrugged. "If you'd taken my word for it the bill would only have been $20, but.........what with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan..."

why is it all the books i put on hold come in all at once at the library?

right now, i have:

You may not tie an alligator to a fire hydrant : 101 real dumb laws - Koon, Jeff

Culture jamming : the uncooling of America - Kalle Lasn

Stupid white men-- and other sorry excuses for the state of the nation! - Michael Moore

What liberal media? : the truth about bias and the news - Eric Alterman

Refrigerator rights : creating connections and restoring relationships - Dr. Will Miller

101 survival secrets : how to make $1,000,000, lose 100 pounds, and just plain live happily - Rich Hatch

Second acts : creating the life you really want, building the career you truly desire - Stephen M. Pollan

The truth is-- : my life in love and music - Melissa Etheridge

The wisdom of the enneagram : the complete guide to psychological and spiritual growth for the nine personality types - Don Richard Riso

Your own worst enemy : breaking the habit of adult underachievement - Kenneth W. Christian

got the first 4.5 of them read - meanwhile, more are coming in at the library! waiting to be picked up are:

Photoshop 7 : killer tips - Scott Kelby

A collaboration with nature. - Andy Goldsworthy

at least i've got plenty of reading material to keep my mind busy....

it's pretty bad when you're terrified to go to sleep because you don't know if you'll wake up in the same place that you fell asleep in, or if you'll wake up at all.

do i just shut up and take a sleeping pill and hope it kicks in? i've probably actually gotten enough sleep lately - literally all day and all night saturday, and most of sunday as well. i just can't seem to turn my head off to go to sleep, but i don't know if not sleeping will make things even worse...

my my my, what a weekend! alas, it went NOTHING like i'd planned...

saturday was jam packed - fever game, go to a party & then go see adam's gig at fusion....alas, none of it happened because i spent all day saturday and most of sunday in the hospital because of seizures - i had FOUR on saturday. this is unheard of - i'll usually just have one. mom used the magnet on me, but obviously there's something else going on here. i'm gonna hafta give a few people a more intense lesson, apparently - mom said it's really hard to use while i'm convulsing.

it's really strange to wake up and not have a clue where you are or how you got there. apparently they loaded me up with valium in the er when i started my 4th seizure on saturday, and they they had me stay the night. i hate putting mom through this - especially after seeing brenda's (i think that's her name) seizure at the softball field last month - that really put things into perspective for me. i generally just have to deal with a bitch of a headache when i come out of a seizure - meanwhile mom's freaking out. i hate putting her through this.

i think it goes without saying: epilepsy sucks.

for the record, Office Max's CD inkjet sleeves SUCK ASS (and not in a good way)...trying to assemble a unique b-day present and this stuff sucks! figured a cardboard sleeve would be better then sending more plastic crap out into the world - alas, the office max dumbasses don't bother to provide a template, or even measurements, so i had to just eyeball it since avery doesn't seem to have a similar product...i was pretty close, but not as close as i wanted to be...grrrrr...

perhaps it's time for some sleep...

hrmmmm....we'll hafta see about this one:

The Bravo cable network is going where no television dating show has gone before: matchmaking gay men.

"Boy Meets Boy," a six-episode series that will premiere in July, also twists reality show conventions by secretly including straight men among the pool of dating prospects.

...

It appears "Boy Meets Boy" will handle it in a lighthearted, non-exploitive way, he said.

...

Already, the Traditional Values Coalition plans to alert its 43,000 member churches to protest the series, said Andrea Lafferty, the Washington-based group's executive director.

"Clearly, they've hit a new low," Lafferty said. "What's next after `Boy Meets Boy'? `Boy Meets Sheep'?"

hrmmm, well the fact that the TVC is protesting it means i'll definitely watch it, and encourage everyone else to do so, and to email Bravo that they like the fact that they broadcast programming for everyone, queers included.

UPDATE: interesting comments in the Fark discussion of this thang - now i'm not sure what i think of it...is it good to add straight guys in the mix of potentials, or are we setting things up for another Jenny Jones episode? probably not that severe, but i wouldn't put it past a major 'phobe to act like a queer-supportive straight guy to get in there and cause some trouble...*shrug*...yay to Bravo for including queers, but do we really wanna be included in ALL the things straights are, including trashy "reality" tv??

i suppose a strange mix of things has combined to flip my lid...

Recipe:
A reading of Culture Jam: How to Reverse America's Suicidal Consumer Binge-And Why We Must by Kalle Lasn...
A visit to the Culture-Jammer's Encyclopedia at sniggle.net, particularly the Creative Use Of Anagrams in the Vandalism section...
A visit to the pranks page at cockeyed.com...
A visit to the Busy Marquee...
A general desire to do something totally crazy (silly-crazy, not psychotic-crazy)

So ya take all those ingredients (and then some!) and the result is THIS...

so i guess it's all heterosexual married or single men on IPD, right? cuz the website for spouses of IPD officers is www.ipdwives.com - not ipdspouses or something like that, and we know them damned gay people can't do the marriage thing do have a husband or wife...

it appears the last thing on the page is an out and out lie, so i don't know how much else we can believe...

"You are visitor number
001720
since March 9, 2003.

And this counter only counts each computer ONCE no matter how many times you come back!"

wrong - every time i reloaded the page the number went up by one, and i doubt the site's getting flooded by hits at 3:30am...

yikes - scary pics! i guess we don't appreciate nearly enough just how much our hands do for us...

note to self, get info on Dupuytren's Disease for debbie

nice memorial day - been out in the back yard, getting the patio all ready for summer festivities...i wish it would warm up though! too cold to get into the pool - well, the ambient temp is okay, but it hasn't gotten hot enough to warm up the water - i think it's about 50 degrees in there - i suppose we could have a Polar Bear club meeting...

alas, there's lots of cleanup that needs to happen INSIDE as well, but i think it'll all be good for me to host the july women's pitch-in...why oh why do i have to be such a clutterbug?!?!?

incredible movie. Andy Goldsworthy's art and discussion of it makes me wanna dig out the ol' art supplies and get to creating...

woulda been even nicer if i hadn't been stood up, but oh well...

there are a lot of VERY interesting movies coming to Key Cinemas...i might look into coordinating a mutual friends movie night for the next few weeks or so - we'll see...

on my way to go see Rivers & Tides at Key Cinemas - hope the whole movie is as mesmerizing as the preview for it was...

I love Let It Out - granted, most of the comments people send in to the Indy Star to be printed in the paper are stupid, but every once in a while there's a funny one in there...

The difference between a cubicle and a prison cell is that the cell is bigger and it has a bed!

yo - if you're a co-worker of mine reading this entry, don't read it - or don't tell the evil powers that be about it, at the very least. ;-)

re: the sexual harassment i might inflict upon my co-workers for the month of june...

first, a little background info - last year, we had these big meetings about how to make our workplace more productive, blah blah blah - one thing that came out of it was that we were encouraged to make things less sterile - we could personalize our cubicles, etc...

so, they've decided to sub-lease half of our building, and of course my department's in the half that gets moved to the other side of the building...last week the move took place - at the end of our shifts wednesday, we boxed up all our personal effects and moved them to the other side of the building.

one thing i've had on my overhead box in my cubicle is a calendar - a Queer As Folk calendar - i wanted a month at a glance type calendar and hey, QAF is a favorite show, so there ya go...

this week the boss tells me she needs to talk to me - she knows i'm gonna be pissed, she's pissed about it too...she shows me an email from Human Resources (er, shouldn't it just be Human Resource, since there's only one in the department? of course, i'm beginning to doubt her on both counts - not very much of a resource, and i'm beginning to wonder if she's human - but i digress) - seems HR "person" was roaming our new workspace and saw my calendar. she decided to flip through it - June's photo is a pic from Episode 4 of Season 2 of Queer As Folk - in the episode, Ted & Emmett get Michael to go to the Pride Parade in drag. here's the pic:



Michael was determined not to go to the Parade, but Ted & Emmett put the dress on top of him and were talking about how a few alterations and it'd be all his!

However, HR "person" saw this pic and determined that all these fags were doing something dirty and sexual - playing with michael's penis, perhaps? - therefore, my displaying this pic will be in violation of our company's sexual harassment policy.

So, now what do i do - i'm tempted to put a couple strips of duct-tape on pertinent portions and write a smart-ass comment on them (me? smart-ass? i know, hard to imagine, but i'll try!)...but i certainly wouldn't wanna do something to get myself fired...*ponder*

it's funny, i think my boss is more pissed about it than me - i just think it's STUPID and SILLY...whatever...

beware Flipwit! - it's addictive!

Quote O De Day, courtesy of Indiana Jones himself:

Is there a practical use for a whip?
Depends on your girlfriend.

amusing quote, till ya realize his gf's Calista Flockhart - eewwwwww! oh well, everyone's got their own preferences, i guess...

well, i've got little more than week to decide just what in the hell i'm going to do about sexually harassing my co-workers...if i do it, it will be for the entire month of june...details (and pix) later...

Ya know, it's cool that MSNBC is doing a story on the VNS and all, but they coulda come up with a better headline, I think - "Shock therapy makes a comeback" - excuse me?!? well, maybe they were intentionally going for the (no pun intended - yeah, right) "shock effect" of a headline like that...but the Vagus Nerve Stimulator i have implanted in my neck is NOT anything like shock therapy of the old days...

woo hoo! Duck Hunt, now online! sheesh, was it really almost 20 years ago that this was out on the original nintendo NES?!?

the star had a story about a new get together - the "Quiet Party." - hmmm....wonder if organizing one of these for Mutual Friends would gather any interest...

every once in a while, an asshole on fark will post a completely inappropriate picture...people are talking about spyware, bringing up some good advice, and then we see THIS picture....woah.

so, are your immunizations up to date? i'm not sure about all mine - with all the new docs i've been seeing lately, they ask me about them and i'm not sure...had flu and pneumonia shots last fall, but when was my last tetanus? haven't a clue...

alrighty now Steph, don't be doggin' the Practice - Camryn Manheim's on the Crackers List - she can eat crackers in my bed anytime she wants! and i guess i'd let Dylan McDermott watch - he's not too bad lookin', for a GUY... ;-)

anywhoo, i don't generally get to watch the first run episodes (used to be on sundays, now they're on monday nights) - however, channel 6 shows reruns of previous seasons' episodes at midnight sunday (saturday night too, actually) - so there's actually something halfway decent on tv when i get home sunday night after work (my shift's supposed to be 4 to midnight, but i usually get home around 11ish)...yeah, i know the sopranos and six feet under are on sunday nights, but i'm slaving away at work when that stuff's on...thank god for dvd's, eh?

good to know that whole amber alert thing worked out, but they definitely need to be a bit more organized the next time they wanna use it...

so i'm writing out the check at the doc's office today and notice that the pen's for Diastat - it's a form of diazepam - hmmm, isn't that valium? yup, it is. the interesting thing is the form of diazepam - diastat is diazepam rectal gel - eeek! ass valium! the diastat web page is interesting - want to stop seizures without going to the emergency room? it says - oh, so ya need one of your homies to give ya your dose of ass valium...

so, i'm watching the sunday night repeat of The Practice on channel 6 and the tv goes freaky - buzzing and making weird noises...then at the top of the screen there's an announcement about a Civil Alert for all of Indiana from 12:00 till 5:00am - what the hell? A little while later, there's a box in the corner that says it's an Amber Alert - go to the Indy Star website - nothing...go to the Channel 6 website - nothing...you'd think the damned channel that announces something like this would have the info on their website!!!

so i track down the Amber Alert page -

apparently there's something happening in Gary, Indiana...

if this is how the system's supposed to work, it ain't gonna work. by the time people figure out what the hell it is that's going on, a kidnapper's gonna be long gone or well hidden...

wonder if the newly installed signs on the highways were used for this....

Gaye Males in real estate? whodathunkit?